❦𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐯𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫❦【 DreamSMP // Technoblade 】

❦One Hundred Three❦

[I've been on hiatus due to finals but now I'm back! Woo!]

[Also this might be one of my favorite chapters that I've ever written (: ]

[TW: character death, graphic descriptions in general...?, self hatred/degradation, sexual actions.]

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"Momentary relief is worth the aftershock of pain clawing at my skull for purchase."
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"Sure, Toms. Consider me in." I laughed a bit, smiling at my communicator. Hearing my bedroom door upstairs open. Letting me know Tech was waiting. "Mainly for supervision though. I don't want anyone dying."

I heard the blond cheering, rushed promises of 'responsibility' leave his mouth before the line went dead. He never changes. Or at least he acts like he doesn't.

I left my communicator on the kitchen counter, walking upstairs and already taking off my own cloak and earrings. By the time I entered my room Tech was already folding his shirt and leaving it on the dresser.

I couldn't help but laugh, just leaving my cloak on the floor and tossing my earrings on my bedside table. "Since when have you folded your clothes in situations like this?" I raised an eyebrow, voice full of humor. "You usually toss them on the floor."

Not shockingly, this wasn't the first time we've been in this situation. Makeup sex had apparently become our forte somewhere along the line in our friendship, or whatever you'd call us. That or what Phil deemed makeup violence, the blond just tosses us our swords sends us outside and waits for us to come back bloodied and bruised.

The only time Tech and I can ever seem to properly find middle ground is when our emotions are at an all time high apparently. At least middle ground when it comes to whatever the fuck Tech and Phil have been keeping from me all my life.

Sex or combat apparently brings us back to ground zero, the disagreements glossed over and shoved under the rug until it happens all over again and the wound becomes fresh once more.

"Eh." He shrugged, beginning to take off his rings and leave them on the bedside table next to my earrings. Leaning down for a moment and kissing my cheek. "Dunno, felt better to fold it." He then seemingly thought for a moment before leaning down again and kissing the corner of my mouth.

"Strange." I joked, the out of character action throwing me for a loop for a moment.

"I'm sorry." He began, and I knew he would repeat it probably a hundred more times in the next hour alone. "I really am. I wish I could fix everything right now. Just-" He began to sound kind of frustrated, something bubbling over. "Let me just fuck you and forget all of this."

I was tired of hearing it. Tired of hearing earnest apologies only for them to go uncared for with no actions following them. Promises sealed with a kiss only for the same promise to be repeated over and over due to failure to enact. "I should have known better than to love a God." Is all I said in response, and he almost had the gall to look remorseful.

"I wish you didn't." He mumbled, running his hands down my waist. "I think you'd be happier if you didn't."

Even though I'm the one that started those thoughts in him, even though sometimes I regret the first time I kissed him. Because I know it would lead me here. I hate hearing him say things like that. "Stop that." I looped my arms around his neck. Making him lean down so I could peck his lips.

"What?"

"Saying things like that. I'm- as much as we're a disaster. And believe me, I know we are, I still love you. Don't regret that, please." I watched him smile just a bit, but it was enough. "As much as I might cry and yell- I really am happy with you and Phil out here. Of course I'm pissed and I wish you would choke out whatever the fuck you're hiding. But I'm happy with you."