Problem Kid

Chapter 40

Not long after we arrive back onto the ward, Summer is giving me yet another alert. I sigh in annoyance at myself. I hate days like these, I hate my POTS and I especially hate the flare ups that come with it. Sam is scrolling on his phone and doesn't notice. I decide to just lay down and get it over with, calling Summer into position. It's only when I speak that Sam looks up.

"You okay?" I nod before plugging my earphones in and laying back. I don't have the mental energy to talk right now. I just want this knockout to be over however as I lay there with my legs propped up on the end of the bed, the dizziness begins to subside and Summer gets off of the bed. I sigh in relief before sitting back up.

"Sam?" He looks up as I say his name.

"I don't want to stay another night..." He nods.

"I know. But it's only one more night, it'll be over before you know it and you'll be able to come back home," he tries to ressure me.

"I just don't get why I can't leave now!" I complain in annoyance.

"They probably just need to keep and eye on you to make sure you're ready,"

"But I am ready! I'm sick of this place! So sick of it!" I'm on the verge of yelling now.

"Everleigh, it's one more fucking night, okay?! Just chill out, it's not that big of a deal!" I flinch as he shouts the words at me in frustration before walking out. I'm angry at myself. I'm so fucking annoying to him that he can't even deal with me anymore. He's sick of my shit and I know it. The reality of my thoughts sting...

I hit myself in the head before trying to calm down and breathe. I want to run off again, I want to run and drink and hurt. But I know I need to stop running from my problems and drinking them all away until the morning. I need to stay calm, I can't ruin my discharge or do anything stupid. I just need to breathe. In and out, in and out. It's okay. Summer finishes drinking her water and looks up at me from the other side of of room where I eventually go to join her. I sit myself down on her dog bed and she comes up to me, licking my face gently. I whisper that I love her before breaking down and crying into her fur. She stays still, her presence comforting me as I cry it all out. I fucking hate feeling sorry for myself so I try to wipe off the tears. When I look up, a nurse stands in front of me. I've not met her yet but she looks cool with electric blue dyed hair cut into a short, curly bob. It compliments her dark skin beautifully and she has a gentle smile on her face which is decorated with piercings. She holds a blue tray in her hands but I can't see what's in it from the floor.

"Hey..." I say, trying not to cry more as I've just cleared my face of all the tears.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt... I need to change your dressings on your wounds if that's okay?" I sigh and nod, slowly standing myself up and walking back over to the bed. I click my fingers and Summer hops on, laying down across my legs. The nurse half empties the table before sliding it over across my bed and putting the tray down on it.

"Where first?" I ask and she gestures to my arms. I put the left one onto the table and she gently unwraps the bandages before slowly peeling off the plaster. I look away, not wanting to trigger myself at the sight of my own arms.

"I'm just going to clean your arm with saline and gauze and then I'll put a fresh plaster and bandage, alright?" I nod and thank her quickly. I use my other hand to pick up my phone which I use to go onto my messages. I open up Jimmy's chat and think about what to say. By the time I've decided, my arm is dressed again. I move my phone into the opposite hand before giving the other one to the nurse. I type my message out.

I'm sorry. I love you.

And I click send. I drop my phone onto my lap and begin stroking Summer's soft fur.