Troubled [h.s.]

13

The music booms and bangs on my ear drums while Harry holds my hand even tighter. I move along the crowd first, creating space for Harry to follow. We dodge, kneel, tip toe and a combination of all of them to get through to crowd to either find drinks or an empty space.

Liam catches my eye on the corner so I decide to make my way to him, having Harry follow me too.

"Brought your shit." I whisper when I reach from behind him which makes him scared for a moment but he recovers quickly and turns to face us.

"Hey!" He yells so we can hear him through the music and I respond by hugging him tightly. When he lets me go he hugs Harry while I take the bags out of my pockets and walk to the coffee table to display them so people can use it.

Liam and Harry are trying to have a conversation when I see them across the room. I decide to get both of us drinks before returning so I get back in the crowd that is dancing in a fairly small room to shitty music. I find the drink table easy since Liam never changed its location and start to make drinks. I make myself a cherry vodka while I pour whiskey to Harry's cup. I know he likes it.

I take both cups and I am about to enter the crowd again when a hand stops me.

"Zayn!" I say and turn around to hug him. He returns the hug and smiles at me with bright eyes when we let each other go.

"Saw your fucking boyfriend." he jokes and gently pushes me on the shoulder. I never thought about my relationship with Harry and I don't know if Harry says 'girlfriend' about me. Probably not. I take a sip of the vodka before answering.

"He is not my boyfriend." I say and gulp down my cup. I don't let Zayn answer and walk to the drink table again, having him follow me. I make myself another cherry vodka and start to sip it when Zayn acknowledges my discomfort.

"I assumed..." he tries to make up for it but I take another gulp before answering. Relationships freak me out and my constant paranoia that Harry wouldn't want me, fucks me up.

"Its okay." I lie and drink the whiskey I prepared for Harry. Zayn soothingly rubs my arm to provide some support.

"You want to get out? The roof is free. We can drink." he grabs the vodka bottle from me and smiles again with bright eyes. I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't have to come to this party either but its too late.

"Let me tell Harry." I leave Zayn there and start to search the crowd for those green eyes and curly hair. I can't seem to find him. What if he left? What if he is with another girl? What if is he fucking another girl in one of the rooms?

My hand reaches one of the handles when I can't see him anywhere in the crowd. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I walk in on him with someon else. Instead, I back away and go find Zayn.

He welcomes me with warm brown eyes and wraps his arm around me while I guide him to the trap door that leads to the roof. I have stayed over Liam and spent days here more than I did in each of my foster homes. I know every nook and crook and I love this old dump. Its small, funny smelling but its a place I would call home.

I look back to the crowd one last time before opening the trap door and get out on the crisp night air. I don't see Harry nor Liam and I don't want to assume the worst but I do. Harry is bored of me. Harry has finally seen the truth. Harry doesn't want me anymore. Harry... God damn it.

Zayn takes his leather jacket off and hands it me to wear. I wear it as we sit down on the edge of the roof and have our legs hang freely. I look down then get chills and look back up at the skyline while Zayn opens the bottle.

"I used to have so game. Chicks hanged over my arms two by two, begged me to fuck them." Zayn murmurs as he takes the first sip and clears his throat from the bitter alcohol then hands the bottle to me.