Secrets, Deals and Lies

Chapter 7 - Never have regrets

I run the hot water and listen to it gush into the bath tub filling it inch by inch. I soon turn on the cold water as well as adding some bubbles just for the fun of it before walking off to look at myself in the mirror.

I frown at my reflection; I’m now pale and skinny; my cheekbones sticking out, circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, and my lips a slight pink instead of the normal reddish, my own reflection reminded me of a ghost. Appalled, I walk away and turn off the water as it reaches past half way, I check the warmness before stripping off and sliding into the tub carefully.

I sink down further and further until it reaches just over my shoulders, the warmness devouring my body. I close my eyes and let my body sink down even further until it reaches my chin, I feel my body finally begin to relax, my hair floating all around me, the bubbles hiding my small, bony body.

There was a knocking at the door ‘Remy?!’ I hear someone shout waking me up from thoughts and my dream.

By now the water is cold and it crawls into my bones.

‘Remy?’ they say again. I open my eyes and shiver, this time it was the cold water that devoured my body. I get up shivering and grab the towel on the rack just as the door opens, the bottom of the towel soaking up a bit of the water and clinging onto my legs.

‘Get out!’ I shriek trying my best to clutch the towel against my chest with my shaking hands, my back still uncovered. Billy’s head pops out from behind the door, ‘Are you okay? You’ve been in there for ages,’ he pulls himself from behind the door showing his full body now. He assesses me and notices my shivering as well as my half uncovered body behind.

‘You look really pale Remy,’ he says brow furrowed and looking very concerned. Like you care, I wanted to say, but I bit back my tongue instead; the quieter I stay the faster he’ll get out and leave me alone. ‘How long have you been in there?’

I stand there shaking badly with my jaw clamped shut; I was so cold I couldn’t even talk. ‘C’mon,’ he says making his way toward me, I don’t move and just eye him off, willing him to leave.

The cold water soon became freezing and it crawled up my calf and through to my body. I hug the towel tightly against my chest with one arm while the other was searching for the other end of the towel, where was it? I started to panic and felt goose-bumps form on my arms as the hairs were already standing up from the cold water.

I watched as Billy came closer and was soon standing right in front of me, he puts his arms around me slowly and carefully without touching any part of my body, I was too cold to think or react to what he was doing and before I knew it he finds the other end of the towel and puts it into my shaking hand. I wrap the towel around me properly and Billy helps me out of the bath tub slow and carefully. ‘Thanks,’ I finally mutter pushing back the wet hair on my shoulders and behind my back. He nods and we stand there staring at each other.

My shaking still wouldn’t stop yet as I only had the towel on. ‘You’re really pale you know?’ he says softly, assessing me once more. ‘Yeah, I know. I haven’t been feeling well ever since…’ my voice trails off and tears pricked my eyes. ‘Shhh, I know. I know,’ he soothes closing in the gap between us. Cold and grief-stricken, I walk into Billy’s warm body as he hesitantly wraps his arms around me for comfort and warmth soon after. I started to weep still clutching onto my towel and he tightens his grip around me. ‘It’s okay,’ he whispers as I dig my face into his chest. ‘I don’t know what to do anymore, Billy,’ I tremor gasping for air.

Guess I still wasn’t over crying for Jack.

I finally pull myself away from him and we stand there watching each other once again maybe for a bit too long.