Too Much - John Stones

Fix it

Bradleigh's POV

I lied awake in bed for most of the night. Twisting and turning to try and get comfortable. I huffed and quickly gave up. I searched around the room and placed in one of Kevin's hoodies along with his shorts. I grabbed my phone and cigarette box and left the hotel room. I walked up the stairs and found the door which opened up to the roof. I looked around to see if it would set of any fire alarms or what not but decided to proceed in opening it. I took in a deep breath of the fresh air and sat down on the edge. With my legs dangling over the edge. I lit a cigarette and decided to take in the view of London.

"I thought I heard you come up here" a familiar voice said. John Stones.

"How did you hear me?"

"My rooms next to Kev's" he said and sat down next to me. "The walls are pretty thin" he added. I could feel my face turn a shade of pink.

"I didn't hear much from yours and Jess' room" I laughed.

"Maybe because when we got back all we could hear was yours and Harry's fun night" he rolled his eyes.

"I didn't mean for you to hear it, honestly" I said and held my hands up.

"Was he better than me?"

"Is Jess better than me?" I spat back. Annoyed at his stupid question.

"You know what? You're the one who broke up with me, you have no right to be angry"

"Yeah, because I was mad at everything. The whole situation, my life. Not because I stopped loving you" I huffed. He didn't respond. "Did you think that you were just going to meet someone, fall in love with them and that would be it? Because that's not life John"

"Do you still love me?" He asked. Ignoring my rant.

"Of course I still love you! We haven't been together for what? Over a week and you know when I walked into the stadium today and you guys won I had never been so in love with you. You were great, you took charge of the team and let's not forget about how good you looked. But then when I bumped into you afterwards with Jess I was hurt, really hurt. I didn't think you would just move on that quickly"

"But I haven't moved on" he said, shocked.

"You looked happy enough with Jess earlier" I admitted and lit another cigarette. He did reply to this statement so I turned to look at him, tears looked like they were forming in his eyes. Or it could just be the wind.

"You know Bradleigh. I have never felt so weak before. You know, I was raised as a hardass, just like every other lad out there. All I hear is men don't cry or never show your emotions, unless that is dominance and when I wasn't 100%, that would eat away at me because I felt as if I couldn't talk about it. Then I met you, you taught me that it's okay to share my feelings, that it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes and that it's okay to cry. For once I felt truly happy. I felt like I was in control of my emotions. I felt strong. Then you left. Now I've lost all control. I've lost all my strength, and I've lost my happiness. Now I'm more vulnerable than ever, I share too much with people that don't care, and, worst of all, I cry uncontrollably when no one is around." He wiped his face. "Jess is absolutely stunning but tonight I couldn't even get it up" he half laughed. "Me, John Stones. England footballer who has had sex plenty of times. Seen plenty of girls naked and been seen by plenty of girls naked for some reason felt insecure"

"It's easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams... that is being naked." I cupped his face. I didn't like seeing John in such a bad way. He was crying and his eyes were bloodshot.

"You know John, I would rather rip my own heart out than hear you call Jess beautiful in the same way that you used to say that to me or kiss her with the same passion like you used to do with me" I wiped his face for him. "But Jess has done nothing wrong in the situation. She doesn't deserve to get hurt. I want to kiss you so bad right now. I want to hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay. At the same time I want to rip your clothes off in my room and do everything that you wanted to do with Jess and what I just did with Winks, but better. But Jess doesn't deserve to be cheated on or lied to"

"I just don't get how this happened to us. We were so strong together" he held my hand is his as he looked over the dark skies of London.

"It was all my fault John. You didn't deserve all of this. I look like I have my life together, I really do. But now you know that I am just a mess. A mess that you can't fix"

"But I want to fix it"

Johns POV

"I think it's time to go to bed" she huffed and pulled herself up. She held her hand up and help me up also. "I'll see you in the morning" she smiled.

"Good morning handsome" Jess woke me up with a kiss on the cheek. "Kyle said all the guys are going for breakfast, do you want to join them?" She added. She obviously did realise I was out most of the night and that I was dead beat.

"Sure" I smiled. I had nothing better to do. I put on some grey joggers and one of my England jerseys. I put on my Canada Goose jacket and brushed my teeth.

"Ready?" I asked her and walked out of the bathroom. "Bit overdressed for breakfast?" I laughed. She had a full face of make up done and was wearing a white crop too along with a pair of leather looking nude trousers.

"You think?" She seemed annoyed.

"Yeah, well I presume it's more of a I'm hungover and feel like shit kinda breakfast" I chuckled.

"Well I don't feel that hungover really" she snapped back. I ignored her stupid attitude and held the door open for her.

We took a stroll to this cafe where everyone decided to meet. Once we arrived, Kyle, Raheem, Kevin, Dele, Kane and Tripps were all there. I pulled our Jess' chair for her and let her sit down first.

"You seem tired bro?" Kyle asked me.

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep" I lied. Kyle gave me a look as if to say he knew that I was lying. "I was up all night, with Bradleigh" I whispered so Jess wouldn't hear me. She was in conversation anyway with Tripps and Raheem.

"And?"

"I thought we were getting somewhere, I did. But then she started saying that she can't be fixed or some bullshit like that" I began to explain. Just as I was about to tell Kyle other parts of the evening the door the the Cafe opened and Bradleigh walked in followed by Winks. She was now in the pair of jeans she wore to the match and now one of Winks' Spurs jerseys.

"Whaaay! It's the man!" Dele joked.

"You must of done bits last night Winks, look at her neck" Tripps then pointed to Bradleighs neck which had a messy line of love bites down her neck and what looked like down to her chest. Winks and Bradleigh ordered some food and the waiter came back with a milkshake with two straws in which they both shared. Harry must of said something funny as Bradleigh laughed and a bit of milkshake came out of her nose.

"What the fuck does Winks have that I don't?" I asked Kyle. "Fucking look at them"