Heart of a Prime

Chapter 40

Saphira took a bit of time to find her way out onto the top deck of the carrier. She gasped as the wind rushing alongside the ship was very cold and she folded her arms, shivering a little and glancing at the mist when she breathed out, indicating it was very cold. Plus, it was night and there was only the moon shining down upon them. She was glad she had her hair tied up as her hair would be blinding her right now. She tried closing the door behind her as gently as possible, but that was not going to happen. It slammed due to the window and she looked around, she spotted the autobots standing at the end of the ship, they seemed to be talking. She smiled and walked towards them, she doubted they would hear her coming since the wind is so loud.

"Optimus, do you really think that?" Ratchet asked Optimus, Saphira paused a little and listened quietly to them. She knew eavesdropping was a bad thing, but she also would be able to hear some honesty from Optimus. "Are you going to tell her?"

Saphira tilts her head slightly, she was curious by what he meant by that. Optimus exhaled loudly, he was standing with his back towards everyone with his hands resting on his hips as he stared at ahead of them. "Of course I do, Ratchet. I...I care about her a lot...I think I might...well..."

"Don't you think you might confuse her by being reluctant?" Ironhide asked curiously. "I know Saphira is head over heels for you. She cares and loves you a lot, Optimus. Are you seriously going to try and ignore that?"

Wait, what?

Barricade huffed a little, shaking his head. "I think he's just scared of losing her." Optimus turned his head slightly to glare at Barricade. "I don't blame you, Optimus. I wasn't there when Megatron did what he did to Elita..." The commander tensed slightly, disliking that Barricade brought up Elita. "I can see how much it affects you though. I have never had a sparkmate, so I have never known what it is like to lose the one you love. But, I can see it is painful. I would feel the same if Saphira formed that kind of feeling for me."

Optimus looked ahead again and kept speaking to the autobots. "It is not just that. I often feel like it was our fault that has caused her life to spiral so much. If I let us get closer...I fear it will only bring her more danger."

Saphira felt her heart aching at those words. Optimus was scared of losing her and scared of getting closer to her. He was so sweet, she wanted to run up to him and reassure him that he won't lose her. "Would that be not more of a reason to spend time with her?" Ratchet asked in a gentle voice. "Humans live short lives. Saphira isn't going to stay young forever. If you wait and see, she might not wait for you."

Yes I will! I can't imagine not being with Optimus.

"I know..." Optimus bows his head slightly, he was looking down at the ocean now. "I guess you are right, Ratchet. I haven't truly forgiven myself for what happened to Elita. I don't think I ever will. Saphira almost went through something horrible if Bee, Barricade and I didn't save her from Megatron..." He shakes his head slightly. "I will blame myself for failing her."

"Elita would disagree with you, you know that," Ironhide said, walking over to Optimus and placing a hand on his shoulder. "She faced Megatron headon, she knew she could die when she did. It was not your fault, you never failed her. Optimus, there is no shame in getting closer with Saphira. She will embrace you. She has shown she cares about you from the moment we returned from Mission City."

"All the things she has done with you, that emerald field you both visited when you could and from what I hear you enjoy the simple things you do with her," Ratchet added. "She has shown by buying that wildflower clip that she is proud to be with you. She gifted you that emerald so you could remember her eyes. Even Elita didn't do that."