Chapter 41

162 4 3
                                    

After sitting and scrolling through social media for another hour, I finally put down my phone. Thankfully, no one ended up bringing me the fortasip replacement for my food so I feel more relaxed however I'm beginning to feel the strain on my eyes and need a break from my phone. Annoyingly, once my attention is away from the screen, the desperate cravings for a cigarette begin to kick in. I sigh in frustration, wondering how I'm going to be able to go out without Sam here. I decide to just get out of bed and take myself to the nursing station to ask. As I stand up, Summer lifts her head up off of her dog bed for a moment to look at me. She decides she's too tired to follow so I make my way out of my side room and slowly walk up to the nursing station where multiple ward staff are sitting doing their work or whatever it is they do on their computers. An older male nurse looks up at me as I stand there awkwardly.

"Hello there, how can I help you?" He asks me calmly.

"Hi... erm... can I go out for a smoke please?" I ask. He asks for a moment before walking over to another nurse and speaking to her. After a brief interaction, he returns to me.

"Alright, so, you're meant to have you visitor take you out normally but we know he's left the ward for now," I look down, my eyes stinging.

"So because he isn't here right now, I'll see if a nurse can take you down but it'll be up to them if they want to take that risk. If they agree, I'll have someone to take you in about half an hour, alright?" I nod quickly and thank him, relief filling my mind at the thought of going for a smoke soon.

"I'm gonna have a shower and get changed if that's okay?" I ask him and he nods. I return to my room.

"Hey Sum! I'm gonna have a shower, okay bubba?" I say to her. She opens her eyes for a split moment before deciding she still doesn't want to get up. I pat her head gently before heading over to my bag that Sam brought me earlier. I dig through it, searching for an outfit. There's only one change of clothes in there. Piece by piece, I take the clothing items out and throw them onto the end of my bed.

Some black leggings.

A pair of red grippy socks from a past hospital admission.

A black sports bra.

My comfy boxers.

A large baggy grey tie dye tshirt.

A black zip up hoodie.

I fold up the clothes quickly before pulling out my toiletries bag, a black towel and makeup bag. After a moment of searching for my phone charger, I finally find it in the bottom of the bag and go to plug it into the wall. Once my phone is attached, I take all my items from the end of the bed into the bathroom with me. I shut and lock the door before putting my stuff on the floor and going over to the shower however after taking a look down at my bandages, at this point, I'm past caring. All I want is a nice, long shower. Once I've taken off my hospital gown, I begin to unwrap the bandages and remove all of the plasters until they're all off. They go straight into the bin. I take my hidden contraband items out of my bra and hide most of the items under my clothes except for one singular blade. That gets put on the small shelf inside the shower area along with my shampoo, conditioner and body scrub. My underwear is removed and my skin feels free. The cool bathroom air feels nice on my bare skin. It only takes me a moment to figure out the shower. Once the water is hot enough, I step under the steady stream and sigh in relief. The water at my feet is tinted brown because of how dirty I am from when I was missing. Disgusting. I rinse off the dirt and allow the water to soak my hair before taking a large handful of coconut scented shampoo and lathering it on my hair. I scrub it in and rinse. When I open my eyes, the blade is staring right at me. I reach out for it however a sharp knock on the door startles me.

Problem KidWhere stories live. Discover now