Broken String

CXIX

The building is still just as stark, just as yellow, just as dirty. The only difference is that now he knows that answers are coming and he's never dreaded anything as much as this. 
It didn't help, that Todd said his mum told him that assistants aren't allowed to give info over the phone. It didn't even help that they played D&D and it certainly didn't help that he didn't sleep. Brett kept his promise though, he held him all night. 
Eddy shivers as Brett parks the car by the side of the road.
"Okay." he says as he turns the engine off and gets out to get the chair.

Are these his last moments of hope? The last moments he'll be able to see the sun, smell the sweetness of blossoms in the air and know he'll smell them again, year after year? Is he ever going to walk again? Is he going to live, in fact? He shudders again as the revolving doors swallow them up. 
"I hate it here." he says before he knows it. 
"I know. Hopefully we won't be here many more times."
But does Brett actually believe that? 

By the time they've registered at the desk Eddy feels sick. His stomach swims and for a second he think he's actually going to throw up. Shit. Where can he go? He looks around helplessly and takes deep breaths to try and keep it together. 
"Hey. You good?" Brett whispers by his side, and fuck it, why would Eddy care? He reaches and grabs his hand. 
"Um. Not sure." he manages. 
Okay, come on, get it together. You're NOT about to dirty the floor, here. He takes deep breath after deep breath until a door opens and the kind neurologist from last time sticks her head around the corner.
"Mr. Chen."
His heart flips over and starts doing somersaults. Brett jumps up beside him and pushes him into the examination room at speed. 

"So, hello, good to see you again. How have you been?" the doctor starts.
"The same." Eddy manages through his teeth. "Please, just tell me the results."
She blinks once, but recovers quickly.
"Of course. So, in the scan there is absolutely nothing out of place. All is as it should be. So that doesn't explain why..." she trails off, because she must catch his expression.
"Nothing?" he whispers. He feels faint. "There's nothing wrong?"
"Well, there's nothing we can find on the scan." she says kindly. "So it's not M.S., or another neurological disorder that we could have discovered with the scan.
Her words ring around his brain until he has to grip the arms of the chair to stay in it.
"Why the... why couldn't you just tell me that on the phone?" He is imploding, exploding, sounding much harsher than he intends, but the words are coming no matter what. "I just spent like sixteen hours in a state of panic. Why was that necessary?" He shuts his mouth in shock, keeping the rest of the harshness he feels contained inside.
Wait. Where did that just come from? His mum would have a heart attack if she saw him like this. 
It felt... good, though. It felt liberating, even if he feels like an arse now because the kind neurologist's face pales slightly.
"Oh! I see... I mean, I wanted to talk to you in person, because I want to discuss the options we have now. I'm very sorry you were distressed. It's protocol to do it like this, but I'm sorry it caused you upset."
She means it, clearly. His heart rate starts slowing down and for the first time in half an hour he doesn't feel like he's about to spew. 
"It's okay. Sorry to be harsh like that." he says, a lot more calmly now. "Um. So... I'm not... dying?"
She shakes her head, the slight smile almost imperceptible.
"No, Mr. Chen, you're very likely not dying, at least not from this. I'm still going to refer you to a colleague of mine who knows more about these sorts of unexplained symptoms, though, to see if we can get to the bottom of this. Meanwhile, maybe we need to look at pain medication."
"I don't want any." Eddy says before he can even formulate a thought on the subject. "Um. I mean. I guess... if I'd be in less pain I'd do too much. It's okay, like this. I don't want any drugs."
She nods thoughtfully.
"And you're... managing? At home?"
Eddy shoots a glance at Brett. This is the question, you see, the question that makes his heart pound all over again, that makes his stomach swim again. Because really, is the answer to this particular question even up to him?
"Are we?" he asks softly. Brett looks up in surprise.
"Yes! Of course."

A/N. So... some of you have been wondering how I know so much about this stuff. And so therefore today I want to dedicate this chapter to my Dad, who fought M.S. for 31 years before he left us. 
Here's to him <3