Troubled [h.s.]

39

That day we go to Brooklyn bridge and walk all the way to Brooklyn then get on the Manhattan Bridge with a taxi and go back to Manhattan basically. Harry buys me my first bubble tea there and then we go to Pier 17 and drink our bubble teas. Boba is very delicious its turns out.

The next day, he takes me to the observatory as promised and its amazing. Its a 360 of the whole city and I almost pass out. Its so beautiful and the skyline leaves me breathless. After that, we go to chinatown and get sushi after getting off the subway on canal st. We find a small Japanese restaurant and have noodles, sushi and tempura chicken with ginger ale. He then takes me to see Little Italy and we walk around, sight seeing. Its so cute and beautiful. Then we go to a small pub in Manhattan with Jacob and Tim joining us.

"This is like our inn. Its where we always drank. They sell underage. This was our sacred place in high school!" Tim talks over the barstools as Jacob eats some nuts.

"Jacob used to date the bartender, thats when we got all of our drinks free or our first rounds free at least!" Harry continues as a men fills up four shots in front of me. Everyone takes one and we lift them for a toast.

"To New York City and having my buddy back!" Jacob says and we are about to drink it when Harry stops us.

"To my lads and to my girl!" He says and Tim starts to hoo when we all drink it. Tim and Harry clear their throat and cough while Jacob looks like he got kicked in the balls from the strong tequila while I am not effected. They all look at me like an alien.

"Damn girl" Jacob says as he gestures for another round. They fill them up and we drink it. Then some more and some more.

Somewhere around three in the morning, Tim takes a picture of us. Harry closing his face, the bartender creeping from the side and me, drunk shitless. Jacob is shirtless on the table in front of us so he is not in the shot.

Its a fucked up night and I find myself depressed again. I am not a easy or romantic drunk, I think way too much then I usually do when I drink.

What if he wants kids? I can't give that to him. What if he choses to stay here with his pals? Does that mean I have to go back without him? What if he realizes this care free life is better than what I give him? What if I am the worst girlfriend ever? I know I don't deserve him but I am too selfish to let him go. What if he realizes I am too bad for him? Will he leave me? What is Rose doing?

I pick up my phone and realize I am on Zayn's contact. I used to call him in these situations or Liam. They were my only friends and family. Now, I have no one to confide in, no one to pick me up except Harry. I have no parents that guide me on right path nor some friends to help me out. I have a boyfriend that will leave me soon enough and a sister who is too young for anything.

"You okay?" I see a new face in front of me who is concerned. It has a British accent and its not Harry. I squint and its Zayn. That can't be right. How many drinks did I have?

"Zayn! I am feeling so bad. What if he leaves me?" Words fumble out of my mouth without any explanation but he seems to understand me fully.

"If he leaves you, you are never going to forget him. You are always going to love the color of his eyes, and you are always going to search for someone with the same contagious laugh. You are never going to fully get over him. You are going to have nights when all the pain and regret comes flushing back. You are going to miss him with all your heart but my dear Sky, you are going to okay." He says and pushes a strand away from my face. The tear drops in my eyes run down my cheeks and I realize he is true. It also strikes me that what he just said applies to him leaving my life too. I love Zayn, he is my brother but I will be okay.