Broken String

CLI

"Are you feeling better now?"
Brett's voice is soft but it pervades him. He's settled in beside him, his head on Brett's chest, his hand loosely on the other side of his torso, his fingers stroking the soft jersey of his shirt.
"Yeah." he says honestly. It was a good night, made even better because he knows all of the shit holding him back will end. Soon he won't have to be pushed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He'll be able to do all the things he's always taken for granted himself, again. A thrill runs through him, but a tremor of something else too. 
"Do you... um. Do you think it will change anything?" he says gingerly, before he can decide to keep it to himself. 
"What, you walking again?" the soft voice comes back. Eddy lifts his head to look at him because the depth of the tone tells him this is not a new thought to Brett. 
"Um. Yes. You're worried?"
Brett shrugs. 
"Not really. I mean. Jesus." Suddenly he giggles shyly. His hand goes up and strokes Eddy's hair once, twice, three times, settling at the base of his neck. "You're bringing up all of my insecurities."
"Um." Eddy blinks. "For a long time I didn't really think you had any." 
Another shrug.
"Of course I do. They're just... I have more to lose, now."
Eddy's heart swells to double its size. Small Brett. Insecure Brett. What an incredible privilege that he gets to see that, that he gets to be trusted with that. 
"You'll never lose me." he whispers. "I knew that before we ever said a word about any of this. What I feel for you will never change."
"For real?" Brett says, eyes impossibly large, shimmering with something in the soft light from the lamp on the nightstand. Eddy nods. 
"Yeah."
"Oh, Eddy." he groans. "God, I love you. I can't believe I get to have you."
Eddy settles back into his chest and snuggles up to him. 
"Likewise."
"We should sleep, though. Physio at nine. Not your favourite hour."
Eddy grins and gives the arm under his right hand a gentle punch. 
"Yeah, yeah."
It's gotten late, of course, because when doesn't it? It's been the best evening he's had in ages though, because everyone in the house has been upbeat. Like a veil he didn't know was lying over the house has been lifted. And all evening long Brett has been... soft. He doesn't know how else to describe it. Even though he's bantered with the guys like he always does his eyes have barely left him all evening as if...
As if he's precious.
How could he ever have expected to be precious? 
So now he doesn't want to think about the physio at all, the scary specialist physio who called just as dinner was being served - yet another medical spot he's being rushed in - no. No thinking. He just wants to go to sleep in the arms of the man with the soft eyes.
Where he belongs now. 
See? Now it's easy to smile as Brett turns off the light. Now it's easy to float, to let go, to forget about everything and begin again. 
"Hey Eddy?" Brett whispers, just as he starts to float away.
"Uhuh?"
"I didn't hurt you, right?"
"What?" he bolts up again and eyes him in the dusky gloom. "Uhm. This afternoon?"
He can almost hear Brett's eyes roll.
"Yes."
"No! I mean..." to be honest he's been too busy with the afterglow of that to even think about... "It's a little sensitive, I guess. But nothing bad." he says honestly, then revels in how Brett seems to relax under him. 
"Just so you know, that was the best thing ever." Brett whispers after a beat. "I'm glad I didn't hurt you."

How could he explain to him that he doesn't care? That it could have hurt lots and it still wouldn't have mattered? That he needed to give himself to him, all of him? 
"I agree." he says softly. 
Some things just can't be caught in words, but they can be caught in soft eyes, in whispered sighs, in fingers that play with smooth fabric.
He hopes.