Kuch to hai Darmiyan -REPRISE

Chapter 83

Ananya rolled over the bed , trying to get some sleep.It's not a big deal.She is used to sleep alone . Never ever in her life she has shared her room with anyone. It was  one of the reason of her nervousness .She thought that in Mumbai,She had to share her room with him that would be awkward .Then why there is little pang of pain in her heart at his refusal.

Because you are preparing for this.You are ready to share your personal space with him .you are looking forward for the day when this awkwardness will disappear.

Her mind remind herself.Yes,She is ready for it .Every newly married  couple goes through this phase of life .She wants to experience this journey.There is a vague picture in her mind,where she is lying on her stomach on the bed , reading something.He would enter in the room and would lie near her , casually talking about anything .She would keep that book side and slides into his arms .He too would wrap his arms around her without feeling awkward and both of them would drift into sleep. This picture always brought smile on her face . But today it is enhancing the pang of her heart.

She closes her eyes tightly trying to ignore a thought that is constantly nagging in one corner of her mind. The thought that she doesn't want to confront . But she can't ignore it for always. Like now when she found it hard to ignore it .

She wanted to ignore the fact that she was the one who forced him into this marriage and he was reluctant to marry him . What if he has  never felt anything for her in that way? He is too good too reject to her when she had expressed her feelings in front of everyone.What if she had unknowingly pressurize him .If He had agreed to marry her just because he thought that he would never live to be in this relationship.She had promised that she would marry someone else if she found someone .If he didn't want to break her heart and thought that marrying her would be no harm considering the fact his lifespan was not more than few hours.

Now,when by the mercy of the almighty,he has came back from the mouth of death,he is regretting his decision.Lying in the Manav's room ,he is thinking how to tell her that he has no interest in her , that he never wanted to marry her ,that she is very good friend but he doesn't see her as his wife.Or maybe like always he is becoming too noble , is trying to ignore his real feelings and is considering to take this relationship as his responsibility.

What are you thinking? You know him even more than himself. You have felt his love in his behaviour.You have seen him secretly admiring you.Don't allow your insecurity to ruin the best feeling of your life.

She again rolled over the bed, grabbing a pillow, putting it near her chest to stop the Pang and hugging it tightly.She closes her eyes tightly.She will not think anything.

  Human nature is strange . It takes meaning of any event according to his state of mind and then his mind starts giving him all the evidence to believe his analysis.This same thing is happening with her .Her mind starts recalling those days when Dev was cold toward him.

Yes, she has caught him admiring her . But how does this implies that he loves her ? May be it was just a mere infatuation.He is a boy and She is a girl,a beautiful girl. It is not hard to develop some kind of attraction . What if what he felt for her was just some kind stupid hormonal things that has disappeared with time  and she takes it as his love.

Can she handle his denial? Can she accept that she is no one for him? After  allowing herself to  hope,to dream  ,can she accept her crushing dream? Will he ever tell her about his real feelings? Will he comprise with his happiness just because of her stupidity?

No.

She will not allow him to ignore his happiness .If he has no feelings for her then , there is  no meaning of any relationship .She will not forbid him from his happiness.Even if she has to end.....end this ....