Broken String

LXVI

"Brett. Got a sec?"
Todd manages to corner him just as he comes back from the toilet. They're about to go into orchestra rehearsal but he needs to talk to him, needs to find out what the hell is going on. He's been watching his boys all morning, and something is clearly, clearly up.
Did they have a fight?
Brett and Eddy never fight, he's never once known them to. But why else would they be quiet like that, and weirdly polite with one another? And he's caught Brett's eyes, just now. They are...
Confused.
There's no other word he can think to describe them. And for something to break through his deadpan shell like that?
"Um, sure. What's on your mind?"
Brett stops and looks at him, but not quite. His eyes are slightly away from him, to the side of his face.
Todd swallows. All right, he's got him now, but how will he even put this? Is it even his place to butt in? But then what will he say to him? Sorry, never mind, talk to you later?
"I - I just..." he stammers, before his tongue takes over. "Just... what the hell is going on with you two?"
Okay, so that wasn't as graceful as he had meant to put it, but then he sees Brett's face as the remnants of his shell crash around him and he knows it'll do.
"Nothing, Todd." Brett tries. "It's fine."
"Like hell it is." Todd hisses. There is a hallway behind the disgusting coffee machine in the main hall that leads to the audio department in the depths of the building. Todd knows there's rarely anyone in that space, so he pulls Brett there now.
"Look." he says once they're hidden from view. "I'll butt out if you want me to. But something's clearly up. I'm your friend. Right?"
Brett freezes to the spot and stops breathing.
"Right. O- of course you are." he stammers. "B-but..."
"Then why can't I help you?"
He's sounding too needy, almost whiny, he can hear himself, but it does it: Brett looks at him directly and suddenly he seems to sag.
"Oh, God, Todd. It's just so stupid."
"Did something happen?"
Brett grins curtly, almost fatalistically.
"You could say that."
And that's it, that's when the penny drops. He's seen this gaze before, after all, this way of looking down and then up through eye lashes.
Bashful.
He's seen it too many times in fact not to know what it means.
"Sweet Jesus." Todd whispers. "You... Jesus. You..."
"No! No. It's not like that." Both of Brett's hands are flying up in defence and he visibly leans back into the concrete wall behind him for support. "It's just helping... you know, I'm... look, it's not like that. It's no biggie."
Todd blinks and tries to find his footing. He can see Brett's not about to tell him what they did.
But he can guess.
"Okay." he says after a long moment, once his feet are making their way back under him. "I won't ask. But if it's not like that... why are you like this?"

Never, ever, ever before has he seen tears in Brett's eyes. Not even when his great grandfather died, years ago. But they're there now, floating, not quite rolling over. And he can see these are not sad tears, no, they're angry. They're confused.
"I don't know, okay?" Brett half shrieks then. "I don't know anything anymore. I have no idea where I stand now."
"Jesus, mate." Todd steps forward and puts his hand on Brett's shoulder. His friend shudders and swallows, clearly to stop himself from descending into full-blown wailing. "Look... if it helps, I find if I'm confused it helps to just only think about the next step. What do I want to happen today? This hour? This minute? Right now? Just don't think about the rest."
Brett stands against the wall and looks up at him. Todd's hand is still on Brett's shoulder, and for now he leaves it in place. It's better that way, he can keep him anchored, keep him safe.
"Yeah?" Brett hesitates.
"Yeah. I guess... even if you don't know where you're going at all, as long as you keep making all the tiny steps that feel right right now, you'll get to where everything is... well, right."
Brett takes a deep breath that seems to come from his toes, and then he nods.
"Take tiny steps. I can do that."
Todd grins as he takes the opening.
"With your legs it's the only kind you'll ever take."
And that's it, Brett grins and shoves him, Todd's hand falls off Brett's shoulder, and they're both laughing.
"Come on." Todd says then. "We'd better get back before Ian will get jealous."
Brett scoffs.
"Don't flatter yourself, Todd."
Todd laughs out loud and he pats his great friend on the back once.
"Well, what's not to love?"

They're already walking back through the main hall, past the stairs, when Brett holds up, just for a second.
"Thanks though, Todd, for... you know."
"Of course, bro." he nods. "Any time. You know that, right?"
"Right."