𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 & 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 | 𝙱1 𝚂𝙺𝚉 𝙵𝙵

55

[Jisung's pov]

I couldn't stop thinking about Hyunjin confronted me. I've been making sure to keep my distance in every way possible to make sure an interaction like that didn't happen again.

But I had an inside guy keeping tabs on how they seemed to be doing. How they were holding up, Yeonjun is a trustworthy enough friend.

I had run into Woojin on campus today. He tried to be all buddy buddy, but that only cause me to punch him in the face and break his nose. You've won, I said to him, hope you're happy.

I left my motel room and began the all too familiar walk to the bar just a couple blocks down.

I looked up at the dark sky. The night expands as black angel wings, protecting earth as she dreams.

The sky was black tranquility married to a poetry of stars. It was the softness that called body and brain to rest and let the heart go to its steady rhythm. The night was a special kind of blackness, the kind that wants only to hold the stars and help them to shine all the brighter. It was a warm black that hugged you no matter what, and within it's safety I could feel my own soul all the more clearly, that innocent inborn spark.

I walked through the doors of the familiar bar. From the lazy spin of the fans, to the dim lit lights that fight so little against the starlit black, the bar soaks in so much ambiance.

If I could melt into this bar I'd be the vibe, move around as easily as the smoke. I'd soak in the laughter and the smiles, dance upon each octave in microscopic disco shoes. But meanwhile, back in reality instead of my imaginary world, I'm life-size, and so... instead I'll step into the shaded room that opens my eyes all the wider, see the muted colours of the bottles and the glitter than finds every spark of light.

Hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, all of them competing with the rock music that dominates the atmosphere. The crowd is young, students from the university for the most part. I maneuvered my way through the warm bodies to order a drink - the dark house beer that seems to be everyone's favorite.

I sit on the bar stool, tapping my figures against the wooden top until the bartender comes to meet my gaze.

I watch as the dark frothy liquid is poured into a small, crystal clear glass. I felt someone knock into me before I could even pick up the glass. I turned to look over my shoulder to see a girl turning around to apologize to me.

"I'm so sorry!" She started rambling on about why she bumped into me but I stopped listened after the word sorry. I didn't care about anything else.

When she noticed that my attention was no longer on her, I heard her huff and stomp away with her friends. Meaning the bump was intentional and was most likely to try and find a way to get me to buy a drink for her and we all know where that typically leads.

No thank you.

When the higher brain is incapacitated there is a degree of being drunk, and this can happen through alcohol, or fear or tiredness. It can also happen from positive emotions, from love and feeling safe. "Pick your addictions wisely," some would say. But I've already experienced all of them and was still aiming for all of them. Why only be addicted to the feeling of one of them, when you can have all of them?

I drowned my problems glass after glass. Not caring how much time passed or how many people came and went.

When the quieter hours of the night came, a stranger took the seat next to me, placing her drink order and turning to me.

"You look like you're having fun." Her sarcastic tone suggested that she believed otherwise.

"Oh, yea! Nothing like drowning out your problems." I spoke with the same sarcastic tone as I tipped that glass back and forced the liquid down my dry throat.