Lost & Found

Human Holidays Are Weird

"What's the point of them?"

"I don't know." He mumbled. "Some kind of food offering?"

My eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head as a sigh managed to escape on its own. "Your planet that you know nothing about."

"You sound like Sarah. It's like you're shaming me for not being able to speak Cybertronian."

"You should be ashamed for not knowing about your own culture."

"Do you really expect me to know the origin of every holiday?"

Epps scoffed and pushed his empty tray aside. "Nah. He just knows nothing."

"You hush. It's not like you know anymore."

"I bet I do."

"I bet you don't."

"Prove it."

"Fine then. Ask me a question." Epps dared.

"You two sound like Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Can you stop arguing?" I asked, oblivious to the fact they weren't even listening.

Will pointed an accusing finger at the other man. "He started it."

"Nu-Uh! You started it!"

"Did not, it was you!"

"He started it first! I'm completely innocent!"

"Liar!"

"Man, I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a liar!"

"Well, you just proved you're one today!"

"Just because Liza is between us does not mean I will reach across this table and strangle you!"

"Go ahead and try it! Let's see who going to be flat on their...butt!"

"See look at ya! Almost cursed in front of a child. Darn shame."

"Like I didn't hear you curse around her before!"

"I lost count of how many times Sarah has knocked you upside your head for cursing around Annabelle!"

"Less than you!"

"Now you know that's a flat lie!"

I looked up and half of the cafeteria was indeed peering at the two fighting children in amusement.

My hands came up to ease the growing head as I dropped my head dramatically on the table.

I swear I'm surrounded by idiots.
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Christmas

"Bee?"

Said bot' paused his radio and stared at me questionably.

"Why is that every time near the end of the Earth year I see these trees and bright lights?"

My eyes were glued to the decorative and colorful trees that were placed throughout the hallways as we passed by.

Tiny little lights were hung along the walls and around the trees flickering and twinkling from color to color like stars. ⭐️

Sphere little glass balls of all colors and thick spiky strings were also placed around the base, but mostly on the trees.

:: Oh Bee, you forgot already?:: A clip of Mikaela's voice played softly through his speakers. :: Christmas is coming up soon. That's why Ron and Judy are setting up lights in the yard.::

"I forgot about the human Christmas." I groaned. "Why didn't you remind me?

He just shrugged innocently.

"You're no help. Can you at least tell me what the humans do on this Christmas again?"

His radio came with a smug reply. ::...Nah.::

I glared at his smiling optics. "This just proves you're worthless."

:: Whatever man.::

"Fine, I'll just go find someone else to ask."

I headed inside the Rec Room with Bee following close behind and immediately the room was filled with 'oo's and 'awww's from nearby humans.

What?

Jazz, who happened to be there along with the Terror Twins, hopped up from his spot on the Cybertronian-sized couch and smiled with glee.

"Uh oh, you two. Ya know what that means?"

"What?"

He pointed upwards, leading our gaze to the leaves hanging in the middle of the doorway.

"What about it?" I asked, slightly puzzled.

"The humans call it a mistletoe and whoever you stand under it with, you have to kiss that person."

::...Say what?!::

"Huh?!"

I looked at Bee with a disgusted look, noticing a copy of my actions . We both took a few steps away from each other.

"I'd rather die."

:: Kill me, dude! Just kill...me!::

"Aww come on, ya gotta do it! Just a little peck on tha cheek?"

:: No!::

The humans present in the room groaned and 'awed'.

"Bad sport!" Jazz stuck his tongue at us and folded his arm with a fake pout. "Me and Prowler did it! No sweat!"

"First off, you two are bonded and we all know you probably forced or begged him to do it. Maybe both. Second, everyone knows Prowler isn't a fan of Public Affection. Third, I don't want to hear about you two kissing."

"We still did it!"

"Anyways, I didn't come here to listen about kissing, I came to ask someone who knows about Christmas."

"Well...the mistletoe is part of human Christmas."

"I'm not kissing Bee, dude."

"Sibling love?"

::...Yucky!:: Bee shook his whole body as if he was truly disgusted at the thought.

"I don't want to learn about the kissing thing. Can you just tell me about Christmas?"

"Why ya asking me? I'm an alien just like you."

"I would ask Epps and Will, but it ends up in an argument between them every time I ask a question. You, however, know more about the human culture than the rest of us, aliens, on this base, and also you can look stuff up on the internet."

"You can look stuff up too. Ya got your Cybertronian form."

"I don't know how to do that."

"Why don't you learn?" Jazz questioned.

"Why take up time now when I could get my answers right from you?"

"Well, I do know about this one chubby guy who dresses up in a red suit and flys around with this huge sleigh being pulled by reindeers and lands on top of people's houses."

"Isn't that stalker..ish?"

"Apparently not to tha humans. They call him Santa, I think. He eats sweets and stuff and goes 'ho, ho, ho'."

:: Hold on a minute....what?::

"So you mean to tell me that there's a big man in a red suit, sneaking around peoples houses, stealing treats and goes 'ho ho ho' in a sleigh pulled by some deers?"

"Reindeer." Jazz corrected. "And yep that's what the humans are tellin' me. "

Yup.

Humans holidays are weird.
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