special guitar | tokio hotel | Tom Kaulitz x y/n

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟹

☆
time skip

as we got closer to my home, everyone was asleep. gustav was snoring. that's cute

i looked around and saw my pants with a little bit of blood stain. i'll wash it out. i thought.

i went on my phone for a bit. tensing my fingers as i scrolled down.

(time skip cause i'm lazy)

tom woke up. i looked to him. he smiled at me a bit. i looked back at my phone to pissed off to even smile.

"we're here" the driver said. bill and gustav woke up. i put my phone in my pocket. "bye" i said dully as i got out of the van.

"bye y/n!" gustav said.
"bye y/n/n" tom yelled.
"bye girll" bill said with sass.

i walked into my house not even bothering to look back. my dad was drinking beer in the living room. "honey where have you been" he stood up.

"practice" i said lowly with a dull face. "got attitude with me?" he raised his voice. i shook my head and lowered my head.

he inhaled deeply. "smart choice, go upstairs" he said walking away. i ran upstairs but not that loud.

i walked into my room and plopped on the floor. i bursted into tears as i hugged my pillow. all the pressure, the perfection, the yelling, almost getting abused, it was to much for me.

i cried into my pillow as i thought about what happened. everything that happened.

my manager yelling at me, threatening to kick me out of the band if i fuck up the concert, all the pressure, i couldn't take it anymore.

i stood up walking to my bathroom. wiping off the tears off my cheek as i looked at myself in the mirror. i was mad. pissed off so bad

i walked out my bathroom and grabbed a piece of a glass cup on my nightstand.

⚠️ TW! self harm, blood! ⚠️
if you don't want to read this part
please skip to the part where the emoji ⚠️ shows again. this part is sensitive to some readers.

i broke the glass on my table causing glass to spread around the table. i grabbed the piece of glass and looked at it.

my tears couldn't fall anymore. my heart was pounding. my wrists were begging for the glass, the stinging, i couldn't help it.

i turned off the lights and laid in my bed. i did it. there was blood running down my wrists as i did it.

it stained my bed sheets. i got pissed. i wasn't sad anymore, i was angry. i did it again and it felt so good. i felt like i was free i couldnt stop.

before i knew it my arm was covered in blood. not a lot but it did show

i threw the glass at the wall. i looked down at my wrist and rubbed my scars. it sting but it felt nice at the same time. i cried at the pain.

i wish my brothers were here. i wish they were here to comfort me. to tell me it was all okay.

i gave up and laid back in bed. letting the blood drip on my wrists and forearms.