Chapter 51

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I must have fallen asleep at some point because when I open my eyes again, I'm alone on the sofa with the blanket wrapped around me though I'm still shivering and cold. Summer is asleep in her dog bed across the room and I can hear angry but hushed voices outside.

"You can't be mad at her though! It's not fair at all. You know that!" Jack sounds upset as he speaks. I lay still as I can, despite my shaking, and listen closely.

"I'm not angry! I'm not. It just hurts to see that, it hurts to see her hurting herself right in front of me. I'm fucking terrified that one day I'm going to walk into that room and she's going to be gone. I'm scared, Jack!" I can tell Jimmy is crying by the way his voice shakes and trembles. I wrap my arms around my stomach and hold back my own tears. I'm not gonna die... Am I? Am I really that bad?

"I know you're scared, we all are. But she's on the meal plan and back on her meds. We're being careful, I promise you Jimmy. We're not going to let anything happen. We've got the meeting tomorrow. Just give her a chance, okay? Let her try," Jack sighs as he finishes speaking. There's silence for a moment before Jimmy breaks it.

"She needs to start gaining weight. She has to. I think this is the worst I've ever seen her. How the hell aren't you freaking out? Have you even seen her properly? There's literally nothing left of her. I don't understand how the fuck she's still walking..." The end of his sentence is cut off by a loud sob.

"Come here..." I can imagine Jack is probably hugging him now. My eyes are wide as I listen in fear and hurt.

"Look, Jimmy, we can put some things in place if you want... We can restrict physical activity. No pacing or anything like that. And we can make sure she uses the wheelchair when we leave the house. Until she's at least a bit better. We'll get a better idea of what we can do tomorrow after that meeting. She'll be okay until then. Please just give us a chance to let her try and get better. It takes time, you know that. Please?" I hear Sam's voice cut in. Shit... They're all at it with their secret conversations.

"Okay... okay... I'm going to tidy up the room a bit. I just need to think. It's nearly lunch now, can someone check on Ev and cook lunch for her, please?" Jimmy finally stops arguing however the thought of lunch instantly panicks me. I quickly get back into the position I was asleep in and close my eyes just as the door opens. Two sets of footsteps approach me and a gentle hand rests on my shoulder.

"Everleigh, wake up Ev!" Sam whispers to me. I pretend to yawn, turning around and opening my eyes.

"Oh... I fell asleep?" I say, my body shaking. Jack nods.

"Yeah, about half way through the show. It's lunch time now, let's go pick something for you to eat okay?" I hold back my thoughts, eyes wide as I nod. With a deep breath, I slowly sit up and move the blanket off of me. Sam looks away, taking a breath. I ignore him and stand myself up, legs shaking.

"I need a hoodie..." I say quietly before walking over to the door.

"Wait, Ev! It's okay, let me get it. What one do you want?" Jack interrupts and I stop. I think for a moment.

"Can I have my BVB one, please?" I finally respond and Jack nods before walking out of the living room. Sam pats my arm gently and leads me to the kitchen where he then gestures to the fridge.

"What do you want for lunch, Ev?" Sam asks me with a small encouraging smile. I stand still as my body quivers in cold fear. Just as I'm about to say I can't do it, Jack returns holding my hoodie in his hands. I thank him, taking it and quickly slipping it on. Once it's on, my arms wrap around my torso and I bounce on my heels anxiously.

"Remember, you need one portion each of carbs, veg and protein. Have a look in the freezer if you want!" Sam reminds me. I slowly move over to the freezer opening it and staring into it anxiously. I close it a minute later before moving to the fridge.

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