As I approach the front garden of my home, I stop. I stare at the front door for a moment before sighing and turning away. Instead of going inside, I leave the bag with Jimmy's stuff in it outside and attempt to stand up out of my wheelchair. When I'm standing, I'm not as dizzy as this morning so I decide I'll go without it for a walk. I pick up my water bottle of vodka and backpack. Then I take the things I need from Summer's dog bag, adding them to mine. With one final look at the house, I turn away and continue down the street with Summer padding along beside me.
"Let's go for a stroll girlie. See where we end up, hey?" She looks up at me with her sparkly eyes and licks my hand softly. I pat her head before opening up my 'water' bottle and taking a large swig.
I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going at this point but I know I need to go, I need to feel free and I need to feel alive. I don't know what's making me feel like this or why I'm suddenly so wild but I love it. I feel so elated, it's amazing. Pure bliss. I'm ALIVE.
As I turn down a fourth street, my phone beeps with a message. I quickly take another swig of vodka before taking it out and reading it. It's from Jimmy.
J - Ev? Where are you love? Why did you leave your stuff outside? Is Summer with you and are you okay?
I sigh. I can't do fucking ANYTHING without Jimmy knowing. It's not like I'm a fucking danger to anyone, I'm FINE. I quickly type a reply.
E - Going for a walk. I'm fine leave me alone stop worrying. I'm not a little kid.
That should shut him up. I put my phone back into my pocket and speed up my pace. I don't know where I am now, I've been walking for about 10 minutes however up ahead I see a park gate and walk inside. Ahead of me is a huge field that leads on to a forest in the distance.
"Go on, Summer!" I encourage her to go for a run and she takes the opportunity instantly. I take a tennis ball out of my bag and begin to throw it for her. She gallops off after it each time before returning to me with the soggy ball in her mouth so I can throw it again. After each throw, I drink some more until before I know it, I'm across the field and my large water bottle is half empty. I'm swaying as I walk and everything is a blissful blur. I can hear music but it's the same first verse of Helena by My Chem repeating over and over again. Summer is running along with the ball in her mouth and suddenly I realise I'm running too. The music stops and I pull out my phone to to see 5 missed calls and 4 messages from Jimmy. I open the messages one by one.
My Love - Ev, this isn't like you. I'm worried. Did something happen at the appointment? Are you sure you're alright? Please just tell me where you are
My Love - Why aren't you replying? Babe, please I'm really worried about you I'm going to try and call you. Please pick up
My Love - EVERLEIGH! Please just PICK UP! I'm worried. I'm messaging Sam. Just reply, it's okay I'll come pick you up and we can go home. Did you take your meds today? Please just answer me
Each message gives me a wave of anger. I'm not a BABY. I can go where I want, why is he so controlling? Well, fuck him. Fuck him fuck him fuck him I'm not replying. I put my phone back in my pocket and walk into the wooded area. Summer is happy as can be, running around and picking up different sticks, sniffing the different smells of the woods and chasing squirrels. I take the last swig of my vodka before throwing the water bottle on the floor and pulling my backpack off of my shoulders. I dig down to the bottom and pull out the malibu. I feel sick but I need more. I need to be out of it, I need to be numb. As I flick off the lid, I realise I actually didn't take my medication today. Or last night either... I must've forgot. Oh well, fuck it. I chug a few mouthfuls of malibu before taking out another cigarette. I don't know how much time has passed but every time I zone out, I end up in a different place in the forest. At this point I have no clue where I am and Summer has stopped running around. She's walking close by my legs and looking up at me every few moments. She seems concerned. Even my dog can't give me a break. Why does everyone care so much? I am NOTHING. They should leave me, I'm fucking worthless. I don't deserve their love.
YOU ARE READING
Problem Kid
Teen Fiction[NEW CHAPTERS RANDOMLY RELEASED] ⚠️⚠️18+ due to mature themes⚠️⚠️ Everleigh has never had a normal life. After losing her father as a young teenager, she fell into the painful routine of self harm and eating disorders, repeatedly checking in and out...
