I'm A Loser

My Love

Paul and Liz were eating breakfast and Julian was still sleeping.

"Something wrong?" Liz asked, seeing that Paul was just staring at the pancakes in front of him.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Do you want something else?"

"No..." He said. "C-can I have some of those pills?"

"Do you really need them?" Liz asked, hoping he wouldn't.

He nodded his head.

Liz went upstairs to get the pills. She came back and handed him two of the white tablets.

"Thanks, Love."

"Do you wanna do something today? Y'know...get things off your mind." Liz offered.

Paul shrugged his shoulders again.

"Well we're not sitting around all day, I'll tell ya that." Liz said. "Let's take Julian to the creak."

Paul's head went up a little when he heard Julian's name.

"It'll be nice." Liz smiled.

"Okay." Paul agreed and followed Liz to go get ready.

After they got ready, they dressed Julian.

"Hey, Sweetie." Liz smiled as she fit his little shirt on.

"Say 'hi' to Daddy." Liz giggled as she turned Julian to Paul who was combing his hair.

"Daddy!" Julian laughed.

"Hey, Bud." Paul tried to pull off a smile. "Wanna go to the creek today, Jules?"

Julian's eyes beamed with delight when Paul talked to him, even if he didn't have any idea what he was saying.

Paul kissed the baby's nose and picked him up.

The three headed out and walked to a trail nearby. Julian was in a stroller and giggled whenever there was a little bump in the pathway. They reached the creak and they were all alone. They settled under a nearby tree and laid out blankets. Julian crawled around and watched the little bugs in the grass.

Now that Linda had supposedly found someone else, Paul started to see Liz as more than a friend again. Liz found a ladybug and showed it to Julian who laughed and smiled at the little red dot on Liz's finger. Liz put the ladybug on Julian's nose and the two laughed. Paul watched how gentle and loving Liz was to John's son. The ladybug flew away and Julian laughed and looked for another. Liz walked back to Paul and sat next to him.

"He's so darling." Liz said cheerfully.

Paul nodded in agreement.

"I wish John could see him like this." Paul said.

"I'm sure he's watching over us." Liz smiled and looked at the sky.

Paul got closer to Liz and she looked at him. They locked eyes and Paul leaned in to kiss her.

"Paul!" She exclaimed.

Paul looked at her confused.

"I know you and Linda are separate right now but I'm still with George." Liz said.

"But...we kissed last night." Paul said embarrassed.

"Yea but that was different." Liz tried to explain.

"Oh..."

"Paul I love you and I'd do anything for you but I don't wanna ruin the most amazing friendship I've ever had." Liz tried to say without hurting Paul.