Jackson State- Part 2 JS2

My Kind Of Love

RJ's POV

The Next Morning I Woke Up with the Worst Hangover , It Felt Like My Head was A Watermelon and Was about to Explode all Over my Room , Which By the way I wasnt Even In My room I was In Ant's ? But Why Tho . I Got Out the Bed and Nearly Fell on my face , I just sat down on the Floor Next to the bed . When I Saw My Wet Clothes laid On the Bathroom Floor , I then Started to Piece together The Events of last Night . I actually Fell asleep On his Front Door Step . I went Into the bathroom and Looked Myself in the Mirror . I looked over at the bathroom and Images Of Ant Cleaning My Drunken Passed Out Ass flashed Through My Mind . I faintly saw That Tear Roll Down his face as he was Cleaning me . The Pain that I managed to Drink away Immediately Came back , Knowing the Pain I caused Him Hurt me Even More . If What I did to Him Didnt make me feel Like shit , Just Knowing that he Took care OF me last night made me Feel like the Scum between Shrek's Toes . I couldnt Help but Smile just a Lil Tho I couldnt bare Being Happy right now , But that Was My Ant the One I fell In love with , After Everything I did to Him and put him threw He Opened us His Door And His heart and We all Know How Icey Ant Can be , To Help me Out . Truth Is I didnt Deserve him . I Put My shoes On and Walked into the Living Room and Nobody Was there . I wanted to thank him but I knew that Probably Would Be Pushing it and I didnt want to Feel his nasty Right Hook Again , So I just left . I went Home Fixed myself something to Eat and Showered Up and Headed out to the Local Tuxedo Shop to Pick Up my Tux For Tonight's banquet , my Mom was suppose to Handle that But After Sending them Packing Early I had to do this On my Own . After Doing Everything For later Tonight I went Home to sleep Off more of that Alcohol.

When I woke Up , I Started Getting Dressed For the Banquet . After Getting All Dressed up , I looked Myself In the Mirror and Such a Sharp Dressed Good Looking Fella Looked back at me . So Handsome and Clean Cut , But On the Inside I felt the Total Opposite , I Felt Like Death . I made My Way to the Banquet and took My seat at the Front Of the Building with The 3 other Chairs Im Guessing Reserved For Jermaine , Dewayne and Coach G . The Banquet Started and the Room was Packed every body Looked Nice . Is Stared out into the Crowd Of the Proud Faces Of the Parent , Friends and Colleagues . Everybody Was here for Somebody But My Section was Empty I was here By Myself It really Hit me Hard that No One was Here to Support me , But I had No One to Blame But Myself Over the last Couple of days Ive Manage to Push Everybody Away . My Family , Friends , Liz , And Now Ant . I pulled out my Phone and stared at a Picture Of Raiya the Only Person I really Had left and Im sure if she was old enough and Understanding she Would Probably hate me Too . Couch G Got up and Made a speech .

Coach G : I think I speak For the Entire University When I say that We are Appreciative Of Our Boys , I mean they Have Carried us Above and Beyond . This Has been a Great season . And This year We have 3 Incredible Guys Who Truly Love this game and I think It shows in their Game . I couldnt Be More Proud If they Were My Own Kids . Come Tomorrow All Three Of them Will be Siging Contracts To Play Overseas . Lets Give them A Hand .

The Crowd erupt With Applauds and Flashes From Camera's I Put On a Fake smile , Shook hands that Night and After the Ceremony was Over , I made an Exit Out the back and Headed Home , I Wasnt In the Mood to be Celebrating . I just Went Home and Crashed Out on the couch . When I get A Knock at the Door , I Open without even Asking Who is It

Jermaine: Wassup Bruh

Rj: Shit

Jermaine: Ima Just be Up Front with this , I heard What Happened , Personally I think Its Some File Shit . But I cant say i didnt See this coming . Im Not here to Even Jump down yo Throat Even Tho I should Be , Im Here to Make sure you You dont Do something Crazy .

Rj; Like

Jermaine: Like Kill Yourself .

Rj: Really , Its good to Know How you really Feel

Jermaine: Dude , Dont act like its Not Possible , Youve manage to Do everything Else , You alienated Your Family and Friends , You Went Off the Deep End with Some Random Ass Dude , So I just Figured you was Gone Go all the Way and Finish It Off

Rj: Naw , Im good On that , I have Been Fucking Up Left and Right lately But I got alot Of issues that I need to Deal with

Jermaine: We All Got Issues My Nigga , We Just Got to be Man Enough To Deal with Them Like Real Men .

Rj: No Offense I Dont Wanna Hear Dis Shit

Jermaine: Cool With me Homie , just Remember When Theres Nobody Left To Push Away , You Gotta Deal with it .

Rj: Jermaine , Wait , Give him this

Jermaine: Nigga You gotta be Out yo mind , Im Trying to Stay out of it , But you Pushing it . Leave Him alone You Done Enough to Him . This where I put my Foot Down as His Big Cousin to End it .

Rj: Im Not Tryna Hurt Him anymore , I just need him to Read this .

He snatches the Note away from Me and walks out the Door , I Flop Down on the couch . and resume watching Tv .


Ant's POV

Im Sitting In the Living Room washing My sheets and Covers , Basically Everything He touched lastnight , yea Im that Immature . I close the Washing Machine Lid and walk back to the couch when somebody Knocks on the Door , I quietly walk over to the Door and Look out the Peep Hole

Jermaine: Open the Door Nigga I see that tiny ass Head Of yours

Ant: Fuck You Nigga lol

Jermaine; Ha Ha Wassup Boy

Ant: Washing , Whats Good . What Brings you this way

Jermaine: I came to make sure you wasnt hanging From the Ceiling Fan lol

Ant: Pulease , Im not that Dramatic , And I prefer the Shower Rod

Jermaine: Lol , But Forreal , I came to Give you This

Ant: What is this , A check

Jermaine: Noooo , Its a Letter

Ant: Of what , From Who

Jermaine: ............

Ant: So You Working For Him Now

Jermaine: Why I gotta be Working For him ?

Ant: because You My Cousin so You shouldnt Be talking to that Nigga Right Now

Jermaine: Dont Do Dat Ant , Cause I warned you about Him and how he can Get crazy Wild and Shit . So Dont Do that

Ant: But Still , You Could At least Consult with me before you bring That Sorry Ass Apology Letter Into My House

Jermaine: Well My bad Bruh , But Do you want it Or Not?

Ant: Nope , You Can Drop it In the trash On Your Way out

Jermaine: Really So you Putting me Out Now

Ant: yeap , You Conversing With the Enemy

Jermaine: Enemy Ant Tiara told me what you did for him Lastnight anyway so Drop that Nonsense

Ant: Damn She Working against Me too

Jermaine: Naw You know she Just cant Hold Water

Ant: Touche

Jermaine; So What you want me to Do with it

Ant: I already told you Nigga , Drop it In the trash Can , In fact Rip it to Shreds and Then Throw it in the trash and take the Trash Out on your way out

Jermaine: Dude You Funny , But For real on some real shit I think you should Read it .

Ant: On Some Real Shit I dont Have time For a Half Ass , Sorry Ass , Thirsty Bottom Fucking Apology .

Jermaine: Aight then , I tried

Jermaine turns around and drops the Letter in the trash and walks out the door , I told you to RIp it to shreds I screamed at him and he Threw the Middle finger with a big ass smile on his face . I locked the door , and looked down at the Envelope with My name Written On it . I rolled my eyes and went layed on the couch and Turned the Tv On As Im watching Tv I couldnt Keep my eyes From wondering Over to the trashcan . An Hour Went By and I couldnt help but Think about what that Letter said , I Just couldnt Allow Myself to Read that Bullshit , buuuuut Maybe If I read it I could Get upset all Over again and then It will Give me a Reason to Slap the taste Of Rj's Dick Out of Travontae's Mouth yea that was the Excuse I going with For reading the Letter . I walked over to the TrashCan and picked up the Letter and Opened it and Unfolded the Letter .

Dear Anthony .

I Know Im the Last Person You Wanna hear From , But I Need You to Know I Never meant to Hurt You . This Isnt An Apology Letter so Dont Rip it Up Just yet . Uhhhh Where Do I start , First I would Like to Thank You For the Other Night , What You Did for me Lastnight Just Solidifies My Decision , To Back away From you . Your Too Good Of a Person For Someone Like me As Much as you want to be Cold Hearted Lets Face it Your Not . Your A good Person , and You Deserve someone Who Can be Upfront and One Hundred all the time , and Lately I havent been For a while Which Kills me because you Deserve So Much More than what Ive Given you . Like I said this isnt an Apology Letter I Just Simply want you to know that What I was Going Threw Had Nothing to Do with you , You Did Everything You Could For me and I appreciate It , You Wanted to Be there for me , But I Just couldnt Let you . There was Nothing You Did Wrong that Made me Want to stray away From Us and what we Had , It was Something In Me that was Wrong , Broken , and Looking For Validation . It Truly wasnt You It was Me I Fucked Up our Relationship , When i look Back On everything we Went threw I dont regret it , because It made You Into the Person you are today , Throughout all those Trials and Tribulations , You Survived and Came out Stronger Making you Into the Person you are today , A Loving , Caring , Kind Human Being , One Day You Will Find somebody Who's Just as Kind and Loving and Will Appreciate You . Im Sorry But Right Now I just Cant be that Person . The Only thing I ask Is you Never question If My heart beats Only for you Because It always has and More than Likely always Will . Goodbye Anthony Take Care R.J


I Balled the Letter Up , and Just Sat there , Speechless . I thought For sure This was going to be an Im sorry , I'll never do it again type Letters But it wasnt . I thought I would Be Filled with Rage and Anger , But I wasnt If anything I was More Confused . A Single Tear Fell From My Right Eye and I quickly wiped it Away . I took a Deep breath and Grabbed My Keys . I didnt Know Why I was Going there , I just Went , I didnt Know what I was going to do or say when I made it But I Went Anyway . I Knocked On the Door and He opened and Looked at me Like I was the Ghost Of Boyfriend's Past .

Rj: Ant

Ant: What Is this ?

Rj: A Letter , I couldnt tell You so I wrote It Down .

Ant: I know Its A Letter , But What Is This .. YOU DONT GET TO BREAK UP WITH ME . YOU CHEATED

Rj: I know

Ant: I Know , Thats It ! I wanted So Bad to Punch You And that Little Faggot's Lights Out . But You Do Something Like this

Rj: Im Not tryna play Mind Games With you . I Meant Every Word I said In that Letter .

Ant: You Are A Work Of Art , I dont Believe It .

Rj: Fine

Ant: Do you Know How Embarrassed I am ? HUH How Humiliated I am . Im Not Even Angry That You Fucked His tonsils Loose . Its Hurts that After Everything Weve Been Threw You Feel Like You Cant come to Me , with your Problems you Had to Go to A Random Ass Nigga Who Took advantage Of your State Of Mind .

Rj: Im Sorry

Ant: DONT SAY YOUR SORRY !

Rj: ...........

Ant: You Wanted To Take a Walk On the Wild side , What Does that Even Mean HUH

Rj: Ant

Ant: Rj , You Really Have Life Fucked Up Dont you , NEWS FLASH Your not the Only who Changed , Your Not the ONLY ONE Who gave Up A Piece Of themselves to Be in this Relationship . Ive Change to ya Know . Sure The Way We used to Be was Fun , There was always something to do Somebody to Fuck , But were Not Kid anymore RJ YOU HAVE A CHILD .

Rj: Dont You think I know All of this

Ant: Apparently Not , If Everybody Handled Their Problems Like you then the World Would Be one Fucked Up Place . If IIIIIII JUST Took it Upon Myself to Deal with this By Going Out getting Drunk And Fucking the First Hot Guy I seen . How Stupid Does that Sound .

Rj: It sounds ......

Ant: SHUT THE FUCK UP , You had Plenty Of time to Express Your Self RJ Its My Turn to Talk .

Rj: If Your Just Gone YELL THEN LEAVE

Ant: Really

Rj: YEA LEAVE ! Cause I got too Much On To Fucking Deal With Right Now , Im Having A Psychological Melt Down and So Much Shit From the Past that you Have No Fucking Idea About . IM SICK IM FUCKING SICK . I NEED HELP . I Need Help . YOu Have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT GOES ON INSIDE , IT JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING AND GOING , AND IT WONT STOP IT WONT GO AWAY .

Just seeing him snap like that , Made me stop And Realize that something Might Actually be wrong with him , Ive Never seen him like this , he's always seemed to have it together But watching HIm now Is like watching a sweater Unravel . Something was seriously bothering Him and He Needed Help real Help . I know its common For people to Act out When Drastic Changes happen in their Lives , But Graduating and Being Forced to face the Real world a World without Him playing Basketball isnt enough to send Him over Board Like that . I Walked over to Him sitting on the couch with his Hand Pressed against his head .

Anthony: Its Ok , Its Ok . Im here If You need Help We Can Get Help . If thats what YOu really Need then I'll Help you

Rj: Why Would You help me

Ant: because I love you , And I cant Leave you Like this , Im Scared For you .

Rj: Thank You

Ant: But this Doesnt Mean , Im Staying With you , We can get the Help you Need , I can be there For You But I cant Be there with You . After What You did I Can Never take you back , But I wont turn My back on you . Not Now .

I just Sat there with My Arm around him . I couldnt Stand HIm For what He did to me , In fact I hated Him He Disgusted Me , But 3 Years Cant Be erased In 3 days . Although I couldnt Stay with Him That Night , I prayed For him , I prayed that Whatever It was he was Going through He Find Peace With it , Soon , Before Everything He's Worked for Is Gone . Weve been at this Point Several times Break up to Make up , But this time it was different I really Felt It In My Bones there was No More Ant And Rj .