Broken String

CIII

Todd looks his great friend up and down. He's... well, he's weird. One third radiant, one third tired, one third awkward as fuck. 
Just like Eddy has been. They've been almost formal with each other. What the hell happened between them?
"You okay, bro?" he asks as they enter the con and Ian shoots to the left to talk to a viola friend of his. They have like ten minutes until they have to be in the auditorium. Brett turns and eyes him wildly. 
"Fuck." he whispers, and Todd is moving already, walking quickly towards the hallway they both know. Brett hums and follows him. 

"What's going on?" he asks once they're in their safe space behind the coffee machine, but Brett looks down at his feet and he's quiet for the longest time. Todd eyes him wearily as he watches the unnamed emotions flit over his friend's face. Is he even going to talk at all, or are they going to stand here like lemons?
Todd doesn't care, though. He'll stand here, hell, he'll miss the rehearsal. Anything to get that wild look off of Brett's face. 
"I had the best sex I've ever had last night." Brett says suddenly, so soberly that Todd has to blink away his surprise. 
"Wow." 
Brett nods. "Yeah. That's what I thought, too. Fuck, I shouldn't think about it, or I'll..."
Todd smiles at Brett's meaningful hand gesture downwards. Although to be honest, it surely wouldn't be the first time Brett has been hard in this building? I mean, is there any guy here who's never had... thoughts? 
"So... what's the problem?"
"Did you see us this morning?" Brett hisses. "Jesus fuck, Todd. I have no idea where I  even stand now. I... I don't think I can ever see him the way I saw him before again. I thought by not talking about it we would be able to go back to where we used to be, you know, should things be different... later on. But I... now I want to take him on a date, somewhere nice, I need to. I've told him I'm taking him somewhere already. But don't you see how much potential this has to become the fuck up of the century?"
Todd shrugs and puts his hand on Brett's shoulder, the gesture comforting, he hopes. A date. He's taking him on a date. He can just picture it now, he knows how good Brett is at wooing people. Eddy is going to have the time of his life. So is Brett, clearly. 
"I do see." he says calmly. "But I also see the potential it has for being the best thing that's ever happened to either of you."
"You think? I mean, you are aware I've fucked up every single relationship I've ever had, right? Never even made it past week four. Am I really the guy for him? You know what he's like, right?"
Todd nods carefully and squeezes the shoulder he's holding. 
"Mister commitment."
He takes a deep breath as he gathers his thoughts. I mean, Brett is right, of course. Although he's great at getting girls he's not been one for relationships. He gets bored with the girl, or they get bored with him, and it dissipates as quickly as it materialised. But surely with Eddy it's different? Or maybe... because of Eddy it's different? It has to be, right? Look, for all intents and purposes they've been a married couple for years. How different can it be then if they also happen to be fucking? 
"He's not the same as those girls you've been with, though." he tells him quietly. "Is he?"
"No." Brett's voice softens and warms up. "He's not. He's the best guy. He always has been, to me. He's always come before any of them, even before feelings were involved."
"Exactly. Look, I get it though, Brett. And I'm so sorry if... I don't know. I feel like I drove you forward, somehow."
"No, Toddy." Brett shakes his head and looks up at him with puppy eyes. "Whatever happens now I can't even imagine having missed... this. And last night. Jesus. I... oh fuck it, now I am hard. Sorry."
Todd grins and quips.
"So offended. Seriously. How dare you."
A ghost of a smile crosses Brett's lips.
"So, off to the toilet for a minute?" Todd suggests with his tongue firmly in his cheek.
"No, thank you, Todd." Brett retorts in a clipped tone. "I think I have a little more self control than that, thank you very much."
His great friend looks away towards the main hall, but he doesn't look like he's seeing anything but what's in his mind's eye. Which must be pictures of Eddy, surely. Whoa, he's got it bad, hasn't he? 

"Besides." Brett adds then in the smallest, but simultaneously most upfront voice. "I want to save it for him."
Todd's mouth falls open. 
"Whoa. I've... I don't think I've ever heard you talk like this before. About anyone."
Brett shrugs.
"You're right. And it scares me shitless. Toddy... please tell me I'm not about to destroy both of our lives? Destroy what we had? Please?"
Todd watches his great friend. His eyes are impossibly wide and so moist he's not sure if that's normal or if there are tears lurking. He wants to step forward and hug him, but he knows he can't. Not after what he's just told him. 
"I don't think you will, Bretty." he tells him honestly.

God, he hopes he won't.
He'll never, ever forgive himself if he does.