The Dance

Chapter 42 Alone

Kay, Kenny and Matt had gone into town later that evening for a little respite from the drama of Lila's memory loss. The fair was wrapping up in Hoonah and the culmination of the event was the annual dance. Bam volunteered to stay behind and keep an eye on the sleeping Lila. As long as she was sleeping, things would be alright because she couldn't ask questions. Bam grabbed his camera bag and found his portfolio shoved in there. He pulled it out of the bag and flipped through the pictures stopping at the ones he had recently added from he and Lila's first date from the hike. They were so happy in the picture. Everything between them was new and fresh and now everything was messy and complicated. He flipped through the photos of her sleeping and of her purple birthday surprise pictures. He loved photographing her as she was a beautiful subject. The photos only reminded him of the distance that existed between them now. Not knowing if she would ever return to him in her mind was a hard realization.

Bam threw the portfolio on the table and decided to head upstairs for a hot shower to wash away his insecurities. Lila was still asleep when he entered the bathroom. The start of his shower had stirred Lila from her sleep. She had been out for hours and her head still hurt. She walked to the kitchen to get some more aspirin and found the house empty with the exception of whoever was in the shower. Lila poured herself a cup of coffee and moved to the sofa to watch some television. As she reached for the remote, she noticed the leather bound book on the table. She exchanged the remote for the book and began to page through the photos. She recognized the family photos almost immediately of Bird and Rain and the other members of Matt's family. She turned the page and found Joshua staring back at her. She traced the line of his face with her finger. There was something oddly familiar about him but she couldn't remember why. It was the next few pictures that caused a visceral reaction in Lila. On the next page was the picture Bam had taken of them together on their first date. Lila flipped to another page and saw a photo of herself sleeping. Her stomach hurt now and she slammed the book shut.

The pain in her head became more intense as her hands flew to her temples. Images came flooding back like water over a burst dam. She saw flashes of her father, of Bradley, of Matt and of Joshua all mixing together but not making any sense. She could hear conversations in her head that she didn't understand. Her perspective was fogged by a series of sounds, smells, voices, and pictures.

Bam peeked in Lila's room but did not find her there. He hurried to the main room and found her sitting next to the portfolio. She looked at Bam and flung the portfolio at him. "Why do you have pictures of me sleeping in your book? Why are you here? Where's Matt?"

All the emotions of the past two days exploded from Bam in a stream of expletives followed by the only words Lila heard, "because I'm your boyfriend not Matt." He flung his portfolio back at Lila and yelled, "Finish looking at it. There's a reason you're in there! You sleep with me, you make love to me, you're everything to me."

Lila flipped through the remainder of the portfolio. There were pictures of her just as described and they were intimate pictures.

"I don't understand." Lila began to cry.  "Why don't I remember? Why don't I remember you?"

Bam walked over and sat beside her pulling her to his chest as she sobbed uncontrollably. In some small way he was relieved the truth had come out but the issue still wasnt resolved. She didn't remember him.