Chapter 80

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Once we arrive in town, I say goodbye to Jimmy and give him a kiss, checking I have everything I need from the car.

"I'll see you at lunch, head to the tattoo shop for about 12.30pm and I should be ready, okay?" I nod.

"Alright, have fun at work!" I call out as I begin my walk into the shopping centre with Summer. Where to go first? I look around as we slowly walk into the main hall of the ground floor until I spot Primark. I begin my walk inside, my dog at my heel. We head to the jeans section first where I have a look around. I spot some cool black ripped skinny jeans and have a look at the sizes. I used to be a four or a six so... I'll try and eight and ten. I pick both up and place them into my basket, moving on to some dark grey distressed jeans. I pick the same sizes of those up and also place them into my basket. I move on to find some leggings. I choose some plain black ones, the non see through kind, and put two pairs each of sizes, 8 and 10, into my basket. I then take a stroll over to the underwear section. I spot a black and red lacy bra and knickers set and instantly make a beeline to those. I grab the bra in a B cup and the knickers in a small and move over to some of the less fancy stuff. I grab a few different pairs of the more comfortable bras in black and white and then a set of two sports bras in black and grey. Finally, I grab some boxer style underwear in black. After dropping those into the basket, I move over to the t-shirts section where they have a grey guns n roses t-shirt which catches my eye. I grab it in a medium for some bagginess and drop it into my basket. Once I'm satisfied that's everything I want, I head over to the changing rooms. I get given my tag number and head into a stall, closing the curtain and commanding Summer to lie down just under the bottom of the curtain whilst I try on the jeans. The 8 in the grey jeans is a perfect fit so I keep those however the black ones I am in-between sizes since the waistband feels a bit too snug on the 8 so I keep the ten, reminding myself to grab a belt before checking out. The leggings fit perfectly in size 8 so I keep all of those. On my way out of the changing room, I put the sizes that don't fit me onto the table with everyone else's discards, thanking the staff as I hand the tag back. I grab a black studded belt off of the shelves as I head to the checkout and pay.

I quickly make my way out of the shop however I must have been a bit too hasty as Summer stops in place and alerts me of a POTS episode. I quickly praise her before taking us both over to a quiet corner where I put our bags down and carefully sit myself down. I check my watch as I do so, my heart rate is at 164bpm. Great. The second I'm on the ground, Summer jumps straight into deep pressure therapy, laying across my thighs with her head rested on the ground. I take some deep breaths in and out, getting out my water bottle from my bag and taking small sips whilst trying to calm my body down but my efforts are futile. I feel myself going dizzy and Summer alerts again so I lay down using the Primark bag and backpack as a head rest. Any second now...

"Hello? Are you okay?" I wake up to a few people standing around me, staring down. One of them is a security guard, the woman who is speaking to me. The rest is a family of shoppers. I take a moment to get my bearings, Summer licking my face gently to help bring me back around. It takes me a minute to become alert enough to respond.

"I'm okay, thank you." I inform the security guard. I stay laying down for another minute or so, making sure I'm fully back before sitting up.

"Do you need any help? Want us to call anyone for you?" The mother in the family asks, her toddler pulling at her skirt for attention.

"Mama! Mama! I want ice cream!" Her voice is shrill and pierces my ears. I slowly sit myself up, using the wall behind my for stability as I'm still slightly dizzy.

"It's okay, I'm alright. Thank you though. This is normal for me, my dog Summer is a trained service animal and knows how to help me in these situations. But thank you, I appreciate it!" I search around for my water bottle, once I find it I take another few sips before checking my heart rate on my watch again. Back down to 109bpm, that's much better.

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