Secrets, Deals and Lies

Chapter 4 - Love and Lust

‘Goodbye Jack,’ I said out loud. I’ll miss you. Before I knew it I was crying again as my body began to shake with my soft whimpers.

‘Remy?’ a head pops up from nowhere: Billy.

He sees me crying and stands in front of me, ‘you alright?’ he asks worry and sadness in his voice. I don’t answer. ‘What’s wrong?’ he kneels down in front of me and tries to look at me but I put my face into my knees which were held up by my arms. I stopped crying but kept my face hidden hoping he would leave me alone.

‘Remy,’ he starts putting a hand on my knee; I finally look up and wipe the tears from my face. ‘I’m sorry what my Dad did.’ He says finally. I choke back another sob and gasp for air before I could finally talk, ‘it-it’s not that,’ I say my voice coming out as a shaky whisper.

I rest my chin on my knees and hold Billy’s gaze, ‘then what is it?’ he asks softening his voice.

I take another deep breath to steady myself, ‘it’s, Jack.’ I look away and into the forest behind him trying to pull my mind back into my body.

‘I want you to take him back to the other side.’ I whisper, ‘and make sure he never comes back to find me.’ A tear drops from my eyes but it didn’t feel like I was crying. I felt no control over my body and all I could do was stand there and feel tears roll down my cheeks.

Billy thinks this over for a bit as he watches my tears; he rubs a couple away before giving me a handkerchief. ‘You sure you want to do this?’ he asks sitting against the wall beside me.

I look deep into the forest in front of me, Should I run? I wondered, but could I really run away forever? Is that the life I wanted for myself – to be afraid and alert for every little thing that I would never let myself rest?

‘Yeah. I do want you to do this. I love him, but it’s the only way.’ Finally I looked at Billy and catch him cringing at the last sentence, he looks at me too and we sit there in silence.

‘Alright,’ he says decisively, ‘when do you want it to be done?’ he asks skimming his eyes along the forest and avoiding my gaze. I thought about it for a while, ‘three – maybe four days, that’s all I’m asking.’ I hear myself say before getting up and looking down on Billy. He gets up too, ‘okay.’

I go back to the house in search for Jack but found him and Nick talking in the kitchen. It interested me that Jack could actually talk to my father, when I could barely talk to him myself.

I wanted to hear what they were saying and even though I’ve been caught eavesdropping already I didn’t really think about it. I crept in close.

‘So you like my daughter?’ Nick was asking. ‘Uhh yeah, I do. I love her,’ Jack says going to the fridge to get a drink – the fridge opens and closes.  ‘Mmm. Done anything with my daughter I should know about?’ Nick asks and there was a silence as nick was probably searching Jack’s face. Jack hesitates, ‘No sir.’ He says honestly.

From where I was I tried to lean in closer to try to see anything but I couldn’t otherwise I’d be caught.

‘Good. Don’t go playing around with my daughter, if I find out, you better start runnin’ if you know what’s good for you.’ Nick replies crudely. I could hear Jack shuffling around in his spot uncomfortably and I strained to hear what else they had to say. ‘I won’t, I promise.’

This time Nick hesitated before answering, ‘Good, she’s a beautiful girl you know. Just like her mother.’ He says partly to Jack and partly to himself. ‘Take care of her; don’t let her down like I have.’ With that Nick left with a cup of coffee in his hand and Jack staring after him.