Kuch to hai Darmiyan -REPRISE

Chapter 65

Sometimes she thinks that why She fall for Nakabposh and not for Dabbu .Time spent with Nakabposh was negligible in comparison with that of Dabbu.

Because Nakabposh is like dream Man . Because his aura is enough for any girl to be in love with him.

It can be true for someone else but not for her.
She knows that she hadn't fallen for his charm or aura .She has fallen for his soul,soul of her Dabbu.Yet she didn't fall for Dabbu.

Why?

May be because her life experience has taught her that  Loving someone is equivalent for losing someone . Losing Nakabposh was never the choice .She knew that Nakabposh can never be hers.He was someone far away from her reach. So ,She can love him and lose him too.Loosing him still remain painful but pain is something which is too loyal to her to leave.She can live with the pain .

But Losing Dabbu?

He has become a part of her life   .No, He has become her life .He has become basis of her own existence .  The thought of losing him was so terrifying that even her subconscious mind refused to think it . Loving him was dangerous .It was risky and she couldn't take the risk .She could live a life where she didn't love Dabbu but still Dabbu remains the centre of her existence.She could live like that but   How could she live without her life? How could she live without Dabbu.It was unimaginable and she never imagined it. For her,a life without Dabbu is impossible.There would be no life if Dabbu is not in it .She just couldn't live.

But she lived .She lived a life without Dabbu.But Was she living the life? No.

Yes ,She was alive.Yes ,She was breathing, talking, eating and moving .She was doing everything except living .She couldn't leave.Life without Dabbu is not worth living .

The facade that she was carrying with herself has  died today .The barrier that was stopping her agony broked today.

Three years ,

Three years.

She felt the emptiness of her life .She felt the unbearable void. She felt his absence .She was lying to everyone that she is fine .She was lying to herself that she is fine .For three years She was clinging with  his memories like a drowning man clings with only available log to save his life . Countless time she kept revisiting their moments in her mind ignoring the slight pang on her heart that kept telling her that there would be no such moments anymore..

For three years ,She kept imagining her impossible life with him ignoring that it would never be possible.

For three years ,She kept talking with his photo assuming his presence ignoring the fact that he will never reply back।

For three year,She kept ignoring the memory when he left her .She kept ignoring the memory when she heard the blast and when she felt the scrambling of  world.For three years ,She kept ignoring the urge to cry for her fate .She kept ignoring the urge to cry for his fate,to cry for their fate.

But Today, Sitting under a tree in  the  park that witnessed their innumerable memories ,She allowed herself to feel the horror of that day .She allowed herself to cry. She allowed those unwanted memories to travel in her mind. She allowed herself to leave the reality which was worst than any nightmare. 

So,Sitting under the tree,their tree ,She is trembling and sobbing while tears continues to fall on her cheeks . She is feeling tired .She is exhausted from all those trauma and pain that she has bear in her life. She is drowning in the world of despair and she needed something,someone to hold her.

She suddenly felt a warm hand on her shoulder .She doesn't have courage to look back but still she did.She gingerly turns her head to look at the intruder.