❦𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐯𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫❦【 DreamSMP // Technoblade 】

❦Ninety Three❦

[TW: wrist cutting, blood, character death, general death, out of body experience, gore.]

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". . ."
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The words around me blended together as I stood in front of the pyramid, and that weight on my shoulders became a bit too heavy. When I woke up the next day after retrieving XD I was immediately met with incessant chatter flooding my ears, I tried to tune it out to no avail.

Everyone seemed to be arguing or having a far-too-loud discussion. Believe me, nobody wants to be caught in an altercation between three Gods and a strangely powerful Demi-God.

I didn't acknowledge what I was doing until my communicator was being held to my ear after dialing a familiar name, Eret now speaking from the other end. "Dar-" he corrected himself. "Torva, what's happening?"

I sighed, leaning against the sandstone, barely hearing the words Eret spoke above the chatter. XD was simply standing nearby berating everyone while they did the work for a ceremony I knew next to nothing about. "Yeah, sorry, I shouldn't have called-"

"What do you need? What's your coords, I'll be right there." I could already hear him moving, I couldn't help but laugh under my breath.

"Amare, you're fine. I'm just-" I inhaled deeply, the air was stagnant and hot. "They're going to attempt to make me immortal today, and, it's just so much. It's so much. Everything is so much." I took a moment, hearing silence. "I miss you, not as a partner but as just a person, I love you and I know it isn't romantic but it's still there-"

He hushed me almost immediately, voice quieting. "I love you too, we should hang out soon, okay? Catch up? After all of this is over, whether you become immortal or not, you're coming to this castle and we're having a picnic or something. I'll make you some new outfits and everything." I could hear his smile, and all of the talking faded away, Eret's voice replacing every last word.

"Deal, you're so fucking on." I grinned, and I could hear him laugh. "I'm kind of scared."

"For becoming immortal?" Eret questioned, I shook my head no before remembering he can't see me.

"No, that it won't work, that everyone will be let down. What if, it just doesn't happen? What if you all have to watch me die one day." I looked up, the skies cloudless and full of crows. "I feel like everyone is relying on this ceremony for happiness but me."

"You didn't tell me you all were doing this today." Eret sounded almost hurt, but I couldn't blame him.

"Yeah well, I didn't really know this was going to happen until very recently." I curled in a bit on myself, it seems my confidence had been slowly chipped away recently. It hurt more than I appreciated. Going from this overly confident and powerful woman to whatever this is. "It's like all of the power I had has been taken out of my hands. Everyone is doing this whole-" I waved my hand gesturing to everything around me, knowing Eret couldn't see me. "This whole thing for me, and I have no control right now."

"You'll be in full control after it's over. I can say with almost full certainty that you'll walk out of this whatever you want to be, you're Torva after all." He laughed, a sound that I didn't hear enough of these days. "You're the person so many envy for a reason, you know. Take control of that like you used to."

"I just." I sighed, sliding down the wall behind me so I was sat on the ground, the sandstone far from comfortable under me. "I feel like parts of me are gone, and the rest I have left I don't even know about."

He let out a slow breath, and I could hear clinking on the other end of the communicator. He was making tea presumably, that or getting a glass of wine, I wouldn't call him out on it if he was. I wasn't there anymore so I wouldn't be surprised if he stocked the formerly empty wine cabinet. "You're all there, darling. You just forget parts of yourself, and get rid of the pieces you've outgrown. It's up to you to harness what you have, I can't help with that." There was comfortable silence for only a few seconds. "You're an enigma in the best way possible, utterly fascinating. It's been an honor to know you in this stage of your life, I can brag to hundreds later in life about knowing you now."