Broken String

CLIX

Brett gets up in one smooth move and holds out his hand. For a moment Eddy hesitates. His eyes flick to the wheelchair, innocently sitting over there in the corner. But no. Come on. He can walk this tiny bit, right? Surely? He smiles and takes the hand, hauls himself up and then he shakily takes the four steps over to the bed. 
"Wow." Brett says. "It looks like it's getting easier."
"It is." Eddy replies in wonder as he plops himself on the bed and breathes deeply until the daggers die down.
Not daggers really, anymore. Just... drawing pins. Or maybe some of those naff tiny Swiss army knives. He takes one more deep breath and tries not to cry. "It is."
"Wow." Brett whispers again as he sits down beside him and pulls him in. "Um. Okay. So. I'm sorry but I need to ask you... I know what you've said but I need to ask you how yesterday was for you."
Eddy can't hide his sharp intake of breath. He's gone from strong and sexy to insecure Brett in seconds. 
Oh, he loves insecure Brett. It opens something inside of him he didn't know existed. A care, a love, like he could have for a precious child. Like he wants to protect him at all costs, instead of the other way around. He puts his arm on Brett's thigh and squeezes gently. 
"Why does it worry you so much?"
Brett eyes him wildly and shrugs so violently that Eddy's hand almost falls off the thigh. 
"Because... Jesus, Eddy. I've watched you... you know. Over the last while. I've watched you as you spiralled down. I thought... I thought I was losing you. I can't... I can't bear it. And if I hurt you... I know how brave you are. I said it yesterday. I don't want to be the thing that hurts you."
A calm sinks over Eddy as he watches his love swallow down inevitable tears. He smiles, because he gets it, now. How would he himself have been if it would have been Brett?
"You've been so strong, Bretty." he says gently. "Stronger than I could have been. I get that it was hard for you, too. Maybe even harder. I don't know. So if you need them I'll give you the details of how it was for me."
He scoots even closer so their arms and thighs touch. He can feel his warmth, radiating through the thin fabric of Brett's black slacks. Eddy takes another deep breath, the next smile coming from deep within.
"Okay." he says, suddenly shy. Brett looks up at him, quiet, waiting. A giggle escapes Eddy's lips. "I can't believe I'm about to discuss this."
"Did it hurt at all?" Brett asks quietly. 
"A tiny bit, at first. But nothing bad. And when you touched...you know that spot... it was awesome. I wasn't pretending." 
A glance, a widening of eyes, so small that no one else could see. But he knows him well. 
"Wait. You thought I was pretending?"
Brett shakes his head. 
"Not really. I needed to be sure."
"Okay." Eddy nods, a squeeze of a hand solidifying the nod. "Let's just agree to always be honest. I'll let you in."
"You let me in yesterday." Brett says soberly. Eddy instantly bursts out in a fit of giggles. Because it's funny. And because he's relieved, because the joke means that insecure Brett is okay, for now.
"I did. But that wasn't what I meant."
"I know."
Brett leans over and kisses him languidly, not quite with his passion yet, not with his fire, but a sweet, gentle kiss that seems to erase what's gone before even more. And Eddy lets him in, of course he does. 
He always will. 
"And I'll let you in as well." Brett tells him softly as he lets him go and entwines their hands. "I promise."