I hear her words replaying in my head over and over again, taunting me as I aggressively wash my face with the tap water rushing loud and harsh in the bathroom sink of my office.
Flashes of her damn tears as she looks up at me with fear in her eyes, is gripping my heart so tight, I feel likes it's going to burst.
I don't want to see this. Can my brain just stop!
Suddenly I hear one of my mother's last words to me, "To have a good woman by your side is a blessing and a gift. Never to own. Once you find the one, treat her with love and respect."
I can feel tears begin to fill up in my eyes with that thought of my mother. I swear I could almost hear her voice. But I suck those tears back in.
I close the tap water and glance back up at the foggy mirror as water drips down my face, feeling my eyes so strained out. I wipe the mirror with my hand to see my misty reflection.
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I hate my reflection so much. I can't recognize this person staring right at me.
My eyes are bloodshot red from how harsh I just washed my face. But it's not the appearance I can't recognize, it's the person I've become.
What the fuck is happening to me?
I almost fucking forced myself onto y/n. Something I've told myself to never do again after that fucking night I hurt her.
Fuck my life.
Why does it feel like I'm losing control of my body. My life feels like it's spiralling out of control. This isn't what I wanted.
"I think the word you should use is rape,"I hear those words of her again. I know I purposely made her think we had sex but hearing that word come out of her mouth, had hurt me at that moment, knowing well I would never do that to her. But she believed it wholeheartedly.
Then Jimin suddenly exerts into my mind. I had brought that scumbag to the basement. I've been so eager to inflict pain onto him and I had finally expressed all the anger and pain that I have been building up and suppressing, moments ago in the Black Room.
I get a sudden memory of Jimin's young self, smilingly say, "I'm always here for you, bro."
Ugh what the fuck. I don't want to remember my past with him.
But I hear his young voice again."Don't worry, I'm always here for you, bro. Both you and Tae. Because I know you both will always have my back."
I fucking hate this guy, so why the fuck am I feeling guilty right now for stabbing him.
I didn't even intend on having y/n pick between Jimin and Taehyung. I had actually let Taehyung out of that mandatory punishment. As much as I just want to beat the shit out him, I don't know why I couldn't stab him. I've done this plenty of times to others. But Taehyung isn't like others. He's like a brother to me and been one from time. We went through a lot of tough shit together and I just couldn't fucking stab him as much as my brain keeps pushing me to torture him.
