Troubled [h.s.]

51

I felt generous so here is the double update as promised

Sky's POV

I get calmer by the second as Harry holds me. I never had this nightmare before. It seemed as if everyone I knew who died, died all over again. It hurt as much as it did when it first happened.

"Jack? Why?" Harry's eyes find mine in the well lit room. I feel at peace, bundling on his chest like this. I don't want us to stop.

"When I came back from New York. He had a fever and had everyone around him in his room. I knew he was going to die. It was from organ failure I think. He died that morning." I blurt and I can see Harry is shocked. I don't know what he is so shocked about. The fact that Jack died at the first place, or because I am not a vegetable mush and actually dealt with it. I owe that to Louis though.

"Are you okay?" His voice gives it away. He is more shocked about me coping with his death rather than him actually dying. I am surprised at myself I must admit.

Harry's POV

"I am as okay as I can be." She blurts and I know she is holding something back. I know, not admitting my feelings for her is hurting her too. I need to find out what they are before I do so.

I don't want to make a mistake but then again, not being with her always seems like a mistake.

We were never in this in between phase. Before, I was the one vocal about my feelings and she was in the introvert one. Now, she is expressing her feelings towards me and I am the one not saying anything back. I feel like I have the upper hand in our relationship and I am actually glad. We saw what happened when she had the upper hand.

"Do you want to sleep?" I ask and even though I am very tired, I want to stay up with her if she needs to. I don't want her to be miserable. I want to make sure she is okay.

"I don't know what I want." Its clear she is not talking about sleeping. She was the one who ended everything between us but four days later, she rushed to me so fast that she forgot to pack pajamas. Those four days were pure hell for me. I missed her and I was in pain. I wanted her back despite everything happened. Thats the point she is always missing. I need her more than she thinks I do.

I forget my troubles when I am with her. She makes me feel wanted, loved after everything that happened with my family. She makes me feel like I finally belong to somewhere, someone. We may not be the best for each other but that what makes it so great. We teach each other things the other doesn't know and we teach each other to be ourselves. Imperfectly perfect.

"You don't have to know what you want. What do you feel?" I ask as she looks up to me on my chest. She puts her chin on my bare chest and I can see she is lightly crying.

"You turn me into this emotional wreck. I am no longer the girl that trusts no one, doesn't catch feelings and is a cold hearted thief. I am a woman. I am a woman that thinks of what others think and a woman that cries all the time. A woman that loves so much that her heart hurts and a women who puts other in front of her. A women who can cope with death, even feels like she can cope with her parents death. You make me heal and even though it hurts like fuck. I want to be over this fucked up state. I want to be healed and recover." She has grown more than I thought. She wants to be over with her past and have a better future, because of me and with me.

"Say something." she blurts when I continue to stare at her. I decide to tell her the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Do you think the universe fights for our souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences." I say. Its a thought I had when I was thinking about what she said about loving me because the whole entire universe conspired us to be together. She looks confused but then thinks about it and opens her full lips.