Troubled [h.s.]

45

Drag me down is lit.

All I do is wear the helmet he hands me then get on the bike behind him. I wrap myself around his firm body and lean across his back as he gets going. The wind doesn't hit me since he blocks me and I seem to be able to shut the noise out.

This melody comes to my ear. Its not very slow, it has a beat. The idea of songwriting and letting all this anger out in that way seems appealing. I knew how to play the piano since my mom thought me but I don't know if I still can. I don't have time for it either. Besides, who is gonna listen to them?

"You ok?" Louis asks me since I never moved since we started driving. I nod, my cheek pushed onto his back and he feels that and continues to ride.

I slept for like 5 hours after an exhausting drive and I woke to dead Jack. Its been a hard day. Louis seems to make it easier. I didn't know what to do when I was sitting on the sidewalk. Everything seemed pointless.

We stop and I look around, realizing we are just outside Seattle. I have never been here before. Its a grave yard. It has a few Italian Oak trees which is interesting for a graveyard. They are beautiful trees and I feel better walking under them.

"How do you know all this?" I ask when Louis guides me to the exact grave. I look at him for the first time today. He is wearing this grey Burberry coat and a familiar colored shirt underneath. He has these form fitting jeans underneath and he looks nice, I guess. He looks expensive for damn sure.

Me on the other hand, am wearing this turtle neck shirt that has 'RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY' written in bold letters across it. It was something I stole because I thought the idea of it was cool. That was three years ago. Now, its like my pjs. Under that, I am wearing yoga pants and sneakers. My hair is tied up in a small pony tail and I am wearing no make up, bags sagging under my eyes.

"I still know people." He chuckles then stops, turns me to and his face holds pain. I look behind him and there is fresh dirt, mounted onto this grave. There is a cardboard where a grave stone should be and it reads 'Beloved father and protector to many, Jack... 1964-2014'

I gets tears into my eyes and I realize we don't know Jack's last name.

"He doesn't even have a gravestone. He gave us everything he had and he doesn't even have a gravestone." I start crying and I realize I fell on the floor when Louis holds me and pulls me up.

"Did you spend all that money I gave you and Harry?" Louis eyes me and I am in shock. I forgot about that, completely.

My jaw falls to the ground, knowing I have that in the bank. I have Harry's share too and that doesn't feel right. He trusted me so much that had his money transferred to my bank account. I didn't trust him enough to assume he did not cheat in a relationship.

"Fuck Sky! Do you know how much there is?" He asks me and I nod my head 'no' as he starts jumping up and down.

"Sky what you did was not small. Logan paid you more then enough. You have 6 million dollars for you and 4 mill for Harry in that bank account. We had 999,999 dollars, just under the 10 mil mark so the feds wont notice. Don't you see what this means?!" Louis is ecstatic, throwing his arms around in joy.

I was crying and I start to cry harder when I realize I have 10 mill in the bank. I never have to work again. I can find a small home, a small car and live there until I die with Rose. I can pay her college loans and that money may be small for some people but thats the most money I have ever had and its more than enough for me until I die. I don't need to be extravagant, I can live a modest life.

"Louis oh god! Louis I can't believe this." As I throw myself into his arms and he hugs me tightly. He squeezes me and I suddenly start laughing. I throw my head back he continues to hug me and even though, he has no profit from the money what so ever, he laughs and is all smiles, for my well being.

**

The initial shock kinda passes and I kneel in front of Jack. He is in there, under all this dirt. I don't know how Shaun found this place this quick but I don't question it. He got buried without a prayer or an eulogy. I gently stroke the dirt on top as Louis stands behind me.

"I made it. I made it out Jack. I survived. Like you always wanted me to. I got out of it." I say and suddenly all the people I left behind flashes before my eyes. They will get no miracle or a well paying boss like me. Its a miracle.

I remember what Harry told me when I told him I did not believe in miracles, 'We live on a planet that circles around a ball of fire, next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don't believe in miracles?'. I want to laugh at that but I can't bring myself to.

"I love you Jack." I whisper to him as I stand up to my feet, lean and kiss the dirt lightly. I make a cross on the dirt and leave his grave. Jack said he believed in god and religion and he died without a prayer so I feel its necessary to leave something religious with him.

"Do you know a prayer?" I ask to Louis and he is shocked form my words.

"Wasn't exactly going to church while traveling from foster home to foster home. I know you need Jesus because I heard you one night with Harry." He says, he is trying to be sarcastic. It doesn't work. It sinks onto my chest. Hearing his name and the sex we had makes my stomach flutter. He was the best I ever had. Him touching my skin even brushing through it ignite my soul and set my skin on fire. Him kissing my pussy and the lust in his eyes was enough the drive me over the edge. I could get off only from his moans.

We were sometimes rough, sometimes gentle, always passionate and intimate. I would get wet just from kissing him and we would both climax together only ten minutes into it. We made each other so pleasured only by our company that sex was beyond amazing.

"I didn't mean that." Louis says and I notice we are walking further into the graveyard. He looks scared and I know its probably my facial expression thats scaring him.

He stops and I don't know what to do. A breeze hits me and I realize this shirt is far too thin for a chilly fall day. He looks hard at a point behind him and my heart races as I look back. I somehow know its him.

When I look back, I am right.

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