Merlin imagines

Arthur- Forever

I nervously paced the halls of the castle. Emotions tore through my core, wrecking my soul, as I imagined every worst case scenario possible. Gauis was watching me, I could feel it, but nothing would stop me from worrying.

"Arthur will be fine," Gauis reassured but my gut wrenched with fear. An angry and determined expression was carved into my face, to hide my feelings inside, but I could tell that Gauis reading me like a book. "So will Merlin."

"They have to be." I clenched my jaw desperately trying to hide my tears from the world, including myself. I kept nodding to myself, convincing my soul that they were both fine, until hope started to shine through me. "What's the worst that could happen?"

If only I knew

Footsteps rushed throughout the castle, majority seemed to be heading in my direction, and I rejoiced at the hope of having news. Leon rushed up the stairs, his face flushed, blindly ignoring the grief striked across his facial features.

"Are they back?" I questioned my eyes widening as I went to the window to search for any signs of the boys. "Are they home?"

"Arthur- he-" Leon started and I shook my head tears already threatening to spill.

"No." I whispered, every part of my being in denial.

"He is gone." Leon's voice was filled with his own pain but I was too grief stricken to notice.

"You're lying." I raised a shaking hand, accusingly pointing a finger at him. "Why are are you lying?" I cried throwing myself into him my fists pounding against his chest. His fingers easily snaked around my wrists holding me back as I fell against him.

Pain like no other struck me, causing me to crumble against Leon, as I started to sob. I screamed, the pain in my chest wanting to burst as I felt myself fall to the floor. My hands clutched at my hair, gripping so tightly I almost pulled the roots out of my scalp, but the pain was no where close to numbing everything else.

Both Leon and Gauis were kneeling infant of me, their hands on my elbows trying to lift me up, but I stumbled as they tried to lift me upwards. The world around me spun as pain, pain and more pain hit me square in the chest. 

My throat tightens and I start to gasp for breath, my stomach churns as yet another wave of nausea sweeps through me. 

"My lady," Gauis whispers pulling me upright. "Merlin wants to meet you." I nodded, too numb to even answer. 

What was in reality hours only felt like a few seconds and I soon found myself in the edge of the woods surrounded by the lake. I climbed off the horse to see Merlin kneeling beside a boat. At the sight of me Merlin teared up and as did I at the sight of him. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were stained with his tears. My eyes drifted to the boat next to him and I slowly walked forward towards it. 

"Y/n-" Leon started but I cut him off raising a shaking hand. Ever so slowly I walked forward until I found myself directly in front of the boat. There lay Arthur, still and unmoving and as pale as I've never seen him before. Merlin had positioned his hands so they're linked together over his stomach. I fell to my knees before the boat, new tears streaming down my face. Merlin kneeled down beside me, and I fell against him. His arms draped around my shoulders as I silently sobbed. With a gentle squeeze to my shoulders Merlin stood. I stood with him, brushing Arthur's hair back before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead as my thoughts hit me like a truck. 

I always thought I would have forever with Arthur but I realise now that forever isn't long enough. I wish I would have told Arthur I love him more, I wished I would have hugged him, kissed him more. I wished I would have done so much more for so much more time but now I can't. And I never can again. 

I guess nothing can truly last forever.