Chapter 44: Minecraft Speedrunner Logic

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Player spawned into Minecraft.

Player: Speedrun! Speedrun! Speedrun!

Vetterham walked to him

Vetterham: Yeah, speedrun. Wait, what are we doing? And where's Y/n?

Player: No time, Vetterham!

He ran off and Y/n spawned in with Vetterham.

Y/n: Hey, buddy.

Vetterham: Where have you been?

Y/n: I was getting my gear setup and Player just spawned in a game without even telling me why he's in such a rush.

Vetterham: (sighs) I can't believe that guy's become the second most interesting part of my day.

Y/n: Then what was the first?

Vetterham: You obviously. Now come on, let's go after him.


Player was still running.

Player: Come on! Come on, where is it?!

He saw a village up ahead.

Player: Yes, a village!

Player was still running and both Y/n and Vetterham were having a hard time keeping up, but Vetterham was having a harder time.

Y/n: Come on, Vetterham.

Vetterham: (pant) You go ahead, man. I'll be right there. (Pant) I really gotta lay off the carrots.

A villager and a baby villager were walking through the village looking at the crops.

Villager: Ah, what beautiful day. The cows are mowing, the chickens are clucking, the squids are-

They saw a squid struggling to move because of how small the amount of water he was in.

Villager: Well, never mind the squids. Fact is, nothing could ruin a day as wonderful as today.

He saw Player in the distance.

Villager: Ah, and look at this, a player character. Surely they're interested in trading for our wares.

Player: Speedrun! Speedrun!

Villager: Uh, what was that, sir? You'd like to trade five emeralds for a leather cap?

Player: Speedrun!

Villager: Sound the alarm, it's a speedrunner!

The all the villagers ran out of their houses rapidly.

Player: Give me all of your beds.

He ran to a horse and knocked it aside to get the hay.

Player: Quit horsing around.

The Golem waved at Player.

Player: Iron! I need iron!

Player started attacking the golem.

Player : Take that, and that!

The entire village was on fire.

Player: Ah, beautiful. My work here is done. Oh, and look at the time. Thanks for the resources, everybody.

Player opened a portal and went through it but the baby villager was left alone and he crawled into the arms of the dead older villager.

In the nether.

There was a Gastan.

Gastan: Fireball! Fireball!

Player came in through the portal.

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