Broken String

CXL

Now that he's sitting again the oxygen is gone, again. Even the thought of what happened before can't help him now that the doctor sits down and eyes him seriously. Quick, quick breaths, pounding heart, because is this it?
Really? Is this finally it?
"Okay." the doctor starts. "So I think I know what's been wrong with you. I can't be a hundred percent sure until we've tried what I'd like to suggest, though."
The doctor's eyes, so kind, why are they all so kind? Why is he waiting, with this verdict that makes his heart pound so heart his chest is about to fly open and explode into dust?
"Eddy, I think you've been experiencing what's called a conversion disorder. Manifesting itself a little differently from the norm, which is probably why it hasn't been seen. You see... it's where a mental health issue interferes with the way your brain works, and then it manifests itself through physical complaints. Often people can't move a limb, can't see or hear properly, things like that. Have you experienced other symptoms you haven't mentioned that could relate to that?"
It takes him a full five seconds to get his breath together enough to speak.
Conversion disorder? Mental health? What, like John said? Burn out?
"Um... I was having... panic attacks, I guess you could say." he admits quietly. "Only a few of them. I... I overpractised, I know that now."
Another knowing nod.
"That makes sense. And... is that going better now, the attacks?"
"Yes. I feel... different. The panic is gone, I think."
"So... what should he do?" Brett interjects, breaking his habit of saying nothing, being a fly on the wall. Eddy smiles gratefully.
"Well... that's actually probably simpler than you think." the doctor says. "You walk. Simply go through the pain, and soon the pain will go. Then, but only then, you can see if you can pick up the violin, but that one you'll have to build slowly and with the physio I will recommend. Also, I can recommend a psychotherapist, if you'd like."
"Wha... walk? That's the solution?" his eyes are as wide as Brett's, their hands together, intertwined, both of them hanging on for dear life as shards of the world he knew start crashing down around him, as a new reality starts to form in front of his astounded eyes.
"I think probably yes." the doctor smiles. "Because you seem to have eliminated a lot of the causes. But Eddy... even if it goes better quickly, which I think it will, please remember how you got here, and take good care of yourself. Now, if it doesn't help, you need to come back straight away. Like, we'll give it two days. Deal?"
Eddy's eyes shoot to Brett because he can't speak, his eyes are welling up and no, is he really going to cry in front of his doctor? Brett squeezes his hand and swallows. 
"Deal." he says softly. "I'll take good care of him."
The doctor smiles. 
"I'm positive you have been. I'm glad to see him have such a good support system."
"Um. Thanks." Brett says. "Um. Is there anything I need to look out for?"
"Just if it doesn't help, doesn't get better. Then stop and come back. But I'm fairly confident. We've checked for everything else and it seems there is nothing physically wrong. I think it's worth the try."
"I think so too." Eddy surprises himself by biting through the tears. "I can't believe it was in my head all along."
"Don't see it like that." the doctor asserts instantly, raising one finger to emphasise his point. "Conversion disorder is a very real thing and it's not at all something to be taken lightly even though the solution may seem simple. Look, Eddy, I'm just glad you've come here so soon and because of that the road back should be fairly straightforward. Still, this will be something you'll have to be careful with for a good bit. So, shall I recommend you a psychotherapist?"
Eddy is already shaking his head. No, no way. No shrinks. He's got his medicine already you see, right there, sitting beside him.
"I don't think I need it now." he says calmly. "I think... we've got it."
A small chuckle, another kind nod, a glance at intertwined hands. 
"You know what, it looks like you do. Okay, good luck, and I'd like to agree a phone appointment day after tomorrow. I'll have the physio try to fit you in tomorrow, until then, just take it easy and digest all this. Okay?"
"So... no walking yet?" Brett asks. 
"Let's try it at the specialised physio first. Okay?"
"Okay." Eddy says as waves of emotions wash over him. He keeps it together, though. "Thank you so much, doctor."
"Of course. And good luck."

And just like that they are rushing out of the exam room and heading towards the hospital exit.