I'm A Loser

Tell Me What You See

Liz woke up from her nap and realized Paul had carried her to her bed. She could hear Paul talking to someone on the phone.

"Thank you." Paul said and hung up.

Paul quietly came into Liz's room not knowing if she was awake.

"How's George?" She asked urgently.

"Surgery went okay; they're keeping him for at least two weeks though."

"What? Why?" Liz asked shocked.

"The surgery isn't always perfect right after it happens so they're just gonna monitor him, alright?" Paul explained.

Liz nodded, uncomfortable with the idea of George being stuck in a hospital for two weeks.

"Hey I wanna show you something." Paul said as he pulled out John's notebook. "I don't know how I didn't see this before but I was reading this before I went to bed last night and John has a little picture in the back of the book.

Paul showed Liz the drawing.

John was singing,

Paul and George were sharing a mic,

and his friend, Pete, was playing drums.

The title of the drawing, scribbled out in messy hand writing, said, "The Beatles."

"The Beatles?" Liz asked.

"Yea." Paul said with a smile. "I like it."

"Me too." Liz smiled back.

Liz looked at the drawing closely. She laughed.

"What?"

"He drew little hearts around you and on your bass." Liz explained.

"Really?" He asked, snatching the book.

"Yea."

Paul looked at the drawing longer.

"What have I done?" Paul asked, terrified.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't believe I let myself fall for Linda when John loved me and I love him so much. This isn't right." Paul said frightened.

"Paul, what are you saying?"

"I can't be with Linda. I can't be with anyone." Paul said as his lip began to tremble.

"Paul, I've never seen anyone more in love than you and Linda. John would want you to be happy, wouldn't he?" Liz tried to persuade him.

"I guess..." Paul said as he began to scratch his wrist.

"Don't do it." Liz warned him.

Paul looked at her with begging eyes.

"Don't you dare. Please Paul."

Paul jumped from the bed and tried to lock himself in the bathroom. Liz managed to grab the door handle before he locked it. She waited from the outside for a few seconds and bolted in when she heard the sound of metal. Paul was inches away from breaking skin when Liz snatched the blade, cutting herself by accident before throwing it in the toilet.

"NO!" Paul yelled as Liz flushed it.

"Dammit, Liz!" Paul screamed angrily.

Liz didn't defend herself this time and let Paul hit her.

He slapped her back and pushed her against the wall. And slapped her in the face again. Paul grabbed her by the neck and Liz's eyes widened in fear.

"Paul" she cried.

Paul's grip loosened. Liz relaxed a little and Paul had begun to cry.

"What the hell have I done? I did it again!" Paul screamed at himself and slammed his head on the wall.

Liz wanted to help him but she couldn't get a word out because of her crying.

"Liz." Paul whimpered.

Liz tried to get away from Paul out of fear that he was going to hit her.

"Liz please! I'm sorry!" He cried.

Liz cornered herself and fell in the corner. Paul slowly walked to her and Liz was shaking all over.

"Paul, I'm sorry; don't hit me." She begged.

Paul wanted to kill himself at the idea of Liz thinking he was going to hurt her.

"Lizzy." He cried.

He touched Liz's waist and pulled her up.

"Where does it hurt?" Paul asked her.

Liz motioned to her back.

Paul carefully unbuttoned her shirt and took it off. He looked at her bare back and saw it was red and swollen. He placed a hand near the swollen area and Liz whimpered. He slowly moved his hand to the swollen area and Liz moaned. Paul gently stepped closer to Liz and placed his chest on Liz's back and wrapped his arms around her bare stomach.

Liz slowly relaxed and the pain went away for a while. Paul kissed her neck. He hummed her song.

"Paul?" Liz asked.

"Yes, Dear."

"Can we just forget about George and Linda for the next week or so cuz I don't think I'll make it without someone."

"Anything for you, Miss Lizzy." Paul smiled and kissed her.