I'm A Loser

I've Had Enough

Paul woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of the phone. He slowly got out of bed so that he wouldn't wake up Liz and Julian.

"Hello?" He asked yawning.

"Paul." Linda sighed.

"Linda? What's wrong?"

"I got into a car accident." She admitted.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Paul asked frantically.

"Um... My arm's pretty banged up but I'm too scared to go to the hospital."

"Why?"

"My parents are gonna kill me if they find out." She said nervously.

"No they won't!"

"But if they find out I got hurt in New York, they won't dare to let me go all the way back to Liverpool!" She explained.

Paul's mouth opened but no words came out.

"Wait, Linda, who was driving? You don't have a license yet." Paul asked confused.

"Uh..."

"Linda?!" Paul asked, angrily.

"His name's Joseph." She admitted nervously.

"What- what were you doing with him?" Paul asked.

"He took me to dinner." Linda said quietly.

"But-"

"Paul I'm sorry!" She tried to apologize.

"Is this how it's gonna be? Moving back to New York...was that to start over? What about me?" Paul began to whimper.

"Paul, I love you."

"Well then what about this Joseph? What's he to you?"

"He-he's just a friend."

"Really?"

"I'm sorry." Linda began to cry.

"I can't believe you!" Paul screamed.

"Pau-"

Paul hung up the phone and went to his room so that he didn't disturb Liz and Julian.

Paul had been crying on his bed for a while when Liz knocked on the door. She opened it quietly and turned on a lamp.

"Paul? Why are you crying?" She asked, worried.

"Linda was with someone else and she got in a car accident."

"Is she okay?" Liz asked as she sat down next to Paul.

"I don't know..." Paul began to say. "I told he to go to the hospital but she said her parents would kill her if she found out. And then she admitted that this guy she went to dinner with had been driving." He cried.

"Paul..." Liz said and hugged him.

"I just thought Linda was...was y'know the one I wanted to be with."

"I know, Love." Liz said and held onto him.

"You never know, maybe Linda was just trying to get used to New York. I bet that guy didn't matter to her." Liz tried to comfort her.

"But-"

"Don't worry, Love. She'll be back. When she realizes what a great guy you are, she'll be back." Liz said and kissed him on the cheek.

"I wish every bird was like you." Paul managed a smile and kissed her back.

He touched her nose with his and she giggled.

"Haven't heard that in a while." Paul smiled.

They looked at each other for a few seconds and then Paul leaned in and gave her a slow kiss. The kiss broke when Julian began to cry. The two hurried to the other room and Paul cradled Julian.

"Daddy." He mumbled.

"Hey beautiful boy." Paul smiled.

"Mummy?" Julian called out.

Paul looked at Liz, worried about what to do. Liz's eyes widened when she heard the word.

Paul quickly offered his finger to Julian and the baby quickly grasped onto it.

Julian fell asleep again and Paul and Liz went back to the other room.

"What are we gonna do when Julian's old enough to want to know about his parents?" Paul asked.

"We'll tell him."

"But, he'll find out I was with John when he died; he'll find out it was my fault." Paul said worried.

"It's not your fault, Love. I promise you." Liz assured him as she brushed his hair back and put her chin on his shoulder.

"Y'know...I forget he's gone sometimes, and then reality hits and it's that day all over again." Paul admitted as he held onto her hips.

"Me too."

"Then why do you seem so happy all the time?" Paul asked.

"I'm not even close to happy most of the time now, I just don't show that cause I don't want you or George or Julian to see anyone upset. You all are under enough stress already, I wouldn't want to make it worse." Liz explained.

"I wish I could be like you." Paul whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"No you don't." Liz told him and tried to step back.

Paul pulled her back by the waist and she gave in. Paul gave her little kisses around her neck.

"Wanna head back to bed, Darling?" Paul asked.

Liz nodded and they went back to the other room. They laid on either side of the bed; surrounding Julian.

"Goodnight." Liz whispered.

"See you in the morning, Love." Paul replied and the two fell asleep.