Don't Wake Me Up

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Ant's POV



I Just Stood there fighting to see his face threw my tear filled eyes . My heart started to thump then jump and from there it was doing a Full on dance . This was everything that I have been praying for , for the last few days , and yet I couldnt move . Just my luck , Always freezing up in the absolutely wrong times . First the proposal , Then after his surgery , and Now seeing him alive and looking at me sent me back into my safe spot . Question was why did I feel like I had to hide ? what was I running from ? The man of my dreams was staring at me , waiting for me to embrace him , yet something was holding me back . Was it because I was so afraid of losing him that I didnt want to open myself***gain ? Of course Not that couldnt be it I Loved him cutting him out wasnt an option . As I Stood there letting the tears roll down my face , staring into Rj's eyes , I felt a tug at my arm . I turned around and it was Liz , she gently turned me around and lowered her voice .

Liz: Are you ok

Ant: Depends , is this real ? Is he really ok

Liz: What do you think

Ant: I think , that ive had so many of these dreams and they all felt real , maybe this is just another one .

Liz: Do you want me to pinch you

Ant: Sure

Liz: Fine

Ant: Ouch !

Liz: See , This is not a Dream and that was Pain .

Ant: Oh God thank you Thank You THank you . I gotta Hug Him

Liz: Wait

Ant: What

Liz: I Didnt tell him , about Aaron

Ant: ..........

Liz: I Just couldnt find in myself to do it .



And Just like that It Hit me the reason I was so skeptical of embracing him . Welcoming him back , Loving him , Holding him , Letting him know that We could Survive anything That I would always be by his side . I wasnt ready to do that , because I wasnt ready to be the same one to undo all that . I wasnt ready to tell him that his little brother was gone and that he was never coming back . Much like Liz I couldnt find it in myself to be the one to Unravel him , to bring such pain to him , especially right after over coming this . I Mean what do you do , what do you say . Welcome back oh by the way your little brother is Dead No No way I couldnt not to him not to anyone . I walked over to him and stood above him his eyes were like the entire universe , So deep and massively filled with Love , Love for not only me but for everyone in his life . As I got lost in his gaze the decision to tell him became that much harder . He cracked a smile at me as I reached out and locked our hands together .


Liz: Riaya Hunny , How about we go to the Cafeteria and get a soda

Raiya: No thanks Mom , Im not thirsty

Liz: Well , how about Ice Cream

Raiya: No thanks , I really wanna be here when Daddy says his first word

Liz: Well that could take a while Hunny . Daddy is .... really tired and umm he needs his rest .

Raiya: But he's been sleep for so long

Liz: I Know , I know . But One more quick nap and daddy will be back to normal . But for now I think we should give him some time

Raiya: Oooooooook If you say . Love you daddy *Kisses Rj *



Raiya Jumps off the bed and follows Liz out the Room , Liz gave me a quick smile , probably thinking I wouldnt wanna be him . As the Door closed , I focused my eyes back to Rj , who's gaze was still stuck on me . Although he was alive and Awoke , he wasnt the same , he just laid there looking and occasionally smiling . I Didnt know if it was a normal thing for people to wake from a coma and not speak . Maybe he just needed time to regroup and get back to normal . Even tho he wasnt saying much I could tell he was there , He was in his Right mind , No amnesia or anything , just looking . I Leaned down and took a big wift of him , I missed it the smell of his hair , the smell of his skin , his entire aroma aroused me , It was like I lived for the smell . I Rubbed my nose against his in a soft swift motion . If He couldnt talk to me at least he knew That I Loved him and that everything was ok and that I wasnt Leaving him I would be right here threw it all . I Just had to figure out How to tell him . As I was laying there rubbing his head and holding his hand , there was a Knock at the Door it was the Doctors . They had to run a few Test on him to make sure everything was working properly with his Brain . I remember getting this Ill feeling like I was losing him all over again , but I had to tell myself that this was procedures and it was best for us to know exactly the extent of Damage the Bullets have done . I Just laid there and looked up smiling , Thanking God For hearing my prayers .


................................................................................................


It Had Been Two Days since Rj Awoke from his Coma , Gradually he was getting back to himself . He was talking and laughing and playing with his Daughter . But Sadly the Bullet did major damage to his spine so Movement was a No go . I Just think that he was so happy to be alive that he didn't think twice about being Paralyzed im guessing he was leaning more towards thinking he was just temporarily paralyzed , either way he didnt question it . Neither did he question His family's whereabouts , its tough to say but Thank god , because I was in no way shape or form ready to tell him . Despite everything things were kinda getting good .


Night time Fell and Raiya and Liz Decided to Stay the Night at the hospital so they slept on the couch , while I squeezed in the hospital bed with Rj . As I Layed there staring at the clock with my arm around him resting my head on his chest . I couldnt help but feel guilty , guilty that I was holding something so sacred back from him . I Just couldnt Find any ounce of Man in me to tell him . I Just wanted to keep him safe for as long as I could , I had no control over what happened to us , But I Did have control over hurting him , and thats something I couldnt Do . Even tho I Knew I was running out of time being that his parents are on their way into town it was only a matter of time before He found out . Knowing his Father still isnt the biggest fan of me , I couldnt afford to look like an Evil B***h to them . It Just sucks that Its up to me to be the Angle and the Devil on his shoulder .

RJ: Ant

Ant: Yea

RJ: you Ok ?

Ant: yea Im Fine . You ?

Rj: Im Good , But are you ?

Ant: Of Course , what gives you the idea

Rj: Well One , I can Feel your tears on my chest . two Im Paralyzed not death .

Ant: Im just happy , thats all . Im glad your Ok

Rj: You said that already , yesterday and today and just 3 hours ago

Ant: Well I cant Help it , Im Excited

Rj: Really because the advantage of two people laying chest to chest . is you can feel their heart beat . and by no Means are you excited . Talk to me Ant

Ant: I am talking to you

Rj: You Know what I mean

Ant: I Dont , what do you want me to say

Rj: Aye Even tho Ive been threw Hell and Back . Non of that Mattered because I could find time to stop and think about it . Because the only thing that was on my mind was you . Not Knowing if you were ok ? Not Knowing if I would ever see you again . There were times when I could have let go , I could of just easily stop fighting , but then I would see your face and I couldnt give up . I couldnt leave you in this world without me . You always say that without me your nothing , Truth is your Stronger than me , You take on everybodys problems , everybody needs and wants , only for everybody to push them to the side or forget your kindness . You see without you I would be Lost I wouldnt be half the man I am . So I wasnt only fighting for You , I was Fighting For us . So Whatever it is , No matter how bad it is you can tell me .

Ant: I Love You

Rj: I Love you Too


I reached up and pressed my lips against his , He wrapped his arms around me and held me . It felt great , the fact that over the past two days the feeling in his upper body has came back , he wasnt fully functional but he had enough control to hold me , just enough to for me to feel his love . I rested my head back on his chest and For the first time in two days I was going to sleep without interruptions . As Im laying there with a smile on my face thinking about Our Love and How far it has come and how It has blossomed into something neither of ever thought it would . My thoughts were interrupted my his deep voice .

Rj: I Cant shake this feeling that something isnt right

Ant: Really

Rj: yea , its just like eating old greens and cornbread , theres just this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach

Ant: Its probably gas , the doctors said you would experience that

Rj: No , its something else . it Hurts

Ant: Do you need a Nurse ?

Rj: NO . Hey Where is .....

Ant: Kendrick ! oh my god I forgot to tell you He moved to L.A , can you believe it ? Im Proud of him tho

Rj: Yea , But ummm I was actually about to ask about ............

Ant: Tiara , She good , Her and Jermaine are really making it work . Oh And she's in the studio working on her Debut Line . Its due this Spring

RJ: Wait .........

Ant: I know its well over due . Bout damn time Right

Rj: Where Is

Ant: Waldo , Where Is Waldo You remember we played that with .......

Rj: Ant Stop !

Ant: Ok Fine . I was just trying to catch you up

Rj: Aaron , Where Is Aaron

Ant: ..............

Rj: Anthony . Look at me . Where is my brother



I Couldnt say that I didnt feel this coming , thats why I attempted to quickly change the conversation . I Just sat up and looked at him , he looked like he meant business so i knew there was no way around this . He wanted answers and he wanted them now . I grabbed his hand and took a deep breath . I didnt have a plan , I didnt know what to say or how to go about it . So I Just went for it I told him exactly what happened , everything that the news reported , there was really no official word because the Agents havent been by to let us know anything , so the only thing i could tell him was , Your brother has passed and this is what they suspect happened . I held his hand as i gently let him down , I Could see the drawback in his eyes , it was almost like he was taking a page out of my book and withdrawing himself from reality . He just laid there with a blank stare on his face , Nothing no response Not a single tear . After about an hour of Silence , He turned on his side and I put my arms around him to remind him that I wasnt going anywhere .


.........................................................................................................

1 week later



As Were Packing up all of Rj's things to leave the Hospital . There was this Undefined feeling in the room . I must say that feeling has been lingering around since the very night I told Rj about his Brother . Liz and Raiya had already returned back to Florida they agreed to keep raiya's life as normal as possible which meant school . Even tho it was the best thing I dont think Rj liked it much , lately his life has been filled with so much lost , it hurt him to see Someone who always saw him in the best of light leave .

Doctor: After running the test , it doesnt look like your Spine was fractured to an extensive case . If you look here there is still some swelling and Bruising around your Spine . which is likely prohibiting you from having any feeling below your waist . your upper body seems to be working fine . Which is good being that for the time being your going to be wheel chair bound .

Ant: And Will the swelling ever go away

Doctor: Well Once the swelling goes down , we can further asset the damage , but as for now theres nothing we can do , but wait and keep doing x rays .

Rj: So whats the average time for healing

Doctor: Depends on the purpose , but im sure a young strapping Bull like yourself should bounce back within 6 months to a year if you eat right and attend therapy .

Rj: Thank you Doctor


Detective: Great , Caught you before you left . Im Detective Harris I was appointed to your case I and I need to ask you two a couple questions

Rj: Ok Sure what do you need to know

Detective: The Car that Assaulted you guys was located . There was no valuable evidence to identify the occupants . Did either of you happen to get an Id on anyone

Rj: No It was Dark , and the only thing I could see was the gun .

Ant: I Dont understand why are you asking this . I thought you guys caught them .

Detective: We Did , But before the Ring leader Tony Died he confessed that he had nothing to do with the attack on you two

RJ: And You Believed Him

Detective: We Had a few of his Boys back that up with Lie detector Test

Ant: Their Criminals , their Profession is lying

Detective: I Understand , but the people who killed your brother and Jayce arent the people who ran you two Down

Rj: Wow Wait A Minute your trying to tell me that whoever did this to us are still out there

Detective: Exactly what im trying to say

Ant: So What Now

Detective: Well I would advise you to Beef up your security for the time being . In the meantime We will be Hunting down your attackers . Thanks for your cooperation .


The Detective Left and I saw this grave amount of anger come over Rj . After such a Hit like that , it was no way we were going back to that house . For the time being we were taking a step back from This City so we headed to Houston . For a break , and for Rj to have a Chance to say Goodbye to his Brother .



I Sat there as the Warm Texas sun caressed my skin as I watched Rj and Meagan stand over Aarons grave. I sat back and thought about my life , Actually my Love life . On Paper its seems like I never had one . there was always some obstacle , some hurdle , Some kind of drama in our way . From the Naked eye it seemed like we never had a chance at happiness , never had that fairy tale Love story . The college years , then The Penelope Drama , Then being shot down in cold blood , it seemed like our fairy tale was a nightmare . We always had this running joke that it wouldnt be Ant and Rj if there wasnt some Drama , But when was enough enough , when would we get to finally be happy without the heartache , just the laughs and the untamed love we share for each other . For so long I wished for a normal relationship , a Normal life , but at some point along the way I excepted that this was us . Our love was unmatched , We survived so much and still came out on top . We loved like Animals in heat , Raw and Passionate , I realized that I wouldnt change anything about it I wanted the Hurt the Pain the Loss , Because it only made the love worth it , It made us feel , It forced us to love . My Love story isnt the same as everybody else , but Its Mine And I Love it , I Love Him . 

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