❦𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐯𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫❦【 DreamSMP // Technoblade 】

❦Seventy Six❦

"Just fuck off, Phil."

"You don't mean that."

"I know."

I was so frustrated and it was painful at this point. I couldn't express it, I was just bottling it up with no way to let it out, I wouldn't even know what I could do when it bubbled over. I heard Tech stomping in circles upstairs, harsh rambles and insults being shouted into the air at his chat. If I went upstairs and joined him we would both only get worse.

I screamed, a guttural and wrenching noise from a place in my body I hadn't tapped into in so long. I was so mad and frustrated and honestly any other synonym that could possibly express my pure and utter anger seeping from my body. This is what I fucking get for trusting someone, this is what I get for taking someone under my wing, this is what I get for offering a shoulder to cry on.

Phil walked to my side as the yell faded, my voice crackling out, probably damaged at this point. I could feel him unclasping my armor, letting it fall to the floor. The second my chest plate came off he began slowly rubbing circles into my back, I didn't notice until now that I did that with Ranboo and Toms- Tommy, probably something I picked up from Phil. "Better you let it out now than later, mate. Scream all you want, we're in the Arctic after all." He had a kind smile that for some reason managed to piss me off, why? I have no goddamn clue.

My leggings were unclasped next, and he took my scythe out of my hand, picking up the heavy armor from the ground. I watched him lean the weapon against a wall, putting the armor in a now slowly growing pile Tech had created. I let out a slow breath, I felt lightheaded.

Apparently Phil was able to tell, because he almost immediately led me over to the couch, sitting me down with a concerned expression. "I'm sorry."

I raised an eyebrow, I never understood why people would apologize for things they haven't done.

"You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry anyway."

I decided arguing was futile, probably would mess up the situation more anyway. Phil came back over to the couch this time with a cup in his hand, he handed me the cup of water and I gave him a small smile. He was trying, and I guess that helped a little bit. "Well, I'm going to get started on the dinner- if you or Techno decide you are able to join us, just tell me, mate."

I nodded, taking a few sips of water to show I was at least trying. I wasn't even thirsty, and honestly had completely lost my appetite.

I heard the front door open, almost immediately followed by familiar hands wrapping around me from behind. Brown hair brushed against my cheek, I blindly placed down the water cup on the coffee table. "Can I help you somehow, darling?"

I laughed a bit, of course the first thing they ask is how they can help me. "Not more than you already are, amare."

"Oh stop it you two! You'll make me cry!" Phil had his hands on his hips, glaring at us from the kitchen.

"Alright, Dadza." I had a slight smile on my face as I spoke, glancing to the blond.

"Shut it!"

Eret ran a hand through my hair, I mumbled something I didn't even know. He hummed confused, asking me to repeat what I said. "Im tired."

I heard Phil turn on the oven, I glanced to see that he was making stew. It would take maybe an hour or so, I had some time for a shower or something. I felt Eret press a kiss to the side of my neck before speaking. "You can go take a quick nap, I'll grab you when dinner is done."

I sighed with a small nod, maybe if I rest for a bit I'll have the energy to fight Tech later. I can hear that his pacing had stopped upstairs, I could only assume he was asleep from exhaustion or was angrily mumbling to chat. I headed to my room, deciding I didn't have enough energy to care and find out. When I stepped into my room it was strange, it still didn't feel like my room, and yet I had spent over three months here. It was against my own volition, but being trapped by your own body isn't something you can really consent to anyway.