Problem Kid

Chapter 38

"So... what are your plans for the week?" I try to make small talk with Sam but he laughs at my question. I move back a little, confused.

"I'm sorry for laughing, Ev. It's just... of course I'm not going to be doing anything! I'm going to be here for you, okay? I'm taking a week off work," I'm confused.

"Sam, no, you don't need to do that I'm fine!" He sighs, shaking his head.

"Ev, it's okay. I have some leftover annual leave anyway. It'll go to waste if I don't use it. And of course I'm going not leaving you for work right now. You're not okay, I'm going to be here for you. I know you need someone, I'm going to be someone," I smile a little, thanking him quietly. I look down at my lap for a while until I feel the bed move a little and Summer's body comes into my peripheral vision. She nudges my hands out of the way with her nose before attempting to curl up in my lap. It's uncomfortable since she's a bigger dog but I don't mine. I start to stroke her soft fur when the memory of her blood and mud soaked body laying across mine the other day fills my head. I flinch a little, sinking deeper into the memory without control.

I remember the cool air around me and the warm blood on my body. The feeling of becoming physically weaker and weaker. The pain and tingles filling my whole body with the warm internal feeling of the alcohol in my blood stream. I can sort of feel my body begin to shake at the thought of these difficult memories however I have no control of it. My chest constructs as the sound of shouting and barking from that night fills my mind. I wish I had died. I wish Summer hadn't saved me. I was so close, I could feel myself falling away... As that man pressed his cold jacket down onto my neck, I felt myself leaving this reality and it was so lovely, so peaceful... I could barely feel the pain. I guess the alcohol caused that... but I was so close, so ready to go...

I snap back into reality to realise I'm having an intense panic attack. Summer is attempting to lick my hand whilst laying in deep pressure therapy position but I pull my body out from under her. Sam has alreadt left the room, I can faintly hear him calling for help. My eyes dart down to my IV and in a burst of anger, I rip out the cannula. Blood begins to drip from my hand but I don't care. I leap out of bed with Summer following me. Without a second thought, I sprint out of the room. I'm dizzy and weak from the panic attack and I can barely breathe however I speed down the hall. An alarm begins to ring and fast footsteps follow mine however within a few minutes, I'm out of the ward doors and sprinting down the coridoors. I hear a back from behind me and as pure adrenaline fuels me, the footsteps behind me begin to sound further and further away. I turn another coridoor and quickly run through a door that has a sign saying it leads to the stairs. I quickly close it behind me and after a few seconds, the footsteps speed past it. When I look down at the floor whilst gasping for breath, I see Summer trying to nudge my leg with her face. She's whining however I don't have time to waste. Instead, I mutter at her to go away before continuing to race down the stairs. When I emerge, I'm in the basement car park. With a grunt of anger, I rush across it until I reach the slope that's supposed to be there for the cars to go up and down the different stories of the car park. I race up to the ground floor where I keep running towards the exit. A car beeps as I speed infront of it however I ignore it. After a minute, I emerge into the Broad daylight with my dog beside me. I yell at her to stay however she doesn't listen, following me as I run out towards the main road. People walking and driving by stare at me like I'm insane. I guess it does look pretty weird seeing a young woman with a bandaged body and bleeding hand sprinting down the road in a hospital gown but fuck it. Fuck them. I run and run, the adrenaline beginning to wear off. My throat is cold and sore and I'm choking and coughing as I'm so out of breath from running but I don't stop until I reach the motorway. As soon as I get onto the edge of the busy road, I slow down and catch my breath as I walk alongside the cars. Summer is panting beside me however she doesn't leave. I sigh, tears filling my eyes. It's only as I catch my breath that I think 'what the fuck am I doing? Where am I going and what do I do now?'