Life Never goes as Planned

Happy Holidays?

The holidays are finally here. Which is good because I am exhausted. We gave our first fashion in New York and all that's left is the one in London but that's a little bit after the holidays. That way I can have Lacy back as well. How Ive missed her at work, but I'm happy that she's doing alright. Ben has been such a good son looking out for his momma and baby sister.

So like I was saying super thrilled the holidays are finally here but I can't help but be both excited yet sad. Excited because I'm finally seeing my twins again yet sad because of Killian. His treatments have been hitting him real hard. He's pale, to me he is always handsome but he looks like he's being eaten away and that's killing me.

Today is a day full of emotions. We find out the sex of our baby today, then Killian goes to his radiation or well chemo appointment then we get to go pick up our Twins at the airport. Rhea stayed with Ben so we were able to do all this by ourselves. I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting to be called. I'm fidgeting and Killian noticed.

"Emma everything is going to...." he says then starts to cough. I chuckle. "Excuse me but were you going to say fine?" He stops coughing then nods. "Yeah." I chuckle. "I'm sorry love I'm trying to be positive about all this but I can't help but worry." He nods. "I know love but at least you're not doing this by yourself." I smile and nod.

"God I love you." He smiles. I lean and give him a quick kiss. "Emma Jones," I hear a nurse say. Killian and I get up and made our way inside. They start to do the regular routine and run their tests. I was honestly nervous thinking of what our little bean is going to be. Whatever the baby is I know he or she will be loved.

The doctor finally finishes with the other tests and it's time to do the ultrasound. I laid back and she started. The doctor presses the button and we hear the heartbeat. I grab Killian's hand and he smiles. "Sounds nice and strong." The doctor nods. "It is." I smile. "The baby looks good in size and everything." I smile at Killian.

"I can see the sex of the baby, would you like to know?" The doctor asks. I smile. "Yes," Killian and I say at the same time. The doctor laughs. She presses the button and something appears on the screen. "Hello mommy and daddy, I'm a boy." I instantly began to cry. Killian kisses my hand and cries as well.

"Love we are having a boy." I nod. "Yes we are." The Doctor smiles. "Congrats." Killian and I both nod. She then wipes the gel from off my belly then prints out two pictures. We then head on out to the other side of the hospital. Killian checks in and we sit back down in the waiting area.

Killian smiles as he's staring at the ultrasound picture. "Our little boy, we are having a little boy." He then sighs. I caress his back. "Hey let's enjoy the excitement love, ok?" He sighs and nods. "I'll try." I smile. He then caresses my belly. "We should start thinking of names." I smile. "Yes we should." He smiles and I couldn't help but smile.

"Killian Jones," we over hear the nurse say. "I'll come later to take you to him," the nurse says to me and I nod. We should be on our way home picking out names but no instead we are here. That's when my phone goes off. It's my father in law. Oh God. No I can't talk to him, he mustn't know about Killian having cancer.

I let it go to voicemail and I start to get nervous. That's when my phone goes off again, I look at the screen and it's Lacy. I answer.

"Hey Emma, how'd it go?"

"Good."

"What are you having?"

"A boy."

"I knew it."

I smile. "Yeah."

"What's wrong Emma?" I sigh.

"Nothing." She scoffs.