Broken String

CXXXI

"Eddy, I'm so glad you came! Jesus, man. You're... well. You're a bigger man than I would have been."
Eddy smiles up at Frank, who has jumped down from the stage and is ignoring other people already crowding him. Brett is by his side like a sentinel, eyeing him worriedly, Anita is still behind him, chatting to the concertmaster.
"No, of course not, Frank. I couldn't miss it. You played great."
"You would have been better."
Eddy stops breathing as the words leave Frank's mouth. Whoa. Wait. He means it. And for a second he sees what's behind the eyes. 
Fuck it, Brett was right, back in his bedroom, when he said that he, too... 
"Don't say that, Frank, I really don't know if that's true. You played well, and I mean that unreservedly." 
Frank takes a deep breath and nods. 
"Thanks, Eddy."
"Hey, why don't you come over, some point?" Eddy invites, shocking himself. "Have a couple beers?"
It's only in the slight widening of the eyes, in the quick shooting glance towards Brett, that Eddy can see he's happy to be asked. 
"Yeah, man. Sure thing." he says then. 

The evening air is like a balm, soothing a forehead he didn't know was hot. 
"Eddy." Anita says, as she leans over and presses a kiss to the top of his head like he's her child, or her nephew. It's so sweet he could cry. "You rock, yeah? You good?"
He smiles. 
"Yeah, fine. Thanks, Anita."
"Yeah. So as we're inviting people, maybe I'll cook you some pasta, some point. I'm half Italian, so..."
"That would be awesome." he tells her. This lady with her kind eye, keenly seeing through all of his crap... she's quickly becoming one of his favourite women ever. She smiles, waves and walks away towards the car park. He watches her vanish as Brett takes the handlebars of his chair and starts pushing him back home at speed. 

It takes a few blocks, but then he realises that Todd and Ian are hanging back. Are they giving them space? Probably, because Brett is suddenly so close he can feel his breath tickle the hairs on the back of his neck.
"You did so well, Eddy. Wow."
Eddy shrugs. 
"I just did what I should have."
Look, it's not that he doesn't want to tell him about the life changing realisation he had back there, in an auditorium full of people. It's just that he can't, not yet. It could spook him, it could mean too much, it could be too needy, too...
It could be more than Brett wants. So he'll keep it contained for now, to warm him, to pull him through empty nights of pain, through salmon buildings and new doctors. 
He's got Brett, because of it all. At least for now. 

"So, you tired?"
"Not really. Why? Wanna go to the park?"
"Absolutely." Brett grins and he's already waving at the guys behind him. 
It's fully dark of course, and Eddy takes a deep, deep breath. Breathing is so much easier now the con is long behind them, now that it's just the two of them. The street is quiet as Brett pushes him onto the first gravel path. There's no need to talk even, right now. It's enough to feel the balmy air, it's enough to take deep breath after deep breath, leaving all the conflicting emotions behind. Within minutes Brett parks him next to the bench and holds out his hand. 
And look, he would ask why, usually he stays in the chair, but he can see Brett's expression in the evanescent light that reflects from the lone streetlamp into the pond, and he knows not to, he simply takes the hand and swings himself onto the wooden bench. Brett sits down next to him and puts his arm around his shoulder, pulling him in. 
"I'm so fucking proud of you, corny as that sounds." he whispers. 
"Why?"
"Don't be dense, Eddy." Brett grins. His face is very close. "You know why. That was a hard thing to do and you did it with... well, grace, I guess. And inviting Frank over?"
Eddy shrugs. 
"I could see suddenly that you were right before, he'd definitely been baulking. I could see the... insecurity, I guess, behind the confident exterior. I guess... I used to think that it was just me."
Brett blinks into the dimness. 
"Wow. That's... wow."
Brett's hand is on his lap and Eddy takes it now, entwining their fingers like they belong like that. God, he loves him, how he loves him. 
How he wishes he could tell him, but no.
Not now, not yet. 
"I guess... I've learned a couple things. You've helped with that."
Brett grins wryly.
"You're not the only one who's been learning things."
"No?"
"No." he shakes. "But if you don't mind, I've played a whole concert while worrying about you, and right now I'd like to snog you silly. That okay?"