Troubled [h.s.]

96

You guys, do yourselves a favor and watch these vines of harry:

https://vine.co/v/iZFWPaU00hX

https://vine.co/v/iWt6armBE6J

Its 10 pm when I find myself sitting alone on my table. Jordan who is supposed to be my date has gone off to the open food bar, the rest of the people sitting on the round table are dancing alongside William and Gemma.

Their vows made everyone cry. I was too focused on Harry to focus on the words but all I had to do to shed a few tears was to open the jar of feelings I store in my chest and I was better than Meryl Streep.

Then they had their first dance and everyone cried again. After that, there was the photoshoot and Harry was there. Watching from the corners.

I haven't seen Harry since and I am halfway through a champagne bottle so might as well not.

"Where is he?" Speak of the devil, Harry pulls Jordan's chair and sits in his place, right in front of me.

"The man I thought you were is long gone if you are asking about him. If not, Jordan is getting food." I tip the champagne glass to collect the sweet juice left inside of it.

"Thats enough." Harry grabs the glass and bottle from my grasp. He puts them down onto the table.

"Hey, go away. Give me back my booze." I stand up to retrieve whats mine but the ten shots from earlier and half a bottle hits me hard and I fall onto his lap.

Just in time, he puts the bottle down and grasps me so we don't fall off the chair together.

His hands feel around my waist and I push my hands against his chest to steady myself. My heart races as we are only inches away from each other and our skins touching.

Then I come back to myself, fiercely stand up and try to push all the images formed in my head away.

"I am sorry." He says just as I start to walk away.

"I am sorry for the pain I caused you. I never meant for any of that. " His voice cracks and something in my heart chirps. He is married. I need to walk away now.

"I didn't lie to you about what I felt. You don't know now but if someday if our paths cross again you'll know why. You'll know that my heart still belongs with you." He looks down and I can feel my tears forming at the edge of my eyes.

Everyone is focused on their dancing, leaving me and Harry private at the corner.

"Is this your way of showing it? Leaving me to marry someone else?! Bringing her to a wedding you know I am coming! Who does that?" I try my best not to scream.

"I didn't bring Allison! Are you insane?! I brought Kimberly with me because you were too revolted by me to calm me around my family. Without you she is the next best thing." He coos. His voice is so soft yet so demanding.

He says he needs me basically. In my twisted way, I feel happy about it.

"Don't apologize to me. Thats something you do when you bump into someone. Not when you cut deep holes in them!" My dress flares and my legs come into display as I march across him. He definitely realizes it and stares but turns to me when I stop inches away from his face.

"We never ended. We were left halfway through and I swear to god Harry, this hurts so much more. And I don't mind the time I lost, can you give me trust to love again?! Hell, I don't even know how to love anybody but you because I denied love all together before you. And Harry I am tired. I am tired of my heart twisting every time I see you or hear your voice. I am tired of being this sad. I am tired of pretending like I am not broken inside and smiling on the outside. I am tired of myself. My expectations, my past, my heart breaks. Its too much." I start to cry. Harry closes the space between us and collects the tears with his fingers then rests his hands on my cheeks.