Merlin imagines

Lancelot- Perfectly Fine

All Hallows Eve, the night of the year many say. The kingdom of Logress is throwing their annual ball with feats and dancing and many many drinking games. As the princess I am expected to dance with every noble man and smile and laugh like my own kingdom is not running itself into ruin. And as the princess I will do as I am told but for my own reasons, as for tonight I need to forget. 

"If you will excuse me." Watching the nobles incline their heads I left their chattering circle, a certain knight of Camelot catching my eye as his armour shone in the moonlight. King Arthur stood in front of the knight, bowing his head as I neared the group. 

"King Arthur, what a pleasure to see you and your Knights." I smiled widely, the gesture hurting my cheeks, curtsying in front of the King. 

"Oh please, the pleasure is all mine your highness." He took my hand, pressing his cold lips against my skin. I wanted to shudder from his touch, to hide in the corner and forget, but I smiled and inclined my head in a bow. 

"Please, join us in the festivities." I opened my arms, smoothly releasing it from his hold, gesturing to the ball behind. 

The king, followed by his knights, walked into the room one Knight in particular purposely looking in my eye as he walked past. His gaze was soft and kind, something not many men posses, and he smiled the corners of his lips upturning at the ends. I lowered my eyes, an involuntarily blush creeping onto my cheeks but with one simple glare from my father I walked away from the Knight. 

All night long I drank, I smiled and I danced. My hands against those of another, my body being presses up against a stranger. The feeling of their skin on mine only brought back memories of the past, memories I longed more than anything to forget. Every time I tried to escape, to lock myself in my room and cry, my father would glare at me telling me that I should stay put. 

Not one king noticed my discomfort, not one noble or even servant, only a Knight whose eyes had me following me across the room. After hours upon hours of relentless smiling an dancing I made my escape, my heart pounding against my chest as I ran across the halls the tears already on my cheeks. 

I leant against the cold wall contrasting my hot skin as memories flooded back in waves, the lot of them washing over me, drowning me suffocating me until I was gasping for breath. 

I knew that the man was not really there, he is simply a memory of long ago, but the feeling of his hands running up my thighs still haunts me and causes my stomach to twist with nashua. 

"Princess?"

I sniffed, squeezing my eyes shut as if I could hide the tears, before turning my head to the side so the man could not see my stained facial features. 

"Tell my father I will be in shortly." I winced at my own lie, the words too cracked to even remotely from the truth. 

"I have not come for your father." The voice was soft, as if he was talking to a child. "Princess is everything okay?" 

"Yes, yes, everything is fine." It was if that final lie cracked me. I fell to the floor. sobs racking through my body as I pushed my flowing hair back. The pain was unbearable, the crushing memories making it hard to breathe. The knight leant forward, his arms out to pull me into his chest but I recoiled at his touch. "NO!" I screamed, my arms and legs scrambling to push myself away. "Please do not touch me." 

"Your highness please allow me to fetch someone." The poor knight looked helpless as I cried, my hands over my mouth to muffle to the sobs escaping. 

"Just stay here." I breathed, closing my eyes begging the memories to go away. "I cannot bare another noble man's touch on my waist, it only brings back the past." 

"Forgive me for asking Princess," I cringed away from the Knight, knowing the question on his lips before he even spoke. "But were you raped?"

I looked away, the silence between us being an answer enough for the knight. 

"What is your name?" I questioned, my voice as soft as the pillows my chambers. 

"Lancelot, my lady." 

"Well, Lancelot, this must not go another further than between us is that understood?" My voice was desperately trying to be strong and yet it still sounded feeble and weak. 

"Of course." He nodded, the sound of his shuffling feet caused me to look up, seeing him trying to move away. 

"Forgive me for sounding improper but please do not leave me," I spoke out, the words falling from my mouth before I could stop them. "I do not think I can bare being alone right now." 

Nodding Lancelot sat down net to me, his back against the wall beside me, and silence drifted over us. The only sound was our breathing, the air transmitting from our mouths to the air around us. I yawned, my back sliding slightly down the wall, enough for my arm to brush against hit. Normally the contact of a man would cause sickness to roll over my body but instead it only sent simple but electrifying tingles down my arm. 

"May I- May I try something?"

Lancelot nodded, his eyes looking down at me. I slowly placed my head on his shoulder, slowly wrapping his arm around my waist. No sickness, no memories arose from his touch and I smiled softly. 

"You alright princess?" Lancelot words were so soft, so full of concern I nodded leaning forward to place a peck of a kiss to his cheek. 

"For once I am perfectly fine."