❦𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐯𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫❦【 DreamSMP // Technoblade 】

❦Twenty Three❦

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"I miss you."
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I picked up the feather and ink. Nothing like fixing your woes with angered writing I guess.

Dear Tech, or Technoblade, Blood God, whatever your egotistical self prefers.

I suppose it isn't beneficial to start off my letter to you with insults, but quite frankly I've written this too many times over to care. Anyways, I can't give myself a proper reason to why I'm writing this. You'd probably tell me to go to the library and think on it, but you aren't here so screw that. I know there's a chance you won't ever read this, a chance I may not see you again. And I'm not certain why but, that upsets me. I guess I'd say I miss you. So here I am writing a idiotic and frankly utterly useless letter to an anarchist pig.

I want to say I've figured out your riddle, life question, whatever you want to call it. For the life of me I can't remember how you exactly worded it, but it was something along the lines of I'm supposed to figure out why I enjoy this. Anarchy with you that is, these dumb quests and jobs. I don't know if you were expecting some philosophical answer, but I'm telling you right now you're not getting one. I mean for all I know, you already know what my answer is and when you read this you'll laugh and say something like "finally you've figured it out." If that's the case I will beat you. I'll rip out your braid I swear to the gods if you sent me away from you to figure out something you already knew.

My answer is: I enjoy it.

It's as simple as that.

You sent me on a quest to figure out why I enjoy these things. But that's the answer itself. I just do. It brings me happiness, joy, a rush, something that can't be beat. I'm truly addicted.

I know that's probably sadistic or whatever you'd call it but I don't care. I've lost my ability to do so. My trash can is full of crumbled papers covered in ink. I no longer care.

I suppose I figured this out when doing a job of my own. After I left the Arctic; keep in mind I was stuck for months in the snow. I found a man named Eret. He saved me in a sense and we have become great friends. I apparently stumbled into this land called the DreamSMP. It's quite ironic since it's actually the same Dream you beat all that time ago. He runs the land here. Though it isn't a government, more of the one with the most power is just more so in charge. Anybody can overthrow him if they work hard enough to do so. I mean I could but I have no want to do it.

Your twin brother and little brothers actually are here additionally. It was honestly quite confusing. So many people from our pasts are here. Did you know your twin brother has a son now? He's some kind of fox hybrid. Named Fundy actually. You'll have to tell Phil he's a grandfather.

Uncle Tech.

Gods I'll make fun of you for that.

I keep getting off track but did you expect anything else from your predecessor? (I hope I spelled that right you know I'm horrible at writing.) Well they all live here under Dream and his friends. They call themselves the Dream Team. Apparently this system was not fit to their tyrannical needs so they declared independence. With Wilbur as the president and Tommy as Vice, Tubbo is the secretary or treasurer, I honestly can't bother to remember. Eret my new friend whom I now live with joined them.

I did so as well. But of course with the intention of destroying the place from the inside out. You taught me well. Though quickly I experienced guilt for the first time in years. I suppose betraying Eret was too much even for me mentally. Luckily it turns out he was a traitor working for Dream. Dream didn't like their declaration calling for independence, so he recruited Eret and planned on waging war. Me and Eret were of course ecstatic that we could work together.

We went to Dream and of course due to his ego being almost as large as yours, he challenged me to a fight. Something about his honor and reputation. Fighting your right hand woman and winning would get some of it back apparently. Anyway I beat him to the ground, but I'm not one to lie so in all honesty he also beat me. We tied. Really a shame actually. Though to be fair I was still weak from months in the Arctic so you can't blame me got it? I'm back to good condition after training I swear!

I've been writing for far too long. My hand is beginning to cramp.

So since I tied with Dream I was able to momentarily join them. Of course we beat Wilbur and his friends. They named their impromptu country L'manburg by the way. I mean quite a stupid name. We beat them fair and square, even planted a trap we finalized our victory with. I killed your adopted brother by the way oops. No hard feelings right? Phil might be upset. I don't know. Wilbur and Tommy also both died by Dream I think? I'm not certain. I mean it's their fault for trusting me, I was quite open with my friendship towards you. Plus I still had my scythe on me at all times so I mean it should have been obvious what my identity is.

Tommy ended up challenging Dream to one last duel. Once again died. I mean, how stupid are your brothers? I swear you and Phil are the only good ones in that bloodline. So of course I assumed I had destroyed this government. Yay me right? Wrong. Apparently your stupid little brother Tommy has these discs. They have absolutely no value to them but apparently he likes them so much others want them. Like bargaining chips if that makes sense. Eret had to explain it to me. It took awhile. So Tommy offers Dream these discs.

And he accepts?? I was quite literally betrayed. I had honestly grown to trust Dream too. I'm really foolish sometimes apparently. All my work was gone to waste. Though government never lasts long, always destroys itself. So I'm not worried.

Eret ended up becoming King of the SMP as part of his deal. Even though I don't support monarchy, the King role here isn't traditional. It more just, the King is neutral so nobody wishes to kill the King. More like a role of safety not power. So now I live in a castle with him.

Last thing: BBH is here. I don't wish to go into it even on paper.

Love, Torva Messor.

Ps: I suppose I do miss you. I hope one day I'll be able to give this to you. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I never saw you again.

Emotions suck.

I sighed and waited for the ink to all dry. It felt strangely comforting having finishing the writing. I guess I wrote it more for myself than him at the end of the day. Quickly I saw the ink soak into the paper and dry. I folded it, it was definitely large so I folded it three times over. Followed by slipping it into an envelope.

The creases now scattered in the paper irreversible.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to give it to him. Watch his face as he read it. Maybe he'd like it. I sure hoped he did.

The words kept echoing in my head. The last words he spoke to me. That I can return to his arms. I just, I hated feeling these emotions.

I sure hope I'll be able to see him.

I left the letter on my desk and walked out of the room.

It's time for a new chapter, to turn a new page. To find out a new way to get what I want.

Because I always get what I want.