Samara stared at the ceiling in a deep thought. She didn't know why since the war had happened, she was feeling absolutely dull.
All the soldiers were home, whether alive or dead. But the war was over. The Victory was achieved. Then, where was the happiness lost.
Why was she feeling bored and blank? Maybe, it was because of that latest murder. Her heart would start crawling to her mouth every time, she would think about it. But then, that tragedy was the reason why she hadn't been able to meet Nathaniel regularly.
Earlier, she would go out to the woods in the evening with the excuse of bringing wooden sticks so she could meet him secretly. She wondered if he too missed her like she did.
She bit her lip thinking how she was close to get a kiss from him. It would have been so wonderful, so dreamy but unfortunately, it was left as a dream because of her destined tormentor.
Somehow, she wasn't angry at Rodwin for that moment. He was actually right in his own way. She knew that her parents liked Nathaniel. Who wouldn't want their daughter to get married in a family of higher status? But getting caught in such intimate positions with a man before marriage, was truly embarrassing.
Maybe, she was being too much sick in love. She needed to be pure for her purity of heart. Girls had always been taught to save themselves for their future husbands.
Even if she would get Nathaniel as her life partner, she still won't like to degrade her honour by crossing the limits.
No matter how less they were meeting, she won't cross her boundaries the next time. If it would have been some other men instead of Rodwin who saw them, maybe she would have already gotten humiliated in the society. She couldn't put her future and her family's reputation at stake, again. She needed to be a good girl. But for that she needed to ask for forgiveness.
She decided immediately to visit the seer, the next day.
Just as she was about to close her eyes and turn on her side, a loud distant howl echoed around her that made her goosebumps risen in sudden terror.
Her eyes widened while mouth opened in shock as she heard another howl coming distantly from her bedroom window. She slowly turned her head and stared at the dark sky outside. The moon wasn't visible because of the continuous rain pouring from last two hours.
She waited to hear more howls but it all remained silent then. She breathed in terror and slowly got up from her bed. Hanging her legs, she put her bare feet on the cold concrete floor and flinched when it felt colder than she had assumed. She wore her slippers and quietly stepped towards the window while making sure to look from behind her white lacy curtains.
She gasped when she saw the same dead body lying near the well just like that morning. Her breaths quickened as she tried hard to breathe properly.
She squeezed her eyes shut and calmed her heart by patting her chest slightly. Opening her eyes slowly, she looked again at the same place.
A shiver crawled down her spine when she saw the white-bricked path clean around the well. She gulped and looked around to notice that the area was calm and clean. No one was awake and no light of candle, was visible from any window.
It didn't feel right that she was the only one to hear that howl. She wished that someone else would have heard it too. It would give her confidence to share it with her family. Her heart was still beating erratically because of the dangerous sound that animal had made.
She just knew that it was that animal only who had killed the villager.
It was thunderous, blood-curdling howl that she had estimated, she could die from terror if she would hear it from close.
Wiping her face with her knuckles, she looked at the sky and was then able to see the half-moon. The weather had turned quite cold making it dramatically horrifying for her.
She gulped and felt her throat getting dried. Picking her woollen shawl from the chair, she straightened her night gown and covered herself with the shawl. Her hair weren't tied and she didn't care. She just needed water, first.
Never had she felt the need to keep a jug of water in her room before. But then, she felt as if she should start keeping it for emergency as getting down from her room without a candle was quite scary.
There was no light on the wooden stairs and she could only see the faint outlines of the objects because of the one candle that her mother would always place on the table in the drawing room, lit every night.
The light started getting brighter as she reached the drawing room and turned towards the kitchen. Not making any noise, she removed the lid of the pitcher and filled a glass full of water.
She drank the water greedily which was colder than it should. But she didn't care. She just needed to get her throat wet so she could at least be able to speak the next day.
Putting the glass on the shelf while wiping her mouth, she turned and almost screamed when she saw her brother standing there with sweat glistening his face. She gasped and breathed harshly while palming her heart.
Shaking her head while scrunching her nose, she looked at him questioningly. "Samuel, do you want me to die of terror?"
She saw her brother leaning against the door-frame and breathing harshly. He wiped his face with his knuckles. Closing his eyes, he raised his hand.
"Hand me a glass of water. I had a very terrible dream," he muttered while leaning his head back on the wooden frame.
Samara swallowed and stared at him with her eyes turning full of concern. "Are you alright, brother?" she asked while bending to fill the glass with water.
Passing it to him, she observed his wounds. Thankfully, they weren't torn like every time. But she could see his face was sweating strangely. It surely was a nightmare that her brave brother was so shaken.
He wiped his mouth and handed her the glass. She put it back and offered her hand which he, without any thought, took.
"Samuel, are you sure your wounds alright? Shall I call father to check you up? I too can take a look at the one on your knee since you have been walking enough since past two days," she murmured while helping him by stabling her hand which he was using to put weight on to walk.
"Don't worry, Samara. I actually feel more desperate to walk. These wounds are healing for sure but these nightmares blow my mind."
Samara's eyebrows furrowed as she felt a sudden urge to ask him if he too had heard the howls. She gulped and helped him sitting on his bed. He laid down while still breathing harshly as some of the body parts still ached whenever he moved them.
She gave him a smile and brought covers up to his chest. "If you want, I can bring you the grand mother's locket from mother's room. It would help you in sleeping peacefully," she whispered when she heard her father's loud snores from the other room.
Samuel smiled briefly and shook his head. "Go sleep, Samara. I will be fine."
She looked at him quietly and felt herself getting overwhelmed at seeing him so much in pain. Girls could easily whine in pain while boys would always try to show that they could handle well even if they couldn't. She shook her head and backed away.
"I can make you a cup of tea," she offered softly.
Samuel closed his eyes and breathed leisurely. Half-opening his eyes, he suggested, "You can sit here for sometime."
Samara felt her heart swelling at his words. So, maybe her brother was scared after all. She could actually stay for a while until he would fall in deep slumber. So, without any further word, she sat on the big wooden chair beside his bed and pulled her feet up that her knees were touching her breasts. Covering herself fully with shawl, she breathed calmly while still feeling unsure if she should mention the howl to him.
"I couldn't sleep in those tents."
Samara gulped and nodded while watching how he was talking with his eyes closed. His voice sounded as if he was using his nose to speak. Maybe, he was getting sleepy slowly.
"Tents were fine and so was the weather. Yet I couldn't sleep because of the wails of wounded soldiers laying in the other tents, because of the loud grunts and howls of wild animals. It was horrible, Samara." She gulped and covered her nose with the shawl while listening to him quietly.
"But somehow, due to the stress, the fatigue, I would fall asleep and see you and mother in dreams. Sometimes, Ida. Sometimes, watching myself die in the war. Sometimes, watching myself waking up alone with no tent or person surrounding me. Father used to sleep with general staff. I don't think that they even slept for an hour. They were always guarding us."
Samara smiled and sighed. "Now, see how he is snoring like a tired lion in his den."
She saw her brother smiling and leaned back on the chair. She heard him saying further, "You should keep water in your room. You weren't the only one who was close to scream."
She giggled and nodded. "I was thinking about it. Next time, will do."
"You weren't sleeping. Were you?"
She shook her head when she saw him opening his eyes to look at her.
"Why?"
She lowered her eyes and sighed. "It's nothing actually. I am just full of all the happenings. I can't get peace."
"Nor can I."
She blinked and stared at her brother. "Samuel?"
He hummed while she blinked again. She was actually a bit nervous before asking but finally she blurted it out, "How did you get all those arrows?"
Her brother stared at the ceiling while his eyes were turning moist as if he was watching the whole scenario again. "It was a war, sister. I had to get any injury anyhow. Minor or major, from swords or arrows."
Samara shook her head. "No. You were the only one with so many arrows. Nathaniel had said that you didn't care about them. You just wanted to step ahead and kill your targets. It's commendable, Samuel. You should remember it as a proud memory."
Samuel sighed with a smile on his face. "I do. But Nathaniel exaggerates everything. I just wanted to get to a particular spot to save our man, but got stabbed by such arrows. It was bravery or stupidity. I don't know. My heart called our for it so I did it," he explained.
Samara yawned and closed her eyes. "Stupidity is when you don't have the will to fight but you enter the army. Once you enter, it's all bravery. You are brave, brother."
Samuel stared at her and swallowed. "I am not, Samara. I am not," he whispered.
Samara opened her eyes and was about to argue when he said, "Go, sleep now. I think I will be fine now. I can't let you sleep here on the chair. It's cold."
She rolled her eyes and got up slowly. Giving him a last glance, she turned around to walk towards the door.
She smiled and muttered, "Ignore the snores."
"Ignore the howls."
She halted her steps and turned her head to look at him with wide eyes.
"What did you say?" she asked while gulping.
Her brother blinked and gave her a blank look.
"Sleep well, Samara."
__________
Looking at the stable, she noticed that the horse wasn't there. It meant that he too wasn't here, which was what she actually wanted.
Picking her skirt with one hand, she started walking towards the door. Knocking the wood twice, she waited anxiously. But the door didn't open.
She needed to meet the seer before the evening, so she could talk to her properly and get back home before dark. So not wasting anytime, she tried to push the door and gasped when it got opened on its own. Slowly peeking inside, she saw no one in the drawing room.
Suddenly, a brilliant idea hit her mind. What if he was working in the backyard because she had seen the cart outside the door? She thought about hiding the nuts in his kitchen and would let him wonder about the admirer.
She just wanted to make him feel good by presenting a return gift to Lord Lester for those mangoes, she enjoyed eating very much. These nuts were specially supplied by a foreign friend of her father recently. When they opened the sacks, they were enough to share fully.
So here, she was.
Slowly entering the house, she closed the door behind her. Keeping her footsteps quiet, she looked around alerted. The door to the backyard was actually opened and Samara felt that she was right. She quietly walked towards the kitchen.
Quietly putting nuts on the shelf, she thought about why didn't she put the bag on the dining table. Wasn't it too daring to put it here? But shaking her head, she finally put the bag on the shelf and was lifting her skirt to turn around.
But before she could even move, a hand snaked around her waist while other covered her mouth. She widened her eyes and let out a scream which was successfully muffling under that big hand. She was getting dragged towards the wall and felt her heart thumping loudly.
She tried to remove the hand from her mouth but ended up letting out a whimper when the hold tightened. Suddenly, she was turned around and pushed into the wall harshly. Her eyes widened when she saw the face of her captor.
She groaned and tried to let out immoral curses but Rodwin didn't remove his hand from her mouth. He looked at her with a taunting smile on his face.
"Stealing berries again, my love?"
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to push him by his chest. Rodwin chuckled at her little efforts and brought his mouth closer to her left ear.
"I will remove my hand, if you won't scream. Because if you scream, father would be here. He would think that you are here for me. He would get wrong ideas about you, Samara. I won't mind though," he whispered huskily while Samara stopped struggling.
She gulped and nodded.
She watched him quietly as he slowly removed his hand from her mouth and brought it to hold her waist from other side.
"Wow. It feels romantic," he commented cheekily while Samara gritted her teeth and punched her fists in his chest.
"Get your hands off me. I was just here for those nuts," she whisper-yelled.
Rodwin shook his head. "You could have knocked the door," he whispered.
"I did," she said while widening her eyes as to prove her innocence.
"No. You sneaked into my home and now, enjoying my hands on you. You had wrong intentions, Samara. Do you want me to kiss you?"
Samara was stunned at realising how close they were standing. He wasn't removing his hands from her waist and now that he had mentioned the kiss, he might steal one from her.
"Don't," she whispered while staring at him consciously.
Rodwin let out a hot breath on her neck that churned her stomach making her feel unknown sensations. "Are you scared, Samara?"
She swallowed and felt him snuggling his nose on the space below her ear. She closed her eyes and breathed harshly. "Rod-Rodwin, please. It's not right," she whispered.
Rodwin hummed while leaving a trail of hot breath on her neck making her shudder in desire. "I won't hurt you, Samara. It will feel right," he promised while her hands gripped his forearm when he rubbed his thumb on her waist gently.
He moved his face back to look at her. She was actually nervous with the way, she had closed her eyes and was breathing shakily. He sighed and kissed her forehead, letting his lips lingering there for longer.
He pulled back and saw her staring at him with glossy eyes. "Why do you do this?" she asked him in whisper.
"What, Samara?"
"You touch me. You kiss me. Weren't you the one talking about my reputations and images. What if people catch you with me? Won't I be questioned then?" she whispered while looking at him tiredly.
She saw him sighing heavily. He cupped her cheek and Samara could observe his long and thick lashes. His eyes, a beautiful shade of green.
"I will stand by you and he won't. I will support you but he won't. From these years, you know how I feel. And I feel a lot more than just desiring your body. You know that I desire your heart too, Samara."
She closed her eyes thinking that he would end up laughing at any time by then. She knew how he was. He had always tried to embarrass her and this was his new way.
She shook her head and tried to push him. "Whatever you feel, Rodwin. I don't care when I love Nathaniel. You can never replace him," she muttered while trying her best not to look in his eyes, fearing he would be glaring at her.
Unexpectedly, he didn't react and quietly stepped back from her. She then realised that he was wearing an old shirt that seemed as if it was of his father.
Was he helping in gardening? Maybe, that was why he was home. But would he skip the training session for that?
She blinked and swallowed while straightening her gown. She felt too conscious to look at him but at last glanced as she knew, he was just staring at the wall.
Not wanting to feel the sudden guilt, she started walking towards the door. She was just touching the handle, when she heard him saying something.
"I would surely be the one replacing him, Samara. You yourself will realise my presence in your heart. The day would come soon when you would feel something for me. But that day might come too late. Maybe, I won't be there to return those feelings."
She turned her head and raised her eyebrows. "What? Will you be dying?"
Rodwin blinked and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. But you might be late."
Samara clenched her jaws and showed him her determined look. "I would be late if I feel anything for you first. But that will never happen, Rodwin. And if you don't know about your death. Just know that I am cursing it to you, every time you come in my mind," she said while turning her stare into a deep glare.
But that didn't affect Rodwin which seemed to affect her. She stomped her foot and opened the door. Even while getting out, she heard him saying, "At least, I come in your mind. About my death, my soul will smile seeing those precious tears in your eyes for me."
She wanted to turn and scream at his face but knew that he would never let her win any argument.
She could only ignore his words at last.
So not even shutting the door behind her, she walked out of the Lesters' nest.
_________
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