Broken String

CXXIX

The con looks the same but different, almost alien, all at once. He's never been away from this place for as long as he has been right now and the dull, throbbing pain in his hand is a stark reminder about why. He needs to be here tonight, though. It's the Sibelius, the concert that used to be his. 
He can't flake out, he can't hide under the quilt like a four year old, out of sight of the world, disappearing, his cremulated body washing out with the wind. He's an adult. He can put his big boy panties on and show his support to everyone who is playing today. 
So even though everyone and their dog asked him if he'd be alright, whether he was sure, yes. He's sure. He was sure this morning and he's sure now. He wearily watches the huge door as Todd pushes him into the building. 
It has been a long, long day today as he sat on the couch imagining it all. The last rehearsal his friends had at three o clock, during which his mum came and chatted with him on their couch, but he never wanted to tell her just why he was being so quiet. Knowing how nervous Frank will be feeling right now. Probably.
Has he had dreams of baulking?
Probably not, right?
"Ms. Parry is going to be here, yeah?" Brett asks, for the third time. Eddy smiles, because he knows he's worried. 
God, what it means to him that he's worried, even if it makes him feel guilty. 
"Yes. She should be here in a minute."
That was the one compromise he was willing to make. He let Todd ask her if she'd accompany him and apparently she answered "heck yeah, bring the boy over."
He grins to himself and scans the room for her. 

"Eddy! There you are!"
She's there and his heart lifts. How could he have ever had bad dreams about this kind lady, who is coming towards him like a bright yellow buoy in a lost sea, small paper bag in her hand, wearing a huge smile and a sweet glow? She holds the bag out to him. 
"Chocolate is the answer to everything."
He grins and takes the bag.
"Thanks, Anita. We can share in the hall on the down low."
"Oh, no." she shakes her head and pats her belly. "Chocolate is no longer the answer to everything when you're middle aged, trust me, not if you want to fit in your dresses."
"If he starts wearing dresses when he's middle aged I'm disowning him." Todd quips, making Eddy snort. 
"Hey! Let the man do what he wants." Brett pipes up. "Judge not, and all that."
"Okay, you can stop now." Eddy holds up his hand and grins. "Not about to start wearing dresses. And none of you are getting any of my chocolate. Now, can we get in, or something?"
"Good boy." Anita winks, and she takes over the handlebars from Todd. "Want some coffee while they go off?"
"Sure. Hey, toi toi, guys."

Brett's eyes are deep, and narrow, and almost sorrowful. He glances to the stairs that lead to the auditorium, then back at him, then nods to himself.
"Yeah?" he asks. 
Eddy gives him a firm nod. 
"I'm good. Have fun."

Anita is easy company, thank God, chatting to him about her kids, about her husband, who works in IT, apparently. The time flows kindly and he's almost not nervous at all. He's almost not thinking about how it would have been him right now, warming up, stepping out for one last sound check with the orchestra, hanging back in the grey hallway, waiting for his cue to step on and face the crowd. He blinks quickly and focuses back on Anita. 
"You ready to go?" she asks him warmly and he nods another firm nod. 
"Yep. Let's go."