Life Never goes as Planned

Am I the Cause?

I stood there as my children had their heads on their father's chest. Was I to blame for all this? Maybe if I hadn't been such a horrible woman and made Killian suffer he might not be in this situation. Liam gets up and walks over to me. "How come you never told Leía or me?" I sigh. "I already told you Liam, we didn't want to worry you." He scoffs.

"It's always with secrets with you isn't it?" "Liam..." He chuckles. "No wonder dad cheated on you when we were kids." I gasp That was like a knife to my heart. "Liam!" I over hear some scream his name. I turn around and it was Damon. "You do not talk to your mother like that." I stood there and I was completely destroyed. Liam had a point I was the one who is bringing my family pain.

Damon walks up to me and gives me a soft smile. "You ok?" I stayed quiet. "What the hell Liam, you can't say that to mom, she may not be perfect but she's perfect to us so shut the hell up." I gasp. I never knew Leía was able to talk like that. "Leía sweetie it's ok." Damon comes and hugs me.

"Wait how did you know I was here?" "I had gone to Lacy's house to visit her and that's when the twins called her and I rushed over here." I nod. "Leía and Liam could you two wait outside?" They both nod. "Damon can you give me a minute please." He nods. I walk up to Killian and I kiss his forehead. Tears were rolling down my cheek.

My heart was breaking knowing Killian is practically in a life and death situation and it's all because of me. Maybe that's what he needs, for me to be far away from him. I think I'm the one who's bringing all this bad luck and bad vibe to him. Ever since we met me he's been suffering. He should have stayed with Regina and not with me.

I grabbed his hand and I kissed it. Even though this is a tough decision I will have to say goodbye to him. Maybe having Leía and Liam at his side he will get better. I turned his hand around I see the name "Baby Evan" written on the palm of his hand.

I caressed my belly. Our baby's name will be Evan. I caressed his hand one last time and sighed. I walked out and Damon gave me a concerned look. "I'm leaving Damon." He gasps. "What?" I sigh. "The twins are good without me, Rhea will be better off with Ben and Lacy." Damon gasps.

"Emma, Killian needs you, you can't leave just like that." I scoff. "Yes I Can." I start to make my way towards the end of the hallway. "Emma!" I hear Damon scream to me. That's when I see my mother and father in law. My mother in law then slaps me. I gasp. What the hell? "Why didn't you tell me that my son is dying from cancer?" I gasp.

"I thought we were a family Emma." That's when Leía and Liam run towards them and they hug them. "I umm, I'm sorry but how..." "Emma I'm very disappointed in you." I sigh. "We didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't suffer." My mother in law scoffs. "You were being selfish Emma." I sigh. "No it wasn't that.." I walk up to her and she pushes me away.

"I think it's best you leave, we will be taking care of our son." Damon gasps and my mother in law scoffs. "So what my son is dying and you have another man at your side." I gasp. "No..." "Man we were so blind with you Emma, you fooled us, we loved you so much, we took you in as family yet you treat us like dirt." My heart continued to break. "Now I know why my poor son cheated on you when you pregnant with Rhea." I gasp. "Mrs Jones..." Damon says and she puts her hand up.

"You can have her Damon, she's nothing to us, just know that the baby that's inside of her is my grandchild, or is it Emma?" I scoff. "Of course it's Killian's." She scoffs and walks away. I couldn't bear all this pain, I deserved it. She then turns back towards me. "Oh and don't worry about the kids I will be taking care of them..." I nod. Tears began to roll down my eyes. This was by far the worst holiday ever.

I drove back to the house and as soon as I walked inside more tears began to fall down my cheek, we had boxes with all the Christmas decorations scattered throughout the living room. Killian wanted us as a family, to decorate the house and now because of me we won't be able to. I went to my room and packed a suitcase. That's when I felt little kicks in my belly. I think Evan knows what I'm doing and he doesn't like it. No he's acting like Rhea, I will not listen to him this time.

I'm doing this for your own good baby. As far away as we are from here the best chance our family will have of being happy. Maybe your dad will be able to live again, your twin siblings will be going back to school so they don't need us and your sister Rhea, she's happy with Ben, she doesn't need us. And besides grandma and grandpa will be looking out for them.

After I packed my suitcase, I made my way back to the car. I got in and just drove away from the city. It broke my heart to leave my family behind but they are better off without me. I never knew that I was the one that brought pain to them. I would do anything for Killian to be better again and for my kids to have their father back.

7 hours passed and I was in Northern California. I had made it to San Francisco. How I wish I could drink so I can forget but I have the baby so no can do. I had parked close to a cliff where I can see the ocean down below. Ever since I met Killian that day as an intern, I fell for him, he made me realize that Love is the best thing in the entire world. But if I knew that the ultimate price for him to be with me is pain and suffering, then I would have rejected him.

I sat on a bench close to the edge and boy did I have extreme pain in my belly. All this crying wasn't good for the baby, and that's when I gasp. Ever since I left I hadn't felt the baby move. I moved my belly to see if I could feel Evan move but nothing. I cried. I can't even protect my own baby. I am a failure at everything, I was never a good daughter, a good friend, a good wife, or even a good mother.

I deserve all of this. I shouldn't have married Killian, I deserved to be alone and be that heartless boss I was back in the day at FA. That's who the real Emma Swan is and that's who I had planned to be. I leaned back and continued to cry.