Broken String

XXXI

He hates himself for it, he really does, but there was just no way he wasn't going to ask Brett that question. He's feeling so small right now, so very, very weak, especially now that Brett has left for his seconds. He needs him, right now, it's the only way he's going to keep it all together. So he settles himself under the quilt and breathes deeply to stay calm while he waits for his best friend to finish up in the bathroom and come back.
Brett's presence, when he enters the room, instantly seems to soothe everything. And look. He's loved the guy since they were fourteen.
But did he ever know how deep that ran?
Brett turns off the light, quietly slips into the bed beside him and lays his head on the other cushion.
"So, you wanna tell me?" he asks after a long moment. And it's an invitation. Not a demand.
Eddy hums and turns on his back. His eyes are getting used to the darkness and he can just about make out the little crack in the plaster work above him. 
"Did Todd tell you how he found me?" he asks the ceiling.
He can feel Brett shrug. "He told me you were on the toilet."
"Bless him." he says.
"He didn't find you on the toilet?"
"Yeah, he did." Eddy admits to the ceiling before he even really knows it. "Naked and in tears, though. I've been so fucking weak it's not even funny."
Look. He didn't want to share any of this, but he needs to. He needs to talk to somebody about all of this, or he'll lose his mind.
"You're not weak, Eddy." Brett says soberly from his place next to him. "Jesus, you've been so strong. You're upbeat, you're still laughing and chatting. We played D&D for fuck's sake. I'd be in a heap if I was where you are."
Eddy is quiet for a long moment as he processes this. Why does he have the urge to turn on his side right now, to take Brett's hand? That would be all sorts of weird, right?
Not that him lying there when he has his own bed in the next room isn't already weird, let's face it.
"The way you called your mum..." Brett carries on quietly. "So calm, and comforting. Look, Eddy. Don't think you're weak, okay? You've been real strong."
"I don't feel strong." he whispers.
"I get that."
Brett's hand that suddenly appears on his shoulder is so soft and warm that he almost cries again.
"I... I don't want to be alone." he admits in an even softer whisper.
"Good." Brett whispers back. "Because neither do I."

Okay, so fuck it anyway. How many lines has he crossed tonight? He can't even count them, so one more won't matter. He puts his hand on top of Brett's and squeezes it. The room around them is dark and warm, and somehow not so empty anymore now.
"I love you, man." he whispers.
"You too." Brett whispers back.
What's there to say, now? Nothing. Eddy smiles into the night, because his heart's a little lighter all of a sudden. And just then, just when he's going to say good night, they both hear it.
"Oh! Toddy!" Ian's ecstatic call comes through the thin walls, coupled with the sound of their king-sized bed, hitting the wall rhythmically. Eddy grins just as Brett chuckles darkly.
"Oh God, don't they know how thin these walls are?" Brett quips, and now Eddy giggles out loud.
"Evidently not."
Todd's loud groan swims through the room next, the bed's rhythm accelerating. 
"Alright, well, while they do that, maybe let's try and get some sleep, yeah?" Brett says gently.
"Yeah."
Look, he's done basically nothing at all, today, but he's exhausted all the same. And the pain in his arms has eased some, now that he's lying down, at ease, relaxed, almost. God, what a difference it makes that Brett's here. He closes his eyes and before he knows it he's drifting off to sleep.