❦𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐯𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫❦【 DreamSMP // Technoblade 】

❦One Hundred Thirteen❦

"I am too." That night two Gods cried, gripping onto each other, laying in bed full of papers containing memories cut off too soon. Trying to cling onto missing pieces of our broken masterpiece long gone. We were left to fill into the gaps with our imagination now. We had both forgotten what it originally looked like when we first began.

In between tears and comfort, love and relief, there were stories and explanations. Past lives and meetings I would never remember that I now contained the knowledge of. It felt stupid to be grateful for the information I know I have every right to, but yet I was happy to be told all the same. "Sometimes I still think you're still dead, that you never reincarnated." He choked on the words, hands bunching up the fabric of my tear stained shirt. His shirt was in similar condition so its not like I could be upset over it. I wouldnt be able to be upset at Technoblade properly either way.

"I think that too sometimes." I replied.

We had been treated like rabid animals all our lives I had realized that night. Treated like something dangerous about to snap. People thought we were something wild. Untamable and bloodthirsty. I know Technoblade felt like something to use, a weapon, the blade. Something for people to grab onto and hold close, only to discard when he isnt needed anymore. Technoblade never trusted easy. And he couldnt help but wonder why Phil and I had stuck around so long. I just knew it. From the glares he sent Eret, showing his love for me and jealousy that the brunet was even allowed to look in my direction. But at the same time he'd push me away. Assuming I'd never come back time and time again.

I spoke into the darkness of the room we were in. We must have been laying down for hours now. Wrapped up in each other and nothing but that, hushed whispers left to dangle in the air between us. "I love you, you know. I want to stay with you forever until we can't anymore- until we die."

Technoblade looked up at me at that, and I knew he was expecting to look into my eyes and immediately tell I had lied through my teeth. Yet he wouldn't find anything un-genuine in my stare. "But we won't be able to die." He questioned quietly. As if he didn't already know what I was about to say in response.

"Exactly."

I looked at Technoblade like he had hung the moon at that moment. Maybe he had.

He looked back at me like he'd tear it back down if I so much as uttered the words.

He had changed over his time in prison, which was blatantly clear in more ways than one. The obvious ones are physical. He had new scars I had already been mindlessly tracing. They were scattered on his forearms, self-defense wounds. Next, his beard. He never liked having much facial hair, but going without being able to shave for a few months doesn't give you much of a choice. It was rough against my face as I pressed against him. We were a tangle of arms and legs, trying to achieve so many points of contact that we might as well be one at that point.

I suppose we were already one far before this.

The other change was mental. I could tell he had missed Phil and me so much that it was painful. His grip on my waist that kept me held close was tight as if Id disappear.

I didnt know what to say to comfort him any further. Maybe I shouldn't speak at all. But I've never been one to follow rules or social norms I suppose. "Are you still awake, Tech?" I asked quietly. The room was dark and my eyes had been closed. Silently enjoying the moment and the synced breaths we had been sharing.

I heard a hum in response, a low rumble from in front of me.

"I want you." In what context did I mean that? I wasn't quite sure. All I know is that it was true. I wanted Technoblade in every way I could have him. I wanted to be at his side through thick and thin, wars and peace. I wanted to wake up each morning in his arms and laugh with him and Phil each afternoon.