Jackson State- Part 2 JS2

Where Have you Been All My Life

Kendrick's POV

Its Been A Day Since My Grandma's Surgery , and This Morning She was released with a Clean bill of health and Strongly Recommended Break From Cigarettes From the Doctors . After Signing all the Paper work to have her Discharged we left the Hospital and headed Home . The Ride home was very Quite besides her Gospel music Playing . I got her Home and Into her Bed and tucked her In nicely . Turned her tv on and handed her the Remote and Turned to walk out the Room .

Helen: If You Dont Bring Yo ass in here and Lower these Damn Pillows , I been sleeping on my back Long enough .

Kendrick: Oh Sorry , Let me get that for you

Helen: Hell My Prostitution Days are over the only reason I should be on my Back is when Im dead and gone .

Kendrick: Is that Better ?

Helen: Much Better .

Kendrick: Can I get you anything , Water , Food .

Helen: Im Fine Baby , and you can stop trying to Kill me , Hell I Aint got no Life Insurance Lol

Kendrick: Ok Well Im Going to My Room . Call me if you Need Me

Helen: Hold on Wait A Minute . Sit Down .

Kendrick: mam ?

Helen: Whats Wrong with Ya Boy ?

Kendrick: Nothing

Helen: Bullshit , I Done sat her and made Two many Jokes and you aint Rolled those Prissy eyes Not once . Is it Ya Momma ?

Kendrick: ...........

Helen: Look I know you are entitled to be Upset with her , But she is ya Mama , and you only get one Kendrick

Kendrick: You Should Tell her that . Not me She Left Remember

Helen: Thats not the Point Son , Your Mother Was and Will always Be an addict so her Way of thinking is different than the way you and I think . Your Mother Loved you No matter How it may look , Cause she did the one thing that All Women Hell Parents at that, could ever do and thats give their child Up For them to have a better life . Now Im not telling you to forgive her , Im asking you to Find it in your Heart to try .

Kendrick: Why Should I

Helen: Boy Have all those years of me Dragging you to Church Been For nothing . You Must Forgive those Who Harmed you .

Kendrick: Yea Well God Forgives I Dont .

Helen: Hey Now Son , Dont Play with my God .

Kendrick: Im Sorry , But How Can You Expect me to Forgive her When You Havent ?

Helen: Thats a Different Situation . Ive Heard it all and seen it All Everything your Mother Has to Offer . Ive heard the Lies and ive Been let down By her Numerous times . Its Gotten to a Point where im too old to worry myself about your Mother , I just Pray and put it in Gods hands . Like I said its up to you to Decide if you want to Forgive her , Take it from me this is the Healthiest she's looked in years .

Kendrick: I cant Promise you anything , But I will say I will think about it .

Helen: Ok , Now get out of here with all that talking , general Hospital about to Come on .


I close the Door and Walk into My room and sit Down on the bed . Even tho I felt like My Grandma was right , there was still something in me that was Hesitant about talking to my Mom . I mean What Would we have to talk about , Oh hey son Sorry I disappeared on your for 17 years of your Life How are you ? Thanks But No thanks I would Rather Keep it the Way it Is Now . I Laid back on the bed and Felt My Phone Vibrate and Lifted up to get it out my Pocket Assuming it was Cam checking to see if I was ok I just slid the Answer Button over without Looking at the screen .

HE KISSED ME

I sat up in the bed , and Immediately Went into Defense Mode .

Kendrick: What the Fuck you mean he Kissed You ! WHO KISSED YOU

Ant: RJ Stupid

Kendrick: What the Fuck Rj Doing Kissing you . Wait this Ant ?

Ant: Duh Perry Winkle

Ant: Anyway , He Kissed me , Dude Literally just Pulled me into Him and Went For it . It was so Random and Out of Nowhere , I mean I knew We Were playing around , But I didnt think Dude would Just Out of the Blue Kiss me Like that While His Fiance is Upstairs Sleep . I cant Believe this Shit ! Im So Fucking Pissed off . What the Fuck he think this is Have Yo Cake and Eat it To Day . Hell Naw Nigga . Dude you have No idea How Mad I am , I feel Like he think Oh Thats Ant I can have him anytime I want .

Kendrick: .............

Ant: He Probably thinking , Yes I got Some Pussy and Ass , It aint happening like that HELL NAW . I swear When I get My First Check Im Bouncing Im out of here , I cant Live here . Kendrick , Kendrick Hellllloooooooooo !

Kendrick: Hello

Ant: What the Fuck Wrong with you , I Just told you Rj Kissed me , and You Havent said Tea , Or Hunty Yet .

Kendrick: I saw My Mom Last night

Ant: What !

Kendrick: She Came to the Hospital To Check On Grandma

Ant: Oh My , How You Feel ?

Kendrick: to Be Real I dont Know How to Feel , Im angry then Im Anxious for some Reason and Then Im Happy .

Ant: And here I am Calling you about my Simple Problems , Im Sorry to hear that .

Kendrick: Its Cool , Its Old News Now

Ant: So have you talked to her ?

Kendrick: Nope

Ant: Are you Planning on talking to her ?

Kendrick: Probably Not

Ant: Well Im here if you need me .

Kendrick: Yea I know , But Im Tired so Im gonna Call you Back .

Ant: Ok , Aye I Love you Pussy No Homo Lol .

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After Carefully Thinking it Over all Day , Going back and Forth in my mind On If I wanted to Talk to her Or if I was Even Ready to talk to her . I felt like if I did I would Only Open an old Wound and I was too afraid to do that , cause Like most Addicts they Come and Go they Relapse , and Their In and out of your life . I was a Strong person , But When I finally Realized and Accepted my Mom Left me I was Devastated , I couldnt Really Process it , I just Assumed that This was Temporary and that she would Come back and get me , I waited up every night looking out the window every time I saw a Cars head lights flash , I jumped out of bed Fully Dressed Thinking It was My Mom and Dad Coming to get me From this Lady that I barely Knew . My Grandma Wasnt a Big Fan Of My Dad Which resulted in Me barely seeing her as a Kid , Really And Truly My First Memories of her where From when I moved in With her .

I Stood In the Bathroom Mirror Making sure Everything was Perfect to the T , I wanted to Look good for her , For Some Reason I found it Very Important to Impress her , Or More so Show her Everything she passed up on . When I heard the Knock at the Door , I turned the light off and walked out the bathroom down the stairs and to the Front Door , I stood there for a second letting my nerves Die Down . Then I opened the Door She Turned around and Looked at me and smiled and Reached in and hugged me , I still had to get use to that . I Pulled away from the awkward Hug and closed the Door , and Walked into the Kitchen . She Followed me into the Kitchen and I couldnt Help but Cringe at the sight of her , She looked Rough , Nothing like the Woman I remembered . She was Dirty Looking with Old Run Down too Little Clothes on and Her Bright White Smile that Haunted my Dreams Was No Longer there . She took a seat Across from me and Just Smiled at me .

Juanita: Hey Son ,

Kendrick: Hey

Juanita: I get it you Still mad at ya Mama Arent you

Kendrick: I Sorta Forgot

Juanita: It hasnt Been that Long has It Lol

Kendrick: Try 16 going on 17 years

Juanita: So How Have you been ?

Kendrick: You mean You Care ?

Jaunita: I guess thats fair , I deserve the Attitude

Kendrick: You Deserve way More than that

Juanita: So tell me about your self ?

Kendrick: Is that Really what you want to Know ? Is that Why After 16 years you Showed Your Face again .

Juanita: Look Son

Kendrick: Dont Call me that .

Juanita: I know You Have Every Right to Be Mad at Me , But I Will Not Be Disrespected , For Giving you a better Life .

Kendrick: A better Life ?, YOU LEFT ME

Juanita: I had No Choice ! , I couldnt take care you . Your father Lost his Job , We both Were Addicted to Narcotics . We Were So Lost , Living In Crack Houses , Fighting For Scraps to Keep you feed , Clothes to keep you in school . I couldnt Live with myslef Knowing I Was Responsible for Destroying your life too . So I had to Give you to Mom .

Kendrick: Why , Why Didnt you At least Visit Me .

Juanita: I wanted to , I really Did But I Just couldnt Let you see Me this Way *crying*

Kendrick: I stayed Up Days and Nights Crying , Waiting On you To Come Back and Get me . Do you Know How that Feels HUH!

Juanita: Im Sorry , Im So Sorry .

Kendrick: You Didnt Call , Send birthday Cards , Nothing . It was Like the Two Of You just Vanished Off the Face of the Earth . Do You Know what that Does to A 6 year Old ?

Juanita: Tell me what Can I do to Fix this ? I'll do anything .

Kendrick: To Be Honest , Your Like a Dream Now , Or a Complete Stranger .

Juanita: Baby , Im Working On getting Clean , Im Checking into a Rehab On Thursday . All I want to do Is Make things right with you . Can you give me that Chance .

Kendrick: Rehab on Thursday ?

Juanita: Yea . They say you know when Your tired , and baby Im tired . Im ready to get my life together . Im ready to Know My Son . If He would give that chance .

Kendrick: For So Long , I wanted you to say that , For years I Dreamed Of This Day . And now thats its Finally here I Dont know what to say .

Juanita: Just say Yes , Just give Mama A Chance To get to Know you .

Kendrick: Ok

Juanita: Can I have a Hug


I was Biting Down on my lip to Stop myself From Crying , I just shook my head yes , and tears started rolling down my face , she got up from her seat and Hugged me , and for the first time I wrapped my arms back around her . I felt like a Little Kid again , I felt like that 6 year old Boy who Loned for his Mothers Love all over again . She pulled away from the Hugged and Ran her head across my head .

Juanita: You Look Exactly Like your Father

Kendrick: Do I

Juanita: Every Spit of Him

Kendrick: Is that A good Thing

Juanita: Not Really Lol

Kendrick: Mom , I forgive you

Juanita: Ive waited 16 years to hear that . I love you Son No Matter What you think or what People say . I always Loved you .

Kendrick: I love you too

Juanita: You know your Everything I imagined you to be

Kendrick: Huh

Juanita: I Would Dream about at you all the time , Wondering How you turned out to be , and I was dead on . You had alot of sass for a 6 year old

Kendrick: Lol Really ?

Juanita: Yeap , Im Glad you Are Who you are . That you have the Courage to Live How you want . Im really Proud of you .

Kendrick: Thank you .

We sat Around and made Small talk about Whatever Came to mind , she told me stories Of Her and My dad , and How He is Locked up And Doing 45 years to Life for Shooting and Killing 2 People in a Robbery Gone Bad . We Fixed some Coffee and ate the Doughnuts From this Morning . It was Cool Talking to her , Just a few Hours ago I was sure I would never have anything to say to her , And look how the tables have turned . Time flew By and it was almost 9:30

Juanita: Ooo Its getting late , And you Know How yo Grandma Feel about people In and out her Door at Night Lol . I should get going .

Kendrick: going ? You can stay here .

Juanita: Your grandma Wouldnt have that, and besides if I dont Make it back to the Shelter On time then I lose my spot . and If I lose my spot in the Shelter I also lose my spot in Rehab , And I cant Afford that .

Kendrick: what time Do have to be Back ?

Juanita: 10

Kendrick: Then your Never going to make it walking . I'll take you

Juanita: You Cant Leave your grandma . i'll Catch the Bus Its Ok

Kendrick: Well let me pay For It .

Juanita: Nonsense Son .

Kendrick: No Its the Least I can do .

Juanita: Thank you, Your such a Gentleman Unlike your Father .

Kendrick: Hey What do you say we spend Your last Day Before Rehab together .

Juanita: That sounds Great , We can to the Movies , and To your Favorite Diner

Kendrick: Doyles Kitchen

Juanita: And Order the Monster Burger and your Chocolate shake . You still like Sprinkles Right ?

Kendrick: Of Course Lol

Juanita: Ok well I better get out of here , Before I miss the Buss lol

Kendrick: Oh Here , take this I dont have Change , That way you can for that Shake you Got My mouth watering for lol

Juanita: Ok , Bye love you

She Hugs me and gives me a Kiss on the cheek and Walks out the House . I Lock the Door and Head Back up to my Room , I showered then Laid it Down for the Night , I Decided to Call Cameron In the morning , I had a Long Day and Hopefully and Even Longer Day Tomorrow with My Mom , Wow That sounds weird saying it .

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