Broken String

CXV

"Um." Brett whispers. He looks down at his knees and it seems like he's making a huge decision. Then he nods. "Okay."
Even if Eddy wanted to he wouldn't be able to respond, because his tongue is tied and his mouth is part of the Gobi desert again. Brett takes a deep breath. 
"Wow. Um. Okay. I can't believe I'm about to tell you this. I was going to cry, Eddy. I don't even know why but I... I couldn't help it. I needed... you needed. Um. I just didn't think you needed to see that but then I came back and you... Fuck. I could see that I hurt you."
"You were going to cry?" Eddy whispers over the length of the desert. I mean, he had kind of seen that, this morning, maybe, but when has Brett ever done that? And even more so, when has he ever admitted to that? 
Brett nods. 
"I never cry. I don't even know why I did now."
"It wasn't because you..." Eddy swallows. Oh, God, he doesn't want to say this, but he has to because he can feel the implications rippling through him already. "Um. It wasn't because you didn't... like what we did?"
Brett shocks him stiff by jumping up and staring at him as if he's grown an extra head, Hydra style. "What? Are you cr... Eddy! Please tell me you're kidding me. Of course not! You saw me!"
Eddy blinks as his heart slides back into his chest and the second head fades. Brett is there in front of him, toned arms to the side, brown eyes wider than deserts, clearly astounded.
Wait. 
Astounded means he liked it, right? It must? Eddy's heart calms down and he takes his first real breath of the day. Desert sand flies out from every dusty corner of him and melts away as if burned into glass. 
"Um. Yeah. I did see you." he says quietly as a surge of something new, something confidence pulls through him. Is it because Brett is being vulnerable like he's never seen him? It invites something in him he didn't know was there. "I really liked seeing you like that." he adds. "But then after... I was afraid you thought it was too much."
Brett sits down with the same shock he jumped up with and he takes Eddy's hand. His thumb rubs Eddy's skin, up and down, up and down just that way he has, just that way that Eddy loves already. 
"No, Eddy. Of course not. Please, don't ever worry about that, okay?"
"So you're... you're happy? With where we are?"
Brett's face turns even paler but after a beat he nods. 
"I've never been happier." he says, and Eddy knows instantly that it's an admission. Oh my God, he knows he means it. Butterflies start swarming from his heart out into his belly and through the room, dancing freely with the light the glass reflects. "And more scared." Brett adds. "Please, have a bit of patience with me?"
Eddy leans over, this new weird confidence floating through him, making him do things he wouldn't even have considered yesterday. He kisses him softly, just a peck, like the one he wished Brett would give him when he left. 
"So why did you cry?" he asks gently. Brett shrugs. 
"I really don't know. Just because it's a lot. But not because I'm unhappy. You believe me, right?"
Eddy nods and kisses him again.
"I believe you, and I'll give you all the patience in the world." he whispers against his lips. "Just so you know... last night was a dream I never knew of."

Is it a cheesy line? Sure. Has there ever been a moment before where he would even have considered saying this? Surely not. But that doesn't make it any less true right now. Brett smiles against his lips and nods. His back seems straighter, somehow, suddenly, his posture just that little bit more upright, and when he leans away his eyes shine the pallor away. 
"It's been a dream, huh?" he whispers then. All of his vulnerability is vanishing, melting in front of his eyes, and Eddy knows it's not because he's not allowed to see it, no, it's because it really is melting. He nods.
"Yes."
"Cool." Brett says, and he kisses him once, just like Eddy did a minute ago. "Didn't all of this begin with a dream?"