A few nights passed and trev didn't stop by but he did text me a few times to ask how the kids were. It was so weird. I really did expect for him to be around more than the little amount that he was.
I was making the kids peanut butter and jelly sandwiches though around lunch time, when my phone started ringing and it was trev. I almost didn't answer, but since he hadn't really talked to the kids and they were asking about him I did.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey." He said cutely. God I hated when he talked the way he did. It was the cutest thing in the world.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Nothing. I drank a little too much and I felt the need to call you. I wanted to talk to you and love on you." He said in the same cute tone and I almost laughed on the phone at him but stopped myself.
"You shouldn't be drinking. It's noon." I said.
"I know but I went to the bar last night around 2am, and I ordered what you order-the sex on the beach-I didn't realize how good those were. It was like drinking water. I decided to go home after I had a few and try and make my own and I made them even better. Bailey you have to try it. It's so good. It tastes like candy with a lot of alcohol." He said and I sighed.
"Are you still drinking? If you are please relax." I said.
"I made you a drink. I think you should come over." He said.
"I can't come over-Trevor I'm making our kids lunch. Please stop drinking for today or I'll have someone go over there and check on you." I said.
"I'm fine. I'm just enjoying life baby. I'm so happy. I just miss you a lot. I hope sawyer is treating you good. What did he say?" He asked.
"Say about what?" I asked.
"Does sawyer hate me?" He asked.
"No." I said.
"Do you hate me?" He asked softly and it broke my heart.
"I don't hate you." I said and he was quiet on the phone for a little.
"Do you love me?" He asked and I hesitated.
"We have two kids together. I'll always love you for giving me them." I said.
"I just wish I could give you what you deserve." He said.
"You gave me a lot." I said.
"I didn't give you enough." He said.
"Trev." I sighed.
"You know I'm right." He said.
"Stop." I said.
"No. I love you so much. I know I fucked up. I know I fucked up everything multiple times and that this time I might not be able to make things right, I know that I didnt give you enough. You deserve the world and I wasn't giving you that." He said.
"Trev, it's fine." I said.
"Do you think we'll get back together?" He asked.
"I don't know. I still need time." I said.
"Can I come over?" He asked.
"No. You're drunk." I said.
"I'm not that drunk." He chuckled.
"Trevor." I warned.
"Please. I promise you I'm fine." He said.
"You're not fine." I said.
"I know but you are." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"You're fine." He said. He meant in an attractive way. He was so dumb.
"Jesus Christ." I said and he chuckled.
"I'm coming over. I have to talk to you. It's about sawyer." He said.
"You aren't coming here drunk-"
"I'll walk." He said and I rubbed my temples.
"I want to see the kids too. I miss my little nuggets." He said and I chuckled. He was such an idiot when he was drunk.
"Come over. But you have an hour. That's it." I said.
"Okay." He said.
"And do not drive here. Do you understand me?" I asked.
"I'm a 5 minute walk away from you. I'll just walk since you'll yell at me if I drive." He said.
"Okay." I said and he hung up without saying anything more.
"Okay-Dak! Kenz! Lunch is done and daddy is coming over for a little." I said and they jumped up and down excitedly as I handed them their sandwiches and bit into one I made for myself. I was kind of upset he was drinking, but it was also Trevor.
* * *
When he got to my house, he walked right in and the kids ran straight to him. He smiled widely and picked them up before kissing their cheeks and he put them down slowly. He was clearly fucked up.
"We missed you!" Kenz said.
"I missed you too." He said.
"Mommy? Can we go upstairs and play with cooper?" Kenz asked and I nodded.
"Of course." I said and dak and her both ran upstairs and trev looked over at me.
"I brought you a drink I made." He said and he walked to me and handed me a water bottle with an orangish pink liquid inside.
"Trevor. I am not drinking a sex on the beach that you made yourself at noon. It's not happening." I said.
"Or you could and tell me if it's good. I thought it was amazing. It seriously takes like juice." He said with a drunk smile.
"Every type of alcohol tastes like juice to you because you were an alcoholic and hopefully not going back to it." I said and he hook his head and pressed the bottle against my lips and I went to stop but he tilted it back against my lips.
"Jesus Christ Trevor." I said after being forced to drink it, unless I spit it out all over myself.
"Is it good?" He asked with a smile.
"It's not horrible. I was expecting you to overdo it with the vodka in it." I said.
"No. I'm telling you this-is amazing." He said and I rubbed my temples.
"Trev, you broke sobriety." I said.
"I broke alcohol sobriety. I didn't do anything else. This is how you know I'm better. Im drunk and I'm happy. When I used to get drunk I'd want coke but I don't want it and I'm completely fine, see? Im just feeling good." He smiled. He was so cute it hurt. I wish he was the way he was on our wedding night.
"I've been so worried about you trev." I said softly and cupped his cheek and he nodded.
"I've been worried about you too. How's sawyer treating you? I know you've been happy." He smiled and I smiled weakly and nodded. I wanted to cry. He was so happy and excited to talk to me and I was just trying to somehow ask for help or ask for him back without seeming weak. He was too drunk to even realize.
"He's been good. I have been happy." I said and he smiled.
"Good. I need you to be happy." He said and I nodded. He sat up more next to me and he yawned.
"Have you slept?" I asked and he took a drink from the water bottle and I grabbed it from him slowly and pulled it away.
"We're done drinking that, okay? You need to get off your buzz and lay down." I said.
"Bails I'm fine. I'm completely fine." He said.
"No you're not. You're sleeping in the guest room until you're sober again. You're way too drunk." I said and he shook his head.
"Let me make dinner." He said.
"If you're sober for dinner then sure, make dinner-you need to sleep. I know you haven't." I said and he went to say something and I covered his mouth.
"Trevor. Sleep." I warned and he looked at me with a cocked eyebrow and huge stupid smile on his face.
"Okay." He nodded and I put the bottle down on the coffee table and he got up and stumbled a little and I helped him to the guest room. He took his shirt off and his abs made me weak but I acted like it was nothing. His arms too. Good god. I missed them.
"Okay." He said as he crawled in the bed and I helped him get a good pillow and pull the covers up.
"I'll get you water." I said and he nodded. I went out in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle and by the time I went back to him, he was completely sound asleep. I sighed and put the water on the nightstand, and I walked back out into the living room. He wasn't going to leave for hours and I was happy he finally was sleeping, I just didn't want to have him there all night.